Sunday, January 09, 2011

Where Guacamole trumps Romance...

It’s Day 9 and I’ve either broken or forgotten my new year’s resolutions, instead i’ve decided to relieve myself of the pressure to achieve this quest of self-perfectionism, and as an alternative, dedicate each day to mastering two things. Today’s two things entailed the following:

1. Learn how to make a mean guacamole; and

2. Do not dispense any romantic advice.

My first task came about from my new-found love for Avocados. After a rather painful encounter at the age of 10 years old involving avocados*(see footnote) I had sworn off the things. That is, until a friend of my mine made the most awesome guacamole EVER, since that time there’s been no turning back. Today I decided to snub my nose at the store-bought variety I’ve been subsisting off the last couple of weeks, and make my own batch. Sadly, it did not go so well and I will be back to the store-bought variety in no time.

The second task I hadn’t initially planned on until I was ambushed on Blackberry Messenger by a friend lamenting her man-less state and asking for tips and suggestions. As an individual who has spent more time as a singleton than in a relationship, I found myself spouting the usual clichés like “these things take time” and “get yourself out there”.

After 20-odd years on this earth, I’ve still got nothing when it comes to matters of the heart. Yes, I may be in a relationship but it doesn’t mean I always know what’s going on. There is no secret formula to this....unless there is, and I’ve been in the dark all this time...err, one of you is going to have to clue me up here :-)

Any who, after much faffing I gave her the best advice I could summon without Googling and that was “pray on it and then just get on with life”...and then vowed to steer clear of giving romantic advice in the future as I’m absolutely rubbish at it.

What’s the best romantic/love advice you have given, or have been given?

• My baby sister and I attempted to re-enact a Palmolive advert, we’d caught on TV that involved wearing an avocado mask. Except we left our masks on too long and proceeded to try and rip it off, one avocado strip at a time...instead of just soak it (don’t ask, we were young and foolish).


In other news:

What’s up Doc?
‘Tis The Year of Our Lord 2011, aka The Year of The Rabbit (if you’re brushed up on your Chinese Astrology) and here's hoping it’s going to be a great year...the type that dreams are made of, that quickly become blockbuster flicks and novels :-D

Now this year has its work cut-out for it, especially in South Africa. With 2010 being the “Belle of the Ball” by housing the world’s most anticipated sporting competition (read: FIFA World Cup), 2011 is looking every bit like Camilla Parker-Bowles to an unforgettable Princess Di (read: 2010).

It’s early days yet, only time will surely tell.

Harry’s (Harare): I spent two long weeks at home over the holidays and was extremely excited to see that we (Zimbabwe) are creeping back on the map. Tourists could be spotted (why must they be decked out in their safari best, why?), the local arts and crafts industry was booming (check out Doone Estates and Avondale Flea Market if you’re in the areas) and there were a plethora of drinking and eating spots to pick from.

“Choice” and “joie de vivre” has returned to House of Stone.

Random sidenote: There was anomaly that haunted me during the hols at home, and that was this strange new weave being sported by one in five women. I’m guessing the original inspiration behind the do would be Rihanna (given the short sides and longish, curly middle side), however, it was the variety of bright colours and highlights that had me spell-bound. SMH!


Have an awesome week back in the land of the living, chickens.

Shake off those holiday blues and start making those dreams come true.

V x


Melanie Lytle said...

Yay! The long silence has been broken. Come on over to this former Mexican territory and I'll make some mean guacamole for you. Happy new year, dear!

kookie said...

Yeeeees! First post of the year! Yum Guacamole... bwahhahahaha @ you and your little sister re-enacting Palmolive ad's.

You've never given me bad romantic advice so I don't know what you are talking about.

Best advice I've been given to date "If he wants you, you'll know"

Sarai said...

Yoh - relationships and the useless advice people give. Thanks for championing this as a cause. My feeling is, relationships are personal and subjective by nature - what makes you think what I did will help *you*? We're too totally different people.

Then again, I suck at the relationship thing - still only one boyfriend ever - who turns out to be a psychopath... interesting.

As for 2011 - WHOOP WHOOP!

Funms-the rebirth said...

Happy new year darling,......

well best romantic advice i have been given: Follow your heart but use your head

Shona Vixen said...

Guacamole - yummy with some mean chicken fajitas made by yours truly yes moi!! I'm addicted to avocados..!!

Romantic advice - mine's more like 'he's just not that into you' and that sort of advice that comes without the anticipated or expected sweet undertones isn't well received!Well I've been told I'd make a bad therapist because of wanted to be one!
Best advice I've been given - Always be yourself in a relationship!

Just confirmed my 1st quarter's to do list with the boss and boy am I going to be busy...ah well I love being busy!!

I sure hope you'll be blogging more in 2011!!

Shona Vixen said...

ps: the coloured weaves - blame Nicki Minaj!!!I saw one this morning, and what really disappointed me was that I first spotted the shoes and I was like 'ooh helloo me likey these!' looked up and was quick to forget about her good taste in footwear!

Super star! said...

something is wrong with your friend
( without a boyfriend). Tell the truth, what is wrong with her. If there was nothing wrong with her she would have been off the shelves a long time ago.

Myne Whitman said...

Happy New year dearie, and I love your second resolution. There are really no rules to relationships.

As for the Rihanna wannabes, many of them here in Nigeria too..

KarangaChic said...

Speaking of guacamole, I went to buy some this weekend and usually I shop at this other store (save a buck i'll call it) , cos, well i'm cheap, and they have the guacamole in nice tins but the fh wanted to try another spot. This store( which shall now and forever be called money to burn), had guacamole in packets. Packets! But silly me I bought the damn things, not one, not 2 but three, and i went home feeling proud, the price should reflect the quality right? WRONG. Not only was it a mess to open but try scooping guacamole out of a plastic bag then put it back in the fridge, and try it again next day.
Apparently they missed the memo on how guacamole hardens and turns brown when exposed to air!!
I cursed myself for not sticking to my resolution to shop at save a buck for the entire year and thought obsessively about how that $15 could have gone to my wedding budget lolest.

As for the hair item DEATH to all shady weaves, wigs, highlights and kamukoto salons!! I your name is not Nicki Manure put down the Rainbow Brite/ Gem and the Holograms weave.

Love advice - Get a life, go watch a movie or one hundred by yourself, read a book, climb a mountain. The time you waste fretting over a boy is the time he uses to do constructive things in his life.

Vimbai said...

@Mel: I'm coming for that guacamole chica! Happy New Year back at you, send my love to the hubby.

@Kooks: Zim adverts from the 90's were ridiculously funny and suggestive, hence the Palmolive Ad reenact.

Ah thanks honey, i will send you more rubbish love advice in the not-so-distant future :)

@Sarai: Ehe, i agree with you on the "relationships are personal and subjective" part. I'm telling you, whether you've been in one relationship or 21, we're all clueless.

Hope 2011 is going great so far missy.

@Funms: That was some sound romantic advice you got there young lady...have you been applying it to the uber juicy "Dating Series" i see going on over at your blog #blogstalkerconfessions

@Shona: Saka when i come through for Will and Kate's nuptials in April i can expect some chicken fajitas then? Excellent :-)

Honey, when aren't you busy? I know you're gonna get LOADS done this year. Don't forget us when you're famous okay.

PS Don't think i didn't notice that less than subtle threat at the end...yes, i will be blogging more :)

PPS You aren't a bad therapist...just a REAL one,hehehe.

@Super: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, is that some strong sarcasm i detect there, lol. Glad to have you back my cynical friend. Hope you're good.

@Myne: I feel better now that know that Nigeria too is plagued with the curse of the "wack weave" :-)

@Karanga: What lessen have we learnt here KC? If it ain't broke...eish, i feel your pain on browning avocado, that has got to be the yuckiest ish ever sha!

How is the wedding planning going? Congrats again musikana *ululates*

KarangaChic said...

Sha Vimbai, when the man thinks he knows best, better to just leave him alone so then I go about the hona manje I told you so route lol but this time it came back and bit my in my ass.
The wedding planning is not going. I seem to be the only person who is not willing to do the whole 3 months before the wedding hustle, zim style. I am too organized for those gwans. You would think after all the whining my mom did for me to settle down she would be on the ball, NOPE. Manje she's on a have a child roll?? HUH?? And the man just grunts so i'm just going to do everything myself quietly and when the time starts getting closer and everybody starts freaking out, I'll just watch them. At least now I can do everything I want without my mom, my mom-in-law and my sis dictating what I should do. Gold dress here I come lol.

Vimbai said...

@Karanga: Eh, and your mum is gangsta! Don't be bullied musikana, especially out of that golden dress. You only have one big day (unless you're Elizabeth Taylor), so make it yours :-) good luck hun.

Gospel Girl said...

Happy New Year Vimbai...
Never had guacamole (always thought the name sounded like an animal, not that I have anything against animals) might give it a try year , new acquired tastes. :)
As for relationship advice, I will gladly leave that to Oprah...
One thing I have learnt and observed in my 20+ years on this green earth is that a lot of times people never listen to what you say anyway so I don't even bother... lol
Scenario Me to X: *Your dude is hitting on other girls*
X : Am gonna drop him immediately...
Three months later X and player dude are still together despite the obvious... and *side eyeing* you for meddling in their affairs...
Moral of the tale : don't meddle in matters of the heart coz the only person who could get hurt is you.
Rudo nderwe vanhu vairi! :)

Vimbai said...

@GospelGirl: Happy New Year back to you sweets. Guacamole DOES sound like an animal...a reptilian one...related to the gecko, lol. Seriously download the recipe or purchase some of this goodness from your local deli.

As for the relationship advice, you've nailed it right there. The messenger WILL get shot, no two ways about it, smh.

Tendayi said...

greetings from Lesotho!

Vimbai said...

*waves back* How goes things in Lesotho?