It was a regular Thursday night, except, ummmm...it wasn't.
It's one thing to find me home on a Thursday night, firmly wedged in the countless cushions on my couch catching
JonasThe News...and quite another to be in a room full of twenty-odd women, getting pole dancing lessons while decked out in all forms of Chinese-imported flouncy accessories. The latter is an outline of how yesterday's evening went.
Disclaimer: I'm talking about pole dancing here, not stripping. Those two things aren't the same, close cousins (twice removed) perhaps, but world's apart. So before some of you get on your high horse, no money was offered for performances (although that would have been nice, i would have liked some spare change), clothes remained on (thank goodness) and LOTS, yes lots, of fun was had by all of sundry (i.e. no animals where harmed during any performances).
Our instructor for the evening was a very young looking blonde chica who was pretty unfazed at having to teach a room full of rather out-going (read: rowdy) ladies pole dancing moves. She came through with the pole, who was eventually named Miguel...and we all got to bond with Miguel.
First up, we were told to choose names. This was met by blinking gazes and then a frenzy of mutterings along the lines of "geez, what kinda name" and "i don't have a name". Funnily, within 5 minutes, everyone had come up with a name...closet alter ego's methinks. Some priceless gems were:
- Golden Sugar;
- Chocolate Thunder;
- The Advocate; and
- (Winner) Never Enough......*dead*
Blondie then took us through some routines, we learnt some tootsie rolls, the flamingo leg lock, a basic swing and some other routine that was nameless but will by "the big finish" going forward. Practice makes perfect, and i am seriously seeing the merits of owning a pole...from a fitness angle of course *coughs*
We learnt all these routines without heels: One really appreciates the finess of those ladies who can execute them in 8 inch clear heels, nogal. It was
We didn't always get it right: Falling, slipping and sliding occured on many occasions, which made for great sources of humour...until it was you on your ass that is. However, we learnt that it's not how you fall, but how you recover that makes all the difference (you'd be surprised how a well placed bum wiggle will fix everything).
We were competitive: For every 3 movements that Blondie taught us in a move, you best recognise, that some of the more out-there ladies threw in an extra 3 movements. I haven't seen as much popping and locking since i last caught a Snoop Dogg music video. Sheer hilarity. I have a sneaking suspicion peeps were downplaying just how much they knew about pole dancing #I'mJustSaying
We got a workout: I made the stupid mistake of wearing high heels to work today. The pain. I'm not walking straight. Parts of me hurt. I'm getting bbm's from other participants about mysterious bruises they're finding on themselves. No wonder strippers look fit...they have to be!
We laughed...HARD: From those who were a tad bit weary, to those who threw themselves into the spirit of things, everybody had themselves a fab time.
Blondie then ended the evening by showing us how it was meant to be done! Gravity was defied many times over and we were more than happy to hand our lesson-money over to her (i lied, some money was indeed exchanged).
Sadly, after having had such a spectacular Thursday night, it's kinda putting undue pressure on tonight's
Holla in the comments your pole dancing experiences or aspirations ;-)