Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Ever-Shrinking Pool of Romantic Talent (ESPORT)

This past week on Twitter i was highly amused by some of the tweets i saw my tweeps exchanging, related to when it's deemed appropriate or inappropriate to pursue a fellow friend's ex. Advice like; "never", "only if you've asked permission from the friend in question" and scientific formulas (not if said ex = relationship lasted more than 6 months within in the last 5 years), where volunteered.

Clearly there's no "easy" solution to this predicament, however, it's not a predicament that's going away anytime soon.

I don't care what country, city or town you currently reside it or the ratio of men to women in these regions, the bottom-line is that demographic locations have are suffering from the worldly chronic problem of ESPORT (Ever-Shrinking Pool of Romantic Talent).

I've been known to refer to Harare as "Sodom & Harare" given the alarmingly increasing rate of ex recyling going on there (some people, who will remain nameless, seem to be the very common denominator in most of these *ahem* transactions). However, having lived in Joburg for two years now, ESPORT is deeply manifested here too.

After you stay in a place everything shrinks; social circles shrink, dating options shrink, hanging spots shrink...i could go on. There's no easy solution to addressing ESPORT, albeit changing geographic locations every couple of years, and this business of "you can't hook up with my ex" doesn't really solve the problem either.

In an ideal world, we'd all be eager to bless the unions of our former flames with our current friends. After all, just because me and my ex weren't a compatible twosome doesn't mean i should stand in the way of my ex and my friend in discovering their romantic compatibility...right?

In the real world, we may be an evolved species but there are very primal territorial traits that all but yell, "Back off if you know what's good for you. I've pee'd (metaphorically speaking, unless you're R Kelly) there. That's MINE."

So what's my proposed solution, aside from suggesting relocation to newer hunting plains? None really. When it come's to matter's of the heart, nothing's ever straight forward innit...

Holla in the comments your thoughts and experiences!


Flags in the City: South Africa has officially gone flag crazy! Streets, cars, people are brightly adorned in flags of the participating nations in the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Yesterday, i paid a visit to the local hair salon and was taken aback by the pretty lady sporting hair extensions in all the colours of the South African flag. If that's not national pride, heck, i don't know what is.

About 3 weeks ago, the only flags you would spot on cars would be the South African one, the only football jersey's you'd see people decked out in would be Bafana Bafana's. Now, in the last few days i've noticed a dramatic turnaround; on Football Fridays people are now wearing the football jersey of the team they're actually supporting and, diplomatically, most cars have two flags...the South African one and the "other" team's flag.

After watching the Champions League final last night, it reignited the anticipation and excitement of the impending World Cup celebrations and activities. It also injected just a teensy bit of dread, HE wouldn't let me change the channel last night...i could got a sneak preview of how remote-control handelling is going to pan-out till July 11th 2010, boo!


Have a great week chickens, remember all we have is RIGHT NOW!


V x
PS I'm messing around with blog templates, yup, it's that time of the year again :-)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Tales from The Land of Oz

I'm sitting by my desk and slowly fading like a Kariba sunset. It's nearly 3pm, however, my jet-lagged body is me that it's 11pm and i should start winding down. Crossing multiple time zones is only for the strong at heart, lol.

Just over 24hrs ago, i was waltzing into OR Tambo after having spent a glorious week in Sydney, Australia. Just over 24hrs ago, my sleep-deprived self was almost reduced to tears on learning that my luggage didn't make it back with me. Just over 24hrs ago i was mentally calculating my next trip back to that side of the world (these calculations involved selling my living room furniture and living off chicken noodles for the next few months).

I wish i had kept a travel journal or something, but that's pushing it really, hahaha. So instead, i will share with you some rather random observations i made while on holiday....i'm sure if i miss vital points Kookie can refresh my memory, she was my Australian hotline counsellor who had to put up with wide-eyed-tourist-type observations (God bless you hun, you were a sport):

1. The men are super tall, like dude-are-you-gonna-fit-in-the-elevator type tall. I’m surprised the Australians don’t have a booming basketball culture, they’d be reaping in that cash!

2. There is no such thing as Australian local cuisine, instead they borrow on everyone else’s culinary influences, with Asian food be the primary dominator in the food market and good ole fashioned English favourites, coming in a close second. I was happy to note that I saw many a Nandos franchise within various suburbs (mmmmmh, yum), but was super sad to see that my all-time favourite Nandos meal, "strips and spicy" rice didn’t feature on their menus (boo!).

3. The city populous is kitted out, from head-to-toe, in fashionable threads, so much so, that you’d think you were living out an ad campaign. Imi ka, they aren't playing around! Sadly, the general price of clothing was enough to give those of us, who live in 12 months of the year in Rand (R) currency, palpitations.

4. I have a distinct feeling that the general Aborigine population within Australia is on the extinction list. On my previous trip to The Land of Oz, a few years back, i did manage to spot them, but in the greater metropolis areas i guess they don’t even feature. They are truly a marginalised people.

The upside is that there’s been a lot of press lately around a new Aussie supermodel of Aborigine origin, by the name of Samantha Harris (not that E! Hollywood presenter). Hopefully, she can raise the profile of her people, for the better.

5. The Aussie accent is definitely NOT contagious, even for an accent slut like myself. You're not going to catch me suddenly proclaiming "how’s you's" anytime soon :-)

6. Coming from a continent where cross racial relationships and interactions always seem to be steeped 300 years of underlying discourse, no matter which way you look at it, it was a breath of fresh air to interact with Australians, less complicated.

7. Australia has a soccer team playing in the World Cup (WC). How did this little piece of information escape me until i got there (don’t judge me..or touch me on my studio, lol). Good news is they're hyping the WC over there and are super excited!

8. Aussie television makes the SABC look good...yup, that bad.

9. Lots of cash, but not so much flash: Not the most materialistic of nations, Aussies prefer to downplay their wealth and play it cool. Spotting any automobile fancier than an Audi was a rarity in itself, it’s very much Honda and Toyota country, people.

10. Rumour has it Aussies pay 50% income tax (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), which is steep... real steep. However, you can really see that all that tax money is being used for something. They say you can’t put a price on “peace of mind”, i think the Aussies have come close...real close.


Other trip highlights included:

Family Reunion: My family was in one place and guess what, it wasn’t Christmas, lol. Geez i miss my people man. This diaspora living business is getting OLD!

John Mayer concert: What that man can do with a guitar is illegal, and that voice *sigh* Sadly, my love affair with this particular character is over. I love his music, but i’m a bit over his persona (you can gloat now Shona!)

Hotel living: If only breakfast everyday was a full-on buffet and room service was a call away, i would be a very happy lady...a very overweight one too, but happy nonetheless. Don’t even get me started on great smelling soap they had in the rooms and the fluffy bathrobes...bliss man, utter bliss.

Partying like a Rock star: Sampled the night life (and many a beverage) in some hiphop clubs in the city, one of which was interestingly located in the middle of the Red District.

Note to everyone: When standing outside of a a red district...and upon hearing Rihanna’s “Rude Boy” blaring from said-club, do NOT start dancing in a suggestive manner and sing-a-long loudly, “Take it, take it.” You’re just asking for trouble ;-)

Tourist stuff: I will never get sick of the Harbour Bridge, the Sydney Opera House however, that i may be a tad bit warried/indifferent about. I frolicked in Hyde Park (why is Hyde Park a posh area, no matter where you are in the world) where the fam and i checked out St Mary’s cathedral and the Art Gallery of New South Wales. Bondi beach was lovely, reminded me of Clifton beach (Cape Town) in the summer.

The Friends: These are the troopers that put up with my calls during work hours or after hours, when they were trying to wind down from a crazy work day. Whether it was arranging our entertainment, feeding us or just making sure my siblings and I experiences the full benefits of Sydney sans parents, these guys pulled through.

That all said and done, it’s good to be home!

There is really nothing like having an entire bedroom and bathroom to yourself. Not to mention, i don’t think i could take another turbulent flight without being tranquilised first.


Chickens, have a safe Phuza Thursday and holla in the comments y’all!


V x

Monday, May 03, 2010

I've been bitten

The travel bug has got's got me good!

Now if only my bank account could match my travelling needs, i would be set for life.

This sudden wish to see it all was revived after a trip to the southern part of Mozambique, Ponta D'Oura, a weekend ago. It's been pissing cats and dogs for the last 3 weeks and what do you know, as i type this, there's a torrential downpour going on, so i didn't have to be asked twice to head off in search of sun and surf!

Being 1/16th Mozambican (my great-grandmother wandered over into Mutare from Mozambique during the late 1890's during some war-conflict) i thought it was high time i had a look-see.

First-off, we road-tripped there and took nine hours...NINE HOURS. For some reason i was under the impression that Ponta D'Oura was a mild 5 hrs away...somehow, i did not factor in crazy pot-holed towns, damn goats loitering on the road and the fact that it isn't a fire drive.

Being the proud occupant of the back seat in the car, i passed the time dozing off or lamenting on how incestuous the natives of small-towns looked. Now i wish i could say we blended in, when we stopped for bathroom breaks or directions, but nope, you can clearly spot Townies a mile away. We're loud, we're brash and we have that Toto-we're-not-in-Kansas-anymore bewildered look on our faces, hehehe.

During the trip i was saddened every time we went through a tollgate...being a tollgate operator must be the LEAST self-actualising job there is out there. Most tollgates are located in the middle of bloody nowhere, they sit in insolated booths all day long and i'm sure they're a constipated lot (i doubt bathroom breaks are encouraged).

Eventually, we reached the border which compared to the likes of Beitbridge (Zimbabwe/South Africa) border is a breath of fresh air. I have never seen such a chilled lot. There were no queues, the immigration agents were friendly, no-one searched was so surreal, i was waiting for an immigration officer to pipe up, "surprise, gotcha!"

Once on Mozambiquan turf, i realised that people weren't joking about the road conditions. It wasn't so much that the roads were bad, more like, there weren't any roads to speak of, just car tracks in undulating sand-dune type terrain. Luckily the whole car ride was less than 15 mins to our accomodation, which was a lovely resort complete with a very tame baby monkey to greet you on arrival.

There were 8 of us, in total, on the trip and days weren't long enough to maximise on the great weather, chilli'd prawns and splashing about in sea. Speaking of the sea, i don't know why i thought i could calmly tread water without having to submerge my chemically straightened hair. That was wishful thinking, 'cause by wave number 4, all hope of keeping the hair dry was lost and i sported a frizzy type 'fro for the rest of the trip.

The only drawback were the mosquitos, no matter how much bug spray and lotion I smeared on myself, the little critters managed to find a random spot on my body that i didn't cover! It's been six days since i got back and i'm still itchy!!!!

Random confession: My random jaunt across the border highlighted my lack of travel on this fine continent of ours. It's extremely embarrassing to admit that i've covered more exotic destinations and haven't really checked out my own backyard, so to speak. So my mission going forward to check-off what i haven't seen of sub-Saharan Africa, which is a great big chunk!

Holla in the comments about your travelling experiences and any affordable holidaying recommendations!



I can be your what? Have you heard R Kelly's latest gem? Seriously, this man ka, he's cheeky. How do you get off singing about how you already have a lady who's number one in your life, but if i'm keen, you can squeeze me in as a Number 2???

Weak! What next...

Justin Beiber: Not sure why there's so much hype over this little fetus? He's a cutie-pie, yes...and he's black-owned (sitting on Usher's record label), but that still doesn't explain why he's been a trending topic for the last 4 months and counting. I also have a hankering suspicion that, that mop of hair/fringe is hiding a monster of a forehead, ka ka ka. Yeah i said it!

Waka waka bleugh: The official FIFA World Cup Anthem suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks! Fellow Tweep @ZimBlackRose summed it up best when she said, and i quote, "it's horrible, kinda like baby talk mixed with sungura guitars."

Out of all the artists to have on the track, the choose Shakira? There are such better songs out there e.g. Jamali's "Mzansi", K'naan's "Wave your Flag", heck even "Make da circle beeeeegah gets my vote at this point!

What say you?


Happy Monday chickens!

I came across the following quote, it's speaking volumes to me at the moment:

"It is never too late to be what you may have been" - George Elliot

Lotsa love and hugs,

V x