In the second week of the third month of the second decade of the (errrrrr) not-so-new millennium, it is with a heavy heart that I must share what is fast becoming obvious.
The world is doomed.
How did my clever self figure this out? No, I did not decipher The Book of Revelations or Nostradamus’s vague scribblings. No siree. The signs where more subtle than that and yet, they were all around us.
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong again.
Earthquakes didn’t factor into my deductions. True, it was impossible not to notice Haiti, Chile, Taiwan, Sumatra and Turkey succumbing to Mother Earth’s severe indigestion (and that fool meteorologist at CNN wants us to believe that none of those ‘quakes are related, *side eye*) and yet, that wasn’t it either.
Ladies and Gents, believe it or not, the omen of the world’s impending end came from none other than the South African edition of Elle magazine, the March 2010 edition.
Yes, they’re back! I’m so very sorry chickens, sooooooooooooooo sorry!
Crikey Moses! Who let these things come back? Shoulder pads…really, COME ON!!!!! The ‘80’s was one fashion faux pas after another, but shoulder-pads are its crowning monstrosity!
When I think of shoulder-pads the following come to mind (all at once too):
- Janet Jackson performing those geometric perfect moves in her Rhythm Nation video;
- Joan Collin’s character in Dynasty decking it out with her blonde nemesis for the charms of some old rich dude - the higher and sharper the shoulder-pads, the more alpha and dominant is the respective female;
- 80's Top of the Pops playing Tiffany’s. “I think we’re alone now”;
- Thriller ( I swear MJ was sporting shoulder pads under that signature red jacket of his); and
- Vultures - their bony, high raised wings definitely give a shoulder-pad effect.
It’s bad enough they bring back those damned harem pants back, but now this!!!! Do these people have no shame *smh*
New lows have been reached, hence my assumption that it’s a wrap!
Holla in the comments, what you believe has been mankind’s biggest fashion faux pas to date (don’t hold back now)
Speaking of the world ending:
Wow, the economy may well be in recovery mode but the people are definitely not in a light hearted mood. In the past weeks I’ve found myself immersed in all things apocalyptic ‘cause it seems to be de rigeur to expect the worst:
Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” – If you can get past the fact that this book has NO punctuation whatsoever, is an extremely short read and the reader never really gets the full story of why the earth has come to the state that it’s in, you’ll be impressed by it simplicity and its poignancy. It’s a book about core human values and survival of the fittest. As bloody morbid and gory as it is, I couldn’t put it down. Have any of you watched the movie?
The Book of Eli – The uber-cool Denzel Washington dominates this movie based on, once again, the world after civilisation has literally taken a hit. He’s on a quest to the West and trust me, nothing’s getting in the way. Just like in “The Road” the common themes of scavengers, cannibalism and morality ring clear.
Mmmmmh, the world needs a SERIOUS hug at this rate :-S
Keeping it Light:
I managed to dilute the abysmal feeling of doom caused by the above movie and book choices with the following:
Karyn Stockett’s “The Help”: Based on black maids personal experiences at the hands of their "madams" in then segregated Mississippi during the ‘60’s. it’s the whistleblower of all whistleblowers. The stories are hilarious, sad and heartfelt.
Golf: I’m a natural. Of course I am, never doubted it for a second. How could I not excel at a sport that encourages me to hit an obstacle as hard as I can, and rewards me for it.
Mr Darcy: I finally have my very own copy of BBC’s version of “Pride and Prejudice.” Don’t speak to me of that appalling version with that Keira Knightley person, we shall not speak of it. Instead, I get to drool over Mr D. and root for the underdog *sigh*
George Wilson: He plays American Football (which I don’t understand) and I didn’t know about him this time last week. But thanks to generosity of a fellow blogger *cough* K, this yummy specimen has been plucked out of obscurity. Go over to her blog, if you're wondering what i'm talking about.
Be kind to yourselves, chickens!