Monday, January 11, 2010

A Monday-Back-To-Work-Argh-Crap State of Mind

Nothing like the first day back at work, after a good three weeks off. to derail you from every good intention and resolution you may have come up with.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is so weak.

That said, i refuse for the first day...week...heck the whole year to derail me from my plans. I just need to get through the next few hours and i'll be dandy :-)

Things on my mind (in no order of priority):

Fiddy Has A Point: I'm scared to check my banking details online...real scared. I know what i'll see and the thought of that alone is enough to have me agreeing with Fiddy's philosophy, "Have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire." The first few months of this year are going to be spent cleaning up the damage committed in the last few weeks of last year. Bad Vim, bad!

Compliments...really: I really hate the expression, "Compliments for the New Year". What compliments? Whose Compliments? I've heard that greeting no less than five times this morning alone. It makes the hairs on my neck stand up, don't ask. Oh and when can we stop wishing people a Happy New Year...this year is already getting long in the tooth, am just saying.

Biting the Bullet: It has to be must be done...and yet i can't bring myself to join the damn gym. I don't particular care that i've put on the seasonal 3 kg's compliments of mama's cooking and the random food bingeing that occurs during the festive period. Nope, what really got me was the lecture from the well meaning ER doctor explaining to me that my lungs really need exercise or he'll be seeing more of me...phooey.

WTF: The Togo soccer team got shot at...the Sri-Lankin cricket team got shot at...why are people making political statements by shooting at sports teams? Sports is meant to be the great equaliser (right up there with alcohol and inflation). Tis a sad, sad day indeed.

Biltong: Mmmmmmmmh. 'Nuff said.


I was home in H-town over the December hols and came up with a few rules, so to speak, for diasporans to maximise on joy and good times in the Sunshine City:

  1. There's always a mission: Remember this rule, memorise it, 'cause you'll definitely need to call on it when you find yourself twiddling your thumbs and looking for some fun times. Not that fun and missions are scarce, no siree, its just that you need to make a bit more of an effort to find them. Only the brave and tenacious are rewarded in such instances - Asipo, haapo!

  2. Don't take yourself too seriously: Natives of my land have been known to get caught up in the whole "scene", what scene you may ask? Good question, 'cause i have no idea who we are meant to be keeping up appearances too. Now if you let go just a little bit and are open to a bit of fun that may border on the ridiculous (impromptu dance competitions and the like) you may actually find yourself have a bit of a giggle and, dare i say it, some fun.

  3. Be flexible: When diasporans venture home, they all want to recapture the nostalgia of yesteryear. If you are one of these people, you're going to be in for a bit of a rude shock. We are the nation that is attributed with having had a currency that changed on a weekly basis, flexibity is our middle name. Now if the good waitress at The Italian Bakery tells you they aren't serving Malawi Shady, no sweat, if you smile sweetly...or plead, she'll make you something similar that's pretty damn good anyway.
  4. Some things never
    Okay, yes things tend to be in a state of constant flux but you'll be surprised at somethings that never seem to change. e.g. Keg barmaids (buxom they may not be but constant they are) and Bob's motorcade passing The Keg on Borrowdale Road at 7:05pm every day without fail - m'dara is working late these days.

  5. You learn a new thing everyday: I had never heard of a USD$2 , or seen one till this holiday. They're supposedly legit, but there you have it, who'd have thunk.

There you have it folks, gems from my travels up North.

Feel free to share any holiday gems or mantras you discovered over your hols. Holla in the comments!

Have an awesome Monday chickens, we've only got another 40-odd left in the year, lol.


V x


Super star! said...

I find the world a highly troubled place when Jay Z's anecdotal phrases, badly done at that, become some sort of informed, profound quotation/mantra. This whimsical dandy chewing gum phrase i must say has to be the worst thing i ever heard this last festive season- Outside of disgusting my tongue by chewing dandy gum.

As for the new year. i don’t see what the fuss is about, when the only thing that changes is the number 2010. If one can’t change their way of thinking I doubt very much some superficial Roman inspired date can change much.

Be that as it may, i hope you find happiness.

Vimbai said...

@super: Dandy bubblegum, mmmmh, not that weird banana flavour they had, that one was yuck.

True, the numbers change but if your mindset doesnt change what is the point.

Hope you have a fabulous year too, grumpy :-)

Kookie said...

I'm SO tempted to fall into the trap of quibbling with Super over the profound nature of a Jay Z quote/mantra but it's too easy...just too easy. Anyway on to the Togo when did playing sport become life threatening. I was unimpressed with this story...and then the Angolan government expects the team to stay (never mind they themselves wanted to stay...noble but crazy).

I love there's always a mission as a rule...that should be a rule for LIFE dhemmit! Many a time I have said to myself this is going to be a crap day/night/event to go to an surprise..the most random unplanned night becomes a Barney type of night...wait for it...AWESOME!

Vimbai said...

@K: Sha the way they're killing that Empire State of Mind on radio stations everywhere...even the Afrikaans ones here, dude, even i'm sick and tired of the song.

There's always a mission man, you must PUSH and then the mission fairy will find favour with you and good times will be had...true story.

PS Tell us more about these Barney-esque nights of yours.

Super star! said...

@ V pout shots will not get Santa back any time soon (the presents not so great??). As for Dandy, i suppose tongues can be classist.
@ K, if some no good government comes and takes over your vegetable garden- and sells the vegetables on your behalf but totally for their benefit you might i suppose be inclined to support the separatist in the quest for self-determination.

As for whatever state of gullible!

munhu said...

nhai mukoma Supa asi makakanyiwa na Father Christmas weGreatermans here? Dai makaenda kune weku Truworths - aipa ma crackers anga aine ma Dandy eyellow !! LOL !!
Super good to "meet" up with you again
@ V true's Bob - the secret to enjoying a holiday in Zim is to be ready to be down for whatever. That USD 2 note was also a marvel for me. I thought I was getting jacked!
oh btw Supa if said government performed thus and you really had cojones why not shoot at one of government rather than pick those that know nothing and have little to do with your lot and are actually unarmed? Bully tactics that changed what exactly? The veggies are still being sold and you seeing nada!

Shona said...

Malawi Shandy - you dearest shona googled it over the holidays,and got bitters, ginger ale n all...gosh i think i'll make some over the weekend..yay something to look forward to :)
Happy 2010 darling et all the good folks who comment on this blog ie Super, munhu, K and all...

Sarai said...

I'm feeling you on "Compliments of the New Year" and "Happy New Year". Nigga it's two weeks down the line - let it go already. Sheesh.

Almost as surprising is how all but sundry - yes, including the team bitch - felt it appropriate to attempt to initiate a hug following the return to work.

Glad to see you're on track and preparing to make things happen.

Anonymous said...

I am loving your H-town tips for diasporians!

Vimbai said...

@Super: Santa and i are always on speaking terms, he delivers and i'm happy :-P

@Munhu: Glad i wasn't the only one wondering WTF when i saw the USD$2! I was waiting for a USD$3 with Barack's head on it to show up too.

@Shona: That Malawi Shandy is the truth shamwari, the secret is in the bitters! Thanks musikana, hope 2010 is treating you swell.

@Sarai: Preach on sista, preach on. The pitter-patter "welcome back" hugs were so awkward. All that good cheer will recede and peeps will be back to their anti-social selves.

@MBLS: Watch this space for my full-blown manual and guide book :-)

Andrea said...

"Compliments of the New Year".. Girl you are funny... it so true.. I hate when i hear this from people.....

Super star! said...


you have put a smile on my face!Indeed i was on santa's lap.

as for liberation of the Enclave of Cabinda guess what, You now know about them. But more importantly the Demagoguery of the Angolian gvt is clear to all.
@Shona...enjoy it, while its still here.

Vimbai said...

@Andrea: You know! What's wrong with saying a simple "Happy New Year?"...i don't even think "Compliments of the New Year" is grammatical correct.

Thabi said...

Aha, figured I could def catch you here!!!
So happy i can finally catch up on all your blog entries plenty to read and plenty of time to do just that! Wonder if I can bring my laptop into exam venues while I invigilate...hmmm :)
Sha re the ER doc, r u serious? Ah, that makes me worried. Meet me in the gym, its going dowwwwwwwn.

Sekuru VaTawanda said...

@vim: ungrateful fussy bugger! its the spirit of the new years greeting that matters not its grammatical correctness. Be careful what you wish for. next year, people are gonna be ignoring you altogether..mark my words/

@kookie, Superstar, MBLS, Thabi, Andrea and Shona: they say that sharing is caring, and to show that i care about all you peeps I'm sharing my blog with you :-) ...


-Sekuru VaTawanda

Vimbai said...

@Thabi: Musikana you have found my hiding place of sorts. Iwe, get back to invigilating...those lighties will be peering over peeps shoulders and passing notes while you surf the net. Actually, now i think about it, lets trade jobs, i definitely want to be you right now.

@Sekuru: Such shameless advertising, tsk tsk. But for real peeps, pay our resident Sekuru-cum-Love-Guru's blog a visit!

Anonymous said...

For K and Munhu