Monday, November 30, 2009

Can't Buy Me Love....


Back at varsity, date auctions where the name of the day. For a solid R300 you could buy the man or woman of your dreams. I particularly loved the original promoting that went on prior to the auctions, one very unforgettable poster proclaimed,

"Money can't buy you love
But who said anything about love?"

This past Saturday i found myself privy to yet another auction in the name of a good cause. The women were out and about in full-force, dressed to kill and having no shy in sizing up the candidates on display.

What was i doing there? Christmas shopping but of course!

I dragged along one of girl friends under the pretence of attending a fashion show (that was a half lie, 'cause there was indeed a fashion show) and on arrival, proclaiming my generosity by sponsoring to buy her the man of her choice. After a quick sussing out session, she was pleading with me NOT to buy her anyone. Boo! Now i must find her another christmas gift.

The men weren't so bad... yes, there was the one guy who looked like he'd crawled out of bed five seconds prior to getting up on the stand. Then there was the uber arrogant one who was male-catalogue-gorgeous but just a teeny bit too full of it...the woman who bidded for him started the bidding so high (R500) and then continued to out-bid herself??!! Weakening.

What did this event teach me?

For the right price, we can all find what we we're looking for...and money provides you with a wider variety of choice *cue Gwen Guthrie's "No Romance without Finance*

Chicken is more my thing but i decided to give Turkey her day. Living up to the hype that American television had built in me, i had my first Thanksgiving lunch. It was one of those meals that i have mentally bookmarked 'cause it was just that good...cranberry sauce, turkey, sweet potate pie, lots of wine and great company.

Controversy aside, those pilgrims sure had the right idea!



Watched it last night.

My thoughts: HOT DAMN, that Jacob is HAWT. No wonder cougars far and wide are swooning over this 17 year old. Those abs, those pecs, it's not right, it just isn't.

Kristin Stewart's acting skills have improved, she's doing that blinking thing less. Rob Pattison is such a boring Edward, if you took a shot of tequila for every time he looked forlorn and broody, ah, you would be crunk 10 minutes into the flick.

New Moon is the most uneventful of the four books but the producer redeemed himself...especially if he's who i have to thank for the no-shirt clause that the main male leads had to obviously agree to in their contracts.

New Moon is a Shirt Free Zone :-)

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Drink lots of coffee and power through what's left of your Monday chickens.

Let's do this (read: Sleep, more sleep).

Love,

V x

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Towel, she's been thrown!



There may still be *quick mental count* 36 days left to the year but i've officially checked out.

What a year, what a year! Rumour has it the recession is over in South Africa as of today...that's pretty impressive considering the States had declared the end of their recession about two weeks ago. I assumed that like everything else, we'd only feel the repurcussions of a non-recession lifestyle around August of 2010 :-)

So after what has been a pretty long and gruelling year and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, it seems only fitting that we give thanks for all the stuff that didn't go wrong. So i know i've given thanks to the usual suspects (God, family and friends) over the last few months, so instead, i would like to give thanks to the unsung heroes.

Here's my "thankful" list, in no particular order of priority:

The 9 to 5 grind: Yes i complain about my job and on some days i believe that my time spent at work is actually my personal purgatory but that doesn't mean i don't have the sense to acknowledge that at a time when people were being retrenched left, right and centre, i still got to keep my job and battle it out with the best of them.

Malva Toffee Pudding with Custard: Having a bad day, need some not-good-for-you food to make you feel full and happy? This is your answer! Forget Nelson Mandela, this pudding is South Africa's national treasure.

Palmolive's Milk & Honey Body Wash: Want to feel like Cleopatra after a long gruelling day at the office? Jump into the shower and lather up with Palmolive's finest. You'll never look at your showering experience the same again!

Prayer: A little bit goes a looooooooooooooooooooooong way! Whatever your woes, the Big Man in the Sky 's emergency hotline is open 24hrs a day...better yet, just holla at him for a chat.

Cuddles: When all those big hot-shots where losing their empires on Wall Street and those big corporations where brought to their knees, i betcha they were all starving for a hug and a cuddle. Granted, that alone wouldn't have got them out of the pickle they found themselves in, but gee whiz, they'd havfe appreciated that small, heartfelt gesture.

Heat Magazine (or your tabloid of choice): Don't judge. This frivilous fluff comes in handy when you need to disengage from the madness.

International Calls: With loved ones scattered around the globe, there's nothing like receiving an international call when you least suspect it. Even if people don't seem to know their time zones from their Cantonese *ahem* these calls are always greatly appreciated and make my day.

Twitter: Want to be amused at 3am in the morning when you can't catch some shut-eye 'cause the dog next door is barking too loud or you drank too much cheap coffee...get on Twitter, its 24hrs, all day, every day. Entertainment guaranteed.

Summer: Yes, everyone looks good in Winter, all buttoned up and distinguished but Summer is the reigning beauty queen here. Need an instant pick-me up (and a tan) park yourself in a sunny spot and bask in the rays kisses (note: Slather on a sunblock of at least SPF15 before doing so, you'll thank me later).

Malawi Shandy's: I'm not sure what goes into this drink, but its yummy and reminds me Saturday afternoons , sitting out on the patio of the Italian Bakery (IB) in Harare watching people pose, hehehe.

Okay, that's my random thankful list. Share yours in the comments, holla!

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This my early christmas present to myself, JM's latest offering.
Listening to a new album is like breaking in new shoes, they may look good but they don't really fit well and kinda pinch but if you keep wearing them, after a while they become old faithfuls. I foresee this album becoming an old faithful but for now we're in the teething stages.

If you're about to break up with someone, in the process of breaking up with someone or just mourning love lost or love yet to be found, buy it....it ain't called "Battle Studies" for nothing.

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Random things floating in my head:

1. Doing a cost-benefit analysis of applying for a MBA program for 2010/2011? Have any of you done an MBA or planning on doing an MBA? What would you consider the best benefits of going through with it?

2. The new-ish 90210 series. Caught a few episodes last night and am of the opinion that some things should be laid to rest...for good.

3. Hiding places: My mother is visiting from Zim in a few days and has a penchant for going through my things. My days of shocking the poor woman are behind me so some unmentionables are going to be needing a new home for a week or two.

4. 2010 Goals: Need to start plotting what i want to achieve in the year coming through, as well as do an audit of the last few months.

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Chin-up chickens, we're nearly there! The silly season is upon us, might as well make the most of it!

Love,

V x

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Channelling Patra!

Ooooh, it’s been a minute!

Okay, so where did I leave off? Oh yes, the office xmas party. Eish, it was as dry as the Namib desert during a global drought with zero chance of precipitation forecast. Yes, that dry. Bless them, they did try but I guess given the obvious downgrade of venue, menu and general entertainment it was fairly obvious that 2009 had been a trying working year and people are glad to be seeing the back of it. I guess I should be grateful that we even got an office party.

Event high-points: The lethal strawberry daiquiri’s being served and winning an office prize for being, ummmm, very tenacious about something I would rather not get into, hehehe.

Event low-points: Not having anywhere to dance or move, we were confined to our chairs for the whole thing. The blatant boss a*s-kissing was so OTT. It was about as obvious as Enrique Iglesius’s mole (pre-laser surgery).

Speaking of Bosses

So Saturday night my girl had a Dance-hall themed extravaganza at her place. My girls and I , being extreme theme-party-wh*res, were dressed in full regalia!

I’m talking short shorts, tight leggings and tops, lots of gold bling, scaffolding for shoes and bright make-up. There was a nagging voice at the back of my head as we got dressed, this voice was trying to remind me not to over do it as the last theme party we’d attended at the party-throwers venue had been more low-key. Suffice to say, the nagging voice was quickly silenced….

Fast-forward an hour later when we are walking into the party expecting to see some scandalousness….only to realise that we might just be the scandalees! The nagging voice in the back of my head was as smug as pie. I can just imagine how bad it looked to the more conservatively dressed looker ons! Luckily as the party progressed we realised we weren’t alone, more “Patra’s” came through…anywho, after a few cups of the delicious punch, we weren’t really concerned.

So about midway into the gig, I’m standing by the kitchen-cum-makeshift-bar area, throwing back some potent punch and attempting newly created variations of The Butterfly when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around expecting to see one of my girls and lo and behold it’s my boss.

*DEAD*

The man is visibly tickled pink. I am visibly mortified. Geez I know Joburg is small, but come on!

I make a lot of effort in the office to appear (read: APPEAR) professional, cool, calm and efficient. For goodness sakes, I wear tweed and pearls! And yet there I stood sozzled, mid-butterfly, looking like….*smh*

Thankfully I’ve been out of the office this whole week so I can save some face, but yah, priceless!

Have you guys every met bosses or work colleagues in the most unlikely settings or situations? Holla your stories in the comments!

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Mama, I Can Count: Two years ago, my baby sister bought me the entire season Gilmore Girls box set from China. Now, I’m a big Gilmore Girl fan. It’s got that perfect blend of feel good fluff and angst that keeps me glued to my seat.

On receiving and promptly opening this box set, I realised that all the writing on the covers of the discs were in Chinese. Weakened beyond disbelief, I promptly put the box set away and didn’t bother myself again…until this past weekend..

With help from Google (God Bless Google) I not only managed to sort the 40-odd discs but can proudly declare that I can now fluently read and count from one to eight in Chinese.

Who’d have thunk?

I’m Positive, “O” Positive, Shaken AND Stirred: Mosquitoes really don’t like me, which I know is a good thing…but WHY don’t they like me (middle child syndrome flaring up here)? It’s so weird, I can be sharing a room with someone or people and they’ll be swatting and cursing and complaining about being eaten alive and there’s nothing going after me!

I have one serious case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) here.




The Lion and The Lamb: If you are in the Johannesburg area, catch this play/musical at Market Theatre in Newtown. Checked it out with some mates on Tuesday night and was blown away. I love its message, seeing as the festive season is literally in our laps. It’s a great reminder of message behind Christmas. Oh and if you aren’t interested in that, just go and check it out for the singing alone. Damn, some people can SANG!!!!

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I’m burrowed under the covers chickens and foresee a night of chick flicks and lots of tea ahead.

Another weekend is upon us, can I get an “AMEN!”

Love,

V x

Friday, November 13, 2009

Kinda like Vegas!


It's that time of the year again, the annual christmas office party happens in t-minus 3 hours on the very auspicious Friday the 13th! Never mind that we're only half way through November and throwing the tinsel and crackers around like its going out of fashion.

Auspicious day indeed! Talk by the water-cooler indicates that this year's function may be strongly boycott (that may have been started by me), sadly the lure of free food won the day and The Revolution with have be to televised on another day.

I guess i can find solace in the simple fact that someone or some people are gonna lose control of their facualties and provide the rest of us with some pure entertainment. At these functions, office discretions always seem to come to a head (thank thee alcohol, the get uninhibitor). Tears are shed, accusations are made, indecent proposals are proposed and laughter rings in everyones ears....or so i hope anyway.

This is the first ever "recession" Office Party, so i suspect it won't be as festive as previous years. The dodge venue is already a dead giveaway that all is not well (from a budget spend point of view).

Hopefully i will have lots to report come Monday morning next week, i'm still waiting for a situation to top my current favourite office party memory from my days of employers-gone-by that involved the company PA declaring very loudly that she suspected the CEO of being gay...to his face...in front of everyone and then proceeding to chunda/throw-up in the corridor *awkward*.

Awww, memories!

What are your favourite office party memories? Holla in the comments!

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In other news:

  1. Shirt-Off: Chick at work is wearing the same top as me and everyone in the office feels its their office-given obligation to notify me of this fact. Serves me right, that's what i get from shopping at Woolies :-)

  2. V is for ....: Only got to bed in the early am 'cause i got carried away watching True Blood, its like a very R Rated version of Twilight. HBO doesn't hold nothing back man. 2009 is definitely the year of the blood suckers and i'm definitely on this bandwagon.

    I will be getting my New Moon on sometime next week, finishing the rest of True Blood over the weekend (hectic schedule permitting), checking out that Vampire Diaries and hopefully find a willing participant on whom to practice my love-biting on, am just saying.


  3. Crackberry: Can't put mine down, can't stop chatting, can't stop checking EVERYTHING. The madness must stop or i'm gonna lose friends and loved ones.

  4. Homesick *sigh*

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Tag, i'm it!(Thanks to Zimchic for nominating me)

Here are the rules:

1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

The Survey

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk
2. Your hair? Braided
3. Your mother? Compassionate
4. Your father? Hilarious
5. Your favorite food? Indian
6. Your dream last night? Vampire
7. Your favorite drink? Vodka
8. Your dream/goal? Creativity
9. What room are you in? Office
10. Your hobby? Many
11. Your fear? Violence
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Boss-lady
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something that you aren’t? Patient
15. Muffins? Lemon
16. Wish list item? Emancipation
17. Where did you grow up? Harare
18. Last thing you did? Call
19. What are you wearing? Purple
20. Your TV? Friend’s
21. Your pets? None
22. Friends? Comedians
23. Your life? Stagnant
24. Your mood? Chilled
25. Missing someone? Always
26. Vehicle? Toyota
27. Something you’re not wearing? Watch
28. Your favorite store? @Home
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Minutes
31. Last time you cried? Oprah
32. Your best friend? Inspirational
33. One place that I go to over and over? Bathroom (?!)
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? Gonzo
35. Favorite place to eat? Parkhurst

I suspect that my nominees have already done this, but there’s no rule against re-nominating someone right. So I call on:

Shonavixen
Lu
K (visit her new blog, glad to have you back musikana!)
Tres Enchante
Daughter of Eve
Hadassah

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Happy weekend chickens, try and be good!
Love,
V x

Monday, November 09, 2009

The One About The Naartjie & The Bar

When I received the SOS sms from a friend calling for drink companions on Friday evening, I responded in real-time. The last two days of last week were a mess, a horrible mess: the kind of days that only copious amounts of alcohol can shed in good light.

Being the cheap date that I am, it was no surprise that I was extremely tipsy within consuming half a glass of something pink and bubbly. Geez we had fun. Hysterical giggles and random outbursts from us kept the bar crew greatly entertained. Our spoken language skills had deteriorated to that of a verbal dyslexic or as Zimbo’s would call it, chopes**! The chopes were so priceless I found myself tweeting them, good times.

It was round about this time that I spotted them. A varying display of fruit splendidly displayed at the back of the bar counter. Before you could say, “Vim, get it together we’re in a posh bar” I’d asked a rather bewildered waiter to hand me a naartjie* and proceeded to nonchalantly peel it, right there, by the bar.

Eh, yah. Not a good look.

Thankfully, my friends realising the consumption of carbs was long overdue, proceeded to usher me to the dining part of the establishment before I asked for more fruit, lol.

Luck would have it that the restaurant was offering delicious Bombay Gin cocktails, suffice to say that as we had started our drinking escapades early, the night was but a baby by the time my head hit the pillow.

Moral of the Story: Ask for Naartjies to take home instead J

*Naartjie: I think they’re called Tangerines in other parts of the world.
**Chope: The erroneous pronunciation of words mostly, but not always limited to, those found in the English Language. See attachment below for other examples (hope you can read it, i can't seem to make it any bigger)


Aphrodisiac, my bum: There are certain foods that I’ve never understood the hype about. Cavier is one of them and I’ve recently added oysters to the list.

I was force-fed my first and last oyster this past Saturday at the over-priced Johannesburg Food and Wine Festival. What’s so great about slurping back what feels like a chunk of snot sprinkled with Tabasco sauche?! Seeing as I am not a fan of mussels and oysters are first cousins with the mussel family, I should have seen it coming.

Don’t get me started on figs!

Pretentious food I believe in: Escargot/snails - give me those any day! Oh and lobster…and duck/quail what what.

As for aphrodisiac type foods that get you in a saucy mood…well, let’s just say some of us don’t need food to get us in that particular mood…am just saying, lol.

Seriously though, what’s constitutes “sexy” or “sex inducing” food anyway? Holla in the comments.
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Quentin kani: Caught the much talked about latest offering by Quentin Tarintino, “Inglourious Basterds” and was speechless. The man knows about gore and doesn’t shy away from disturbing scenes. In the same breath, he can draw out the suspense in a scene to a point at which as a viewer you want to scream, “Let me out of my misery already!”.

Inglourious Basterds was Quentin’s take on how Hitler and his cronies met their demise. I suspect Jews everywhere are cheering at his version of what went done in the end. Kudos to him for re-writing history and abstaining from the temptation of making it a clich├ęd happy tale that Hollywood is fond of churning out.

Check it out if you haven’t had a chance, and if you have seen it, what did you think?
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Other mentionables:

- I watched and re-watched Rhianna's interview with Barbara Walters and there was something a little off about it. Since the beat down incidence i've been solidly Camp RiRi and still am, but after catching the interview, i really am questioning her motives about finally speaking out. She seemed mostly defensive and kinda reluctant, like someone had put her up to it. Mmmmmmh.

What you think?

PS I love how when people want to look all respectable, they wear turtle-necks, lol - hilarious.

- Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Chelsea - that's all i am saying, lol!

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Seven Mondays to go till this year is out, can you believe it!

Have a fun one chickens!

Love,

V x

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Something about nothing...

Pie for breakfast....mmmmmmh.

Hill-billy Roots:

So i sorta killed Jigga's "BP3", like if i hear one more song off it, i will scream. It's been all i've listened to in the car for the past 3 weeks straight, that is, until i paid the local music store a visit over the weekend to buy...*gulp* Taylor Swift's latest offering.

Don't roll your eyes at me! I was on her ish before Yeezy decided to steal her spotlight. I was curious about what else she could do which resulted in me stalking into the store, hovering around the pop/rock section pretending to look undecided, then pouncing on the CD, paying for it and rushing out of there before being spotted.

I used to think i hated country music, but its that Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers generation i can't stand. Then again, you won't catch me bopping to Tim McGraw or Garth Brooks. However, of late i 'm becoming partial to a little Dixie Chicks, Carrie Underwood and now Ms Swift.

It's a hoot!

The implications of bourgie living:

Soooooooooooooooooooo, it just dawned on me this morning that short of handwashing a few things on a weekly basis, i haven't actually done my own laundry in....yah, i'm actually too shy to give you actual figures and dates.

It's been that long.

One of the joys of sub-saharan Africa is that almost everyone is entitled to having a maid. Back home, most households have live-in ones, but here in the City of Gold, full-time help is a privilege for the very, very, very elite. The rest of us mere mortals make do with someone coming in once a week to spruce things up and do laundry....i loath ironing.

Not that i was, but i won't be taking "having help" for granted ever again. Next time i think my life sucks...i will remember that i don't do laundry :-)

Earthquake rocks city, work-related activites postponed till February 2010:

You know works bad when you find yourself conjuring up hypothetical scenarios like, the entire country being infected with a mild strain of highly contagious measles or a tropical typhoon that doesn't actually kill anyone, but requires that work shutdown for at least 3 months.

On the up-side :

  • I've stuck with my exercise regime for the last two weeks. I'm pretty darn impressed with myself, here's hoping i can keep this up:
  • The jacaranda's look so pretty - the whole city is bathed in lilac shades:
  • We're that much closer to December, which means holidays, which means family time, reunions with friends and sleeping in time too; and,
  • It's Thursday, need i say more.

Have a good one chickens!

Love,

V x

Monday, November 02, 2009

Sometimes...


bad, sad things happen:

When i heard the wailing cry i just knew that something wasn't right. I knew that someone was dead. Nobody can emit such a sound unless in the deepest throes of grief and loss.

In boarding school i dreaded that sound. Every year without fail a sombre relative would come to deliver news to an unsuspecting student that a parent, sibling, close relative or friend had passed on. Then you would hear it, that cry.
The kind of cry that makes the hairs on your neck stand up. The cry that we secretly hope is not catching and does not find its way to us.

Saturday night, i heard that cry.

The caretaker of the complex where i stay was gunned down in a senseless mugging, no less than 20 feet from my complex gate.

His widow's grief was made known to us all.

R.I.P Solly

we have to start somewhere:

During the Sunday church service i attended a man stood before his community, family and friends and asked for their forgiveness.

He did not make any excuses for his actions, no detailed backdrop was provided to explain as to how he'd got to such a low point in his life and committed such a heinous deed.

Instead he acknowledged his actions, owned them and spoke the tale of his road to recovery, enlightenment and forgiveness that had led him back to the very community that he had torn himself apart from through his actions.

How do you begin to ask for forgiveness for murdering your parents? Forgiveness from God, the deceased, from yourself, your loved ones and your community...how do you begin?

You just do. You start and you never stop asking.

This man shamed me, not because of what he had done, but rather because he highlighted what i was not prepared to do. Here he stood in front of people still harbouring anger, pain and resentment and he still asked for the impossible, had the courage to try and express his regret and rehabilitation...and here i am, refusing to let go of the petty grievances i harbour against others and through sheer cowardice, avoid to initiate the necessary conversations required to begin the healing process.

We must try.

We must start.

we just don't get our way:

How do 460 tickets get sold out in 1 minute? Internet connectivity in South Africa is decent but i sincerely doubt that those tickets, the tickets for a certain Ms Winfrey's show scheduled to occur on 30th November 2009, sold out to consumers on-line in less than a minute. The promoters claim no pre-bookings or pre-sales occured prior to the tickets becoming available online. Women stood in queues in their numbers only to be turned away when not even one person had been able to purchase a ticket.

Foul play is suspected from my end.

*shrug* Twas too much to ask perhaps, that things go as they are said to go.

monday's don't entirely suck:

Meetings are upbeat. The day does not drag. Deliverables are completed. The hot chocolate machine out-does itself with the foamy froth fluffed to perfection.

it all comes together and you just know...you know?!

Feel free to share your "sometimes" in the comments.

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Less than 3 hours till this Monday is officially done and i may just be a teeny bit sad to see the back of it. Things went the way they should and i am glad.

I will now nurse my lemon ginger tea while the rain serenades me and i attempt to keep sleep at bay (an exercise in futility).

Sleep tight chickens,

Love,

V x