Friday, October 16, 2009

It's Rex Manning John Mayer Day

The day after one's birthday is such an anti-climatic event.
After the fairytale night of wining and dining on my bhava-day, coming into the office is feeling like such a non-event. I am sipping on a sugar-free Red Bull courtesy of a very intuitive co-worker, according to him, i look like sh*t.

Random side note: This sugar-free Red Bull is very very suspect.
I'm looking at the ingredients: Glucuronolactone, Xantham Gum, Taurine...and all i hear is "liquid heroin". Oh and how can you proclaim to be sugar-free if you include ingredients like "caramel" and sweetners in just saying.

So where was i again?

Ah yes, I hate the day after your birthday. I feel like the runner-up beauty queen, i feel like Jacob before he swindled Esau of his birthright, i feel like how Joe Bidden must feel everday....
Ah well, here's to another 364 days and counting.

Today isn't a complete waste of a day 'cause it my future baby daddy's birthday today, yaaaaay. Why do i know this...ummm, well cause i probably know WAY to much about this man than is probably healthy, hehehe.

So i've managed to fight my stalker instincts and not send him a happy birthday tweet (the older i get, the more i must resist my groupie tendencies). Instead i will wish him a happy birthday from the safety of my blog and list my favourite John Mayer tracks, in no order of priority.

Feel free to holla your fave JM tracks if you're a fan....and if you aren't a fan, what the hell are you waiting for mheni, get on this train already!

The List:

  1. Comfortable
  2. Stop This Train
  3. Something's Missing
  4. Daughters
  5. Back to You
  6. Bigger than my Body
  7. In Repair
  8. Split Screen Sadness
  9. Vultures
  10. Say


Compensated what? Did any of you read the article on CNN about school girls and grown ass women in Hong Kong having sex with strangers in exchange for money that is used to buy them stuff that a) either their parents aren't getting them or b) stuff their peers have and they want too.

Now i don't know why the article doesn't just call a spade, a spade. The last i heard, any monetary exchanges in favour for sexual favours is called Prostituition. They want to sugar coat the situation and call it "compensated dating", huh, nice euphemism but we ain't buying it.

The authorities have a big problem on their hands, something's very broken with the family unit if you notice your 14yr old come home, blinged to max and don't suspect anything of it. These girls wouldn't have a chance in hell if they'd be raised by an African mother.

Firstly, they would have already been thrashed into the middle of next week, sent to extra bible studies or confession, sent to the bhundu's/gwasha's to chill with their grandparents till they knew what's what...then thrashed somemore and had their movements monitored going forward till the year 2097.


Let me get back to work...or attempt to look like i am working ;-)

Have a wonderful weekend chickens!


V x


K said...

Haaa I sensed there would be a John Mayer post having marked my calendar of all worthy birthdays...

Im'a let the future baby daddy remark go because its your b'day month...

weird coinky-dink but our other man Jigga was born in Dec 3 days before me....#imjustsayin there could be some numerology to be looked at in groupie & star pair & Jay, you & John..hmmm

You are taking b'day celebrations the wrong way...this is your MONTH no wonder there is a slight come down! :-) When you were born your parents counted your growth by days & weeks (oooh she's 3 days old, ahhh she's 2 weeks etc etc) and prior to your bith it was (ooh only 1 month 2 go, 2 weeks, 5 days)...its only now people count by years...RECLAIM your birthday month!

Vimbai said...

K, K, K!

Now any TRUE jigga fan would know his bday is on Dec 4, hehehe, girl talking about Dec 3, pssssssssssssh.

But i like your numerology what what analogy. You could have been talking bout tea leaves and i'd buy it just as long as it means JM and I are destined *sigh*

But for real, i must claim back my's mine mheni - 15 days more of full-on Oct swagger!

Anonymous said...

@vim: that is not correct. why is Midlands State University called Midlands Sex University in zim? girls from zim universities sell shags too vim, under these so called 'dating arrangements' (the whole 'small house' thing originated from that practice)... there is even a former miss zim (initials LM) who's having her rent paid by some real estate mogul (initials PC) and everyone sees it as normal here. I was shocked by all this stuff when i came back, but now i see no big deal with all of this.

and...., if you knew what some zim girls (from good zim families) are doing in the diaspora to earn an extra buck you'll be shocked. you probably know some zim peeps in the UK, ask them... if they deny any knowledge of these shenanegans they are probably involved in the casting of some kinky movies. a lot of zim guys in the uk don't date zim women anymore... even the most prudish looking zim women are involved in some shady stuff there. (don't get me wrong, I am not saying that zim men are innocent... they also do such stuff).

you're too out of touch with whats happening vim!!! its dangerous to be that out of touch!

as for john meyer just tweet him.. you may be lucky you know, really lucky... just don't date him for monetary compensation if you succeed, because you'll be sent to the bhundu's/gwasha's to chill with your grandparents till you knew what's what...then thrashed somemore and have your movements monitored going forward till the year 2097.

-sekuru vaTawanda

Myne Whitman said...

John Mayer, drools. HBD to him, I can see you had fun on yours.

Compensated dating, it's already happening in Nigeria. It's called Aristo when the guy is older but otherwise, at least 70% of all sexual relationships are based on that premise. There have been some studies about it too. Google transactional sex Africa.

K said...

eeeh V can I make a correction! I wrote that his birthday is in Dec, 3 days before mine... I forgot the comma though...eish this woman so ready to knock me off number 1 groupie spot for incorrect info lol you know I KNOW his bethiday is dec 4! p.s Keri Hilson in BBA4 house...I have died of envy and bypassed lucifer...those lucky sods

Lu said...

Ummm, I really dont have anything to add onto this particular blog for obvious reasons...But there is a link i think you might all find interesting. John Mayer fans..Brace yourself

Deedza said...

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go away, it should
But I know the heart of life is good
-John Mayer

we're never gonna win the world
we're never gonna stop the war
we're never gonna beat this
if belief is what we're fighting for
-John Mayer

Saka Vim me and John are getting married in 2012, i just thought it fit to tell you that you will be an honoray bridesmaid

So whats your take on his new song?

Anonymous said...

Red bull yakaipa! I can testify! Last year I was addicted to that stuff and it started affecting my stomach! I am now trying to drink coffee for that extra boost!

ShonaVixen said...

Shona walks in...sees John Mayer..and walks off!!

Vimbai said...

@Sekuru: Okay okay, i'm not as naive as i sound. Yes, i've heard the countless stories about how double-jointed country men and women in the adult industry, tis very sad.

I guess it's just easier to point across the pond and say, "Oooh look at how f'd up they've got it."

PS John Mayer could get it from me for compensation necessary!

@Myne: I've asked my Naija compadres about Aristo...started off a lovely healthy debate there.

@K: Hehehe, you're forgiven! As for the BBA peeps getting to meet Keri, eish, i'm too jealous to comment any further although i got my fix last night.

@Lu: Haaaaaaaaaaaa, you're such a hater, lol.

PS True Mayer fans like myself already know about that photo...real time even, he twittered about it and no, those marks weren't provided by men.

Vimbai said...

@Deedza: YOu have jokes...2012 is it...well i'll get a head start and get him for 2010.

I listened to the Heart of Life this weekend, i tend to overlook it but after reading the lyrics you posted, i really like it. So thank you for that.

I haven't heard his new song, "Who Says"...mmmh, i should get on it. What are your thoughts though?

@MBLS: You just traded in heroin for crack cocaine (red bull vs coffee) :-)

@Shona: One of these days, you'll come around'll come around, mark my words *evil laugh*