Monday, August 24, 2009

Stomp that Divot, Girl!

When friends suggested I go and check out the South Africa vs Canada Polo Invitational with them, I couldn’t help but have larney daydreams involving me in some polo-esque get up (think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman flaunting that timeless brown and cream polka dot creation), schmoozing under some marquee and attempting to improve Zim-UK relations with Prince Wills, while giving that Middleton chick the evil side-eye.

Come Sunday morning, there i was, all prettied up and raring to go, only to be informed by my very wise mate that a) Hypothermia was a high possibility in what I was wearing, or rather, not wearing and b) Prince William would not be attending (he apparently had better things to do, hmmph).

Are any of you polo fans?

Prior to the match yesterday, I didn’t have a clue of what to expect, other than men on horses brandishing lacrosse-styled sticks and chasing after a little ball. That little picturesque notion was quickly dashed when after 10 minutes of play I was ready to run on the pitch and plea on behalf of the horses and tell the riders they were out of their damn minds!

To say this sport is dangerous is putting it lightly; the speed, the aggression, the poor little horses, complete with braided manes, getting pummelled by recklessly wielded mallets and ball….I was finished.

I blame the lethal doses of Sangria I imbibed that afternoon with the deadly combination of sitting in the blaring sun for my heightened emotional state. To say I was cooked is putting it lightly (read: cheap date).

Thankfully, there were other things to distract me from the match and the alcohol, one them being the varying degrees of outfits on display! Oooooh, some ladies got it very right with their neutral toned figure hugging dresses, wide brimmed straw hats and cute heels. Bravo ladies! And then…eish, then there were the other ladies who instead of channelling Ascot or the like, were clad in offensively bright or sheer club-diva outfits = Epic Fail.

Another distraction involved my girls and I trying to figure out why the players weren’t 20 something swarthy looking Latino types with cheekbones that could cut-glass? Jilly Cooper, you bare-faced liar! It seems that the average age for most players is 40 and all that exposure to the sun and elements can do bad, bad things to one’s skin. Always wear sun screen kids.

I walked away with only one unbusted polo myth yesterday, and that was, those players had some serious buns of steels. Can I get an Amen!?


Leave Caster Alone: So she has no boobs, an 8-pack, facial hair and a deep baritone voice, She’s still a chick…right!? Until the results prove otherwise, any speculation surrounding Ms Semenya’s gender leanings are just that, speculation.

Sure, it doesn’t help that her parents gave her an extremely ambiguous, gender-less name; a simple Caroline Semenya or Crystal Semenya would have added some much need softness to her overall demeanour.

I am also quite surprised that in her professional career to date, that some sort of examination or medical certification hadn’t been conducted to refute any subsequentmanly allegations (she’s supposedly put up with this kinda controversy and confusion all her life).

It’s just so sad that in the wake of her impressive athletic victory, all that training and sacrifice has been eclipsed by gossip of whether she’s a woman or not.

Poor Caster *smh*

--------------------------------------------------------

Ooooooh, Monday is nearly over chickens, and there are approximately 7 days left till Spring is officially here *sigh*

The glass is well and truly half-full :-) Have a great one!

Love,

V x

Sunday, August 16, 2009

There's No Place Like Home...

Just got back from a week long trip in the motherland.

Going home for me is always a mixed bag of emotions. When away from home all i want to do is go back, once there, all i yearn for is the very place i was trying to get away from. Clearly, there's no pleasing me.

My trip got off to a rocky start, literally! The turbulence experienced during the flight home was out of this world. For a relatively short flight (1hr 45mins) this route (johannesburg to harare) always has its fair share of drama. This time round, about 15mins from landing in H-town some se-ri-ous turbulence was experienced. The plane shook and rolled like a dance-hall diva auditioning for a Sean Paul video.

If that wasn't enough, the exit signs on the plane then came on! I mean...wtf?!!! Exit to where at 33 000 ft?!!! I don't think i've ever prayed so hard...or fast, thankfully, someone must have heard me as touchdown on home soil was eventually accomplised.

Some Highlights:


  • The most sublime weather ever! I got my summer bunny on, they don't call it the Sunshine City for nothing you know.

  • Catching up with my family and chomies.

  • Getting to watch soon-to-be released movies due to the lack of piracy laws in my sovereign nation, you gotta love it.

  • Being fed by my mumsy after being accused of being too thin (i love how african mothers always think you are too thin).

  • Bonding with my dad whilst watching some golf highlights that i am feigning interest in, all the while, secretly perving over Tiger Woods *phwoar*

  • Waking up when i want and going to sleep when i want, with loads of time in between to do whatever the heck i want...

  • Seeing fully stocked shelves in the supermarkets.

Some Lowlights:

  • Feeling like the whole country is stuck in timewarp...it still feels like 1997!

  • Feeling like i've missed the bus as i am neither married, engaged or pregnant (peeps are breeding big time!).

  • Crawling behind a car that insists on driving at 40 km/hr in a 70 km/hr zone and doesnn't have the courtesy to give way to faster moving traffic (read: me).

  • Converting USD$ prices into Rands and realising the large sum of money I've just parted for an item or meal that that should really be priced at least a quarter of the going price.

  • Random electricity and water cuts at inopportune times *sigh* - we still have a long ways to go.

  • Getting severe Internet withdrawal symptoms...it was touch and go there for a bit, but i am glad to be back online, lol.

All in all, i am fully refreshed for the next few months and feel like i gained a fresh perspective on a few things.

Where is home for you and what's your favourite thing about it?

Home Is So Sad (excerpt)

Home is so sad. It stays as it was left,
Shaped in the comfort of the last to go
As if to win them back. Instead, bereft
Of anyone to please, it withers so,
Having no heart to put aside the theft.

Philip Larkin

--------------------------------------------

Happy Monday chickens, may your week be alive with possibilities!

Love,

V x


Friday, August 07, 2009

I'm Every Woman

"I'm a black ocean,
leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling
I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise."

Maya Angelou

Happy Woman's Day to all the lovely ladies on blogville and in the world-at-large for this Sunday!

I was mulling over what angle to come from with this post? Trying to define what makes a woman a woman is complex in itself, kinda like women (yah, i said it!). Whitney Houston's song, "I'm Every Woman" kept coming to mind and the lyrics kept jumping out at me, especially when she declares, "It's all in meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

I believe to celebrate women is to celebrate life.

I am sitting in the office looking around and realise that the 30-odd people surrounding me (eish, open plan offices) are all here because some 30-odd womenout there spent a good few hours in lots of pain to bring them into the world.

These same people have had grandmothers, mothers, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, wives/partners shape their lives on some level.

A woman wears a lot of hats, she is the care-giver, the teacher, the nurturer, the discplinarian, the comforter, the muse, the care-taker, the jester...our roles are endless.

Share in the comments your thoughts on what characteristics and traits (aside from the *ahem* obvious) make a woman, a woman in your opinion.

"This is a man's world
This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing
Without a woman or a girl."

James Brown

-------------------------------------------

AWESOMENESS: Did Neil Patrick Harris know what he had created when he adopted the role of Barry Stinson in the show How I Met Your Mother? Not since the days of Steve McQueen has an openly gay actor portrayed a voracious heterosexual male with the libido of a harpy and the likeability of a Girl Scout. So loved is this fictional character that this coming Thursday, 13th August 2009, marks “International Suit Up” day in his honour.

For some AWESOME Barney quotes, check out my boy Lulu’s recent blog post that quotes some of Mr Stinson’s hilarious and more famous, one-liners.

Don’t know what I am talking about? Cleary you have been living under a rock…so do yourself a favour, get hold of Season 1 – 4 and enjoy the goodness.

PS I could totally date Ted in HIMYM…am just saying :-)

-----------------------------------------------------

Have a fabuloso weekend chickens celebrating; the woman that you are, the women in your life, the women that raised you, the women that inspire and the women that challenge you.

Love,

V x

Monday, August 03, 2009

Rambunctious recollections & Irie-ness


Christmas is usually a hot, humid affair for those of us southern-hemisphere dwellers.

It's a far cry from the snowy, wintery depictions fed to us by Hollywood and the like.

Year in, year out, we sing about Jingling bells and dashing through the snow and all sorts of things that mean NOTHING to us. We've tried to adapt some carols to match our seasonal limitations, you may have heard the "10 Days of Christmas" remix which goes a little something like this,

"On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me,
a crow in a Baobab tree."

What a classic!

So anyway, i decided to throw a Christmas in July party at my place over the weekend so we could experience the frosty chill togetherness of this festive event...(read: I just wanted to throw a party and my favourite colours are green and red, so what the heck). Twas a festive gathering indeed. My place was decked out in full red, green and gold regalia. It was downright gaudy, as i kept telling people, "It looks like Christmas threw up in my place." The drinks flowed, the food was chowed and gifts where exchanged...some dodgy ones even (handcuffs anyone).

All in all, the night was a resounding success and i can't wait for December, for a repeat performance...

Just not at my place.

Do you know the mess that ensues when green and red streamers mix with spilt wine and get dragged across cream tiles? Wow, it was a disaster! The carnage was real come Saturday morning, after much procrastination i decide to draw on the domestic teachings of my mother (yes mum, i actually was listening when you were stating the finer points of floor scrubbing) and rid my place of its red/green alcoholic hue and generous spritzing of tinsel.

Where were my helpful friends at this point, you may ask? As T.I.'s song goes:

"I turn my head to the east,
I don't see nobody by my side.
So i turn my head to the west,
still nobody in sight."

Moral of the story: Stay clear of colourful streamers, remove the carpet before hand and make sure the maid is coming in the next day!

--------------------------------------------------------

Ja maican'ing me crazy! This Thursday, Jamaica celebrates its independence, or rather is emancipation (you have to say that word in a Jamaican accent, its fantastic). I spent yesterday in the company of my caribbean chomies learning all about what being "Irie" entails.

Being the accent slut that i am, i think i may have even started talking like them, lilting tones and everything! It was great mascarading as a Jamaican, i had given myself the name, "Marcelline" and was scoffing on fish cakes like my life depended on it. Sadly, i was ousted when it came to real introduction time, there's nothing Jamaican sounding about the name Vimbai, apparently.

My consolation was that everyone thought my name sounded exotic (clearly they haven't met the other 1 million Vimbai's frolicking on the earth's surface!).

Either way, i love all Jamaican folk and wish them a very happy and Irie independence!

One Love

----------------------------------------

Chickens, have an awesome, lekker Monday and behave ;-)

Love,

V x