Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Puttin' On The Ritz

“If you’re blue
And you don’t where go to
Why don’t you go where fashion sits?
Puttin’ on the Ritz”

The “Ritz” in this instance would be the Arise African Fashion Show currently being held in Jozi till this Friday (20th June). The event is show casing Africa’s finest designers and let me tell you, the continent is brimming with talent y’all!

I was quite disappointed to notice that Zimbabwe was not represented at the show. I am not sure what that’s about, but then I've recently concluded, “Duh, they’re waiting for me innit.” – now if I could get past my current “sewing a zip” frustrations in my sewing class, I would be on the fast-track to stardom. On a serious note, I KNOW Zim is teeming with designer talent and quite frankly don’t understand the lack of representation…mmmmh.

I was hoping to catch the Sika show, their stuff is fan-ta-bu-lous, but sadly couldn’t get any tickets. Thanks to my friend D, who managed to rustle up some free tickets for Sunday’s show, were I caught the Martinique* designer, Paul Herve Elisabeth. His summer themed collection that brought the Caribbean vibe to chilly Jozi made me wish it was summer already *sigh*
*Side-note: Up until about 72hrs ago, i didn't even know there was a country/island called Martenique...eish, i need to reacquaint myself with an atlas!

Things that stood out for me at the show:

1. Some people were dressed like they were trying to upstage the designer and/or the models. What’s the point of getting all tarted up if noone is actually paying you any attention?

2. There was a pack of mohawk’d, dapper-inspired, vertically-challenged boy-men at the show. Supposedly, they’re a jozi fashion show staple. Twas the darndest thing; there were so many of them, I couldn’t tell if I was looking at a new boy-man or one I’d already seen, lol.

3. I didn’t get the memo which would have informed in that a pre-requisite to attend these shows is to speak in French ‘cause EVERYONE was parlez’ing their francais. It sounded so cool that I was content eavesdropping just to hear those sexy lilting tones.

4. A model is only as good as her walk. If her walk is wack, you end up focusing more on that than what she’s wearing. I’ve watched enough FTV and even attempted that coltish-baby giraffe walk to know it isn’t easy, but if that's your profession, you must at least try and look like you know what you are doing.

There was one model who was straight up limping, in the beginning my mates and I thought she was on some gangsta steez, but no, she was limping, eish – occupational hazard perhaps?

5. The way to get into any VIP area is to walk in there like you belong there…or just wait until there’s a mad dash by people that those manning the VIP entrance are so overwhelmed they let you in anyway :-)


Fascinating Rhythm: I was coerced into attending a Zumba dance class at one of Richard Branson’s gyms yesterday evening. Given my aversion to all things gym-related, I must say that I was impressed by the class. Lordy, I was gasping for my inhaler after an hour of gyrating suggestively, hopping around and channelling Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” dance moves – the trainer was a slave-driver.

Thankfully, I was also kept thoroughly entertained by watching the puzzled and intrigued faces of people walking past the class, especially when the gyrations became downright raunchy!

Spud’s Back: I picked up the 3rd instalment in John Van De Ruit’s “Spud” series called, “Spud - Learning to Fly.” It had me howling in laughter and shaking my head in disbelief. The book makes me nostalgic for boarding school as it reminds me of a time when having to evade the wrath of prefects and matrons, after being caught talking after lights-out, was one of my biggest concerns.

Even if you never went to boarding school, pick up a copy anyway, it won’t disappoint!

So Long, Farewell: As predicted Ella flat-lined on me over the weekend and now I am using a dodgy replacement that is so wack I am afraid to bring it out in public. It is so basic a phone it can only save 10 smses at a time, i can’t access internet on it and i can’t change the ring tone… why did Vodafone even bother making it?

The good news is that hunt for a new phone is now on, the bad news is that I won’t be joining the Berry wagon anytime soon coz the prices are just plain outrageous (I mean SERIOUSLY, it’s a phone, not a new kidney!). I am feeling more inclined to go with another Samsung model, after all, Ella did love me long-time.


Okay, let me summon the energy to prepare myself mentally for my return to work tomorrow, eeeek. Just when I was starting to get into this 4-day weekend routine!

Stay smiling chickens!


V x


K said...

Im currently in quarantine for the swine flu (my brother has it) so am saving this post to read later...trying to stack up the things I can do. So...I'll be back...

Vimbai said...

WHAT?! Goodness, i hope your brother gets better soonish and that noone else in your family has got it. How scary chica, stay strong!

Now your latest tweet makes a lot more sense.

Just a question: If you are quarantined, i know you can't leave the house etc but what other precautions are you subjected to? At least the world wide web is at your disposal!

K said...

Envy @ you even going to an African fashion show. All joking aside when you do bring out your own line dhemmit I want first dibs!

check out this girls clutch designs...

shame about Ella..may her vibrating soul rest in cellular peace where there is no need for coverage... he he..cooornnnyyy!

Well they don't want you leaving your house, cover your mouth, sanitise your hands and space where you touch stuff and the rest is flu advice. But you are put on a register of swine flu people (the govt has your name...must feel special! lol) aside from all the above the idea that we would get these govt dudes swarming upon our house wearing haz mat suits and mask looking menancing whilst they spray stuff and cordon off the area has not been realise..*sighs* movies about deadly viruses have deceived me clearly...

Anonymous said...

Spuddy OMG im excited..Cant wait to get my hands on it...Manje kuzoona ndarione kuno ku Zim..its a danger

Vimbai said...

@K: At this rate with people trying to lays dibs on my non-existant fashion line, i will never sell nothing, lol.

Thank you for those kinds words sbout Ella...there brought *sniff* tears to my eyes!

Thats a bit of a tame quarantine, i thought it would be men in white with masks, sniffing around your house and you having to be Bubble Boy or something.

As for how to wile away your time, eish, like i said, write a book or something, call it....QUARANTINED, hahahaha.

@Anonymous Eish, wuri pa-tight, but since there are no more visa's required, you must just over the border and get a copy innit :-) Messina should be super stocked!

K said...

Quarantined...the story of young girl who is....erm Quarantined and ...erm she can only use facebook, twitter, blogger, gchat, yahoo messenger, msn messenger.so basically yah she's cut off from the world... *first attempt at writing is CLEARLY proving difficult* lol

On the real I have taken up your suggestion...and I came here to reprimand you....you hussy you...twittering JM behind my back albeit on twitter and I hadn't seen it...anyway twittering behind my back raunchy twitters...trying to get twittered...SHAMELESS!!! LOL *K goes off to see if during this time she can direct message JM somehow*

RocNaija said...

RIP Ella.. Cross your fingers and you just might re-incarnate as a berry..

Is there a site to view the other clothes showcased at the fashion show?

G'luck K..

Vimbai said...

@K: How about this "Quaran-teen" the story of a teenage girl, isolated by her peers due to the secrets she holds about the neighbourhood quarry, lol. I think i will sell the movie rights to Paramount, i smell a winner here.

As for JM, hahaha, i was sheepishly hoping you wouldn't notice that! Seriously, i am still laughing at the very fact that was sending him a raunchy tweet at 3am...3am!!! It's just not healthy no more. But girl, i am ready and willing to fight for my man...i am pretty confident that i could take you down :-)

@Roc: Mmmmmh, i'm not sure whether This Day would have any pics on their website or the Arise publication. Sadly i didn't take any pics :-S

If i hear or see anything, i'll holla!

ShonaVixen said...

Vimbai what happened to my comment??I left a comment here!!!Seriously I did...Vimbaiiiiiiii, walking around neshamhu yemupichisi...

ShonaVixen said...

@Roc - Bellanaija.com has been showcasing the designers from this show..

Vimbai said...

@Shona: You never left a comment, look at you trying to cover your ass about NOT commenting in the first place LMAO.

Ouch, thanks for dredging up childhood memories of being flogged neshamu yemupichisi. In Western countries that would be enough to have social welfare paying your parents a looooong visit :-)

PS Thanks for the website link for the fashion show pics musikana.

munhu said...

@Shona and Vim thank you for the link - would so want to go and catch one of those shows but been up and about a lot this past week and tonight I am going to personally deliver Vimbai's message to Fabio Cannavaro about lunch on Saturday followed by dinner and a movie and some what what later...
Will also check out those threads
@ K - hope that swine flu thing is over soon.

Shamhu yemupichisi - my bum tingled at the sound of that...takabva kure wena.

ShonaVixen said...

Vimbai sha-a I did leave a message here..where I talked of Zim designers being out there and how Skye isnt the conventional designer but me loves her stuff...then I said something to Kooks..LOL!! Zvemashuwa-shuwa!!
Yeah, for one kuno there's no peaches trees to enable the traditional walloping..geez if there was I'm sure Social Services would have taken a LOAD of Zim parents..lol!!

Vimbai said...

@munhu Tell Fabio he's my Italian Stallion, Go Italia!

@Shona: You need to re-write that comment coz i want a running list of all competition *ahem* i mean Zim designers...just so i know who to copy from *ahem* i mean, draw inspiration from!

My future house will not have one but three peaches tree so my bambino's know that mama ain't playing!

A friend of mines mother used to make her soak the shamu's in salt water before she used them on her, eish, thats ruff man!

munhu said...

Vim - I told Fabio what you said - he was majestic and graceful in defence but sadly the might of the Pharoahs was too much for him...he might be in touch !!!!