Wednesday, May 06, 2009

So long, Dear Thong

Dearest Thong,

Where do I begin? I know you’ve been confused by my absence or rather avoidance during these last few weeks.

The truth is… well, there’s someone else.

I wasn’t looking to replace you, seriously I wasn’t. You and I had had such a good run for the last decade or so. Even during times of judgement, like when my mother found evidence of after my first semester at varsity and demanded vehemently why I bothered with you and that she was convinced that you were merely “stringing” me along & I should replace you with something of more substance (read: more material per square centimetre).

I defended you and spoke of how you delivered me from the horrors of Visible Panty Lines (VPL) and frumpiness at the tender age of 18.I wasn’t the only one who loved you though, you were so popular that even Sisquo wrote a song about you

Nevertheless, I had my frustrations with you that I skilfully hid from those near and dear to me. You weren’t always the most comfortable companion, can I be more candid and go as far as saying you could be a right pain in the ass at times.

This can’t be all that surprising to you, you must have seen this coming a mile away. Now I think about it, our relationship had no long-term future. The fact that I refused to sleep with you should have set off some alarm bells!

Like I said earlier, I met someone else. If I was to be honest, this isn’t as recent development as you probably believe. But even back then, you were my mainstay; those flings meant nothing, merely an outlet for my quarter life crisis and need for change.

Nevertheless, a week ago, I was minding my own business and doing a spot of window shopping when I walked into La Senza who were having a fantastic sale. I couldn’t resist. As I reached out for you, my staple, the sales lady pointed out that the French Knickers (FK) would be more to my liking. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have listened, but they looked so cute. I promised myself that I would only buy them this once, what harm could be done.

Two weeks later and this is were we find ourselves…semi strangers. FK’s have introduced me to a new way of comfort and sensuality. This is no longer a casual dalliance or school girl crush. I’m in it for the long-term…I am so sorry.

I know we’ll still see each other from time to time; we have too much history to part ways so coldly and completely. After all, we can still be friends :-)

No hard feelings,

V x


No laughing matter: I acknowledge there is nothing amusing about a health hazard that’s killed people and continues to infect more people…however, in times like this, when people are gripped by the hysteria of fear and uncertainty…Humour is the only medicine.
I got the following cartoon jpeg in my mail the other day and couldn’t help but have a bit of a chuckle.

It’s Not Right But It’s Okay…I think: Something’s feeling a little off at work. Things are a bit tense as it is with depressed economy making it harder to meet budget etc, but that’s not what’s bugging me. What concerns me is the number of resignations this year alone within my department. People are jumping ship and that’s not a good sign at all.

I am gonna spend more time at the water cooler and tea area and get to the bottom of all this, clearly I didn’t get the memo :-)

Happy Hump Day hukus (chickens)


V x


ShonaVixen said...

Firstly that Pooh and Piglet thing, when i got it in my inbox last week, i was laughing ALL day!!actually, it still makes me LAUGH!!

Your post is as crazy as Vera's!!!..LOL..yup i love French Knickers too and I actually was introduced to them 5yrs back by an Aussie friend of mine, he wore them to a fancy dress party (u knw how crazy Aussie's get!)and he raved on the comfort and from then on I've been hooked!!

ShonaVixen said...

and yup go and spend time by the water cooler if folks are jumping ship as if its the Titanic, check it out!!

My World said...

Love the thong...
I can only imagine its

munhu said...

those French thingies so flatter the curves on a woman I tell you...thong best for quickies just brush it aside and it's on...but talk of a eulogy...this needs to be in Cosmo or was a wonderful read

K said...

erm munhu...yah...*blushing*

this was as with all your posts V, a great read. I felt your pain at saying bye to the thong but dude you have chosen wisely!

Mad Mykel said...


Funny thing is I can't quite remember which one Thong is... maybe a picture of the two of you to jog my memory ,-)

Vimbai said...

@Shona: Ndiani/Who's Vera? FK's are soooooooooooooooooooo more comfortable and make everyones butt look good!

As for the Aussie male with a penchant for women's comment, lol.

Oh and have been doing some reconnaisance at the water cooler, eish, things look bleak mate...BLEAK.

My World: Heya! The thong had it's day man, time to switch things up! I will still hold on to a handful of them, but the rest must go!

Munhu: Eaxctly, they are very flattering! French Knickers are to women what Boxer Briefs are to can't help but look good!

Thanks for the compliment, let me holla at Cosmo and see what they have to say :-)

K: Eish, munhu had us all blushing mate with that, umm, description. My bottom and I feel we have chosen wisely indeed :-)

Mad Mykel: Nice try buddy, lol. I am sure there's a more than willing female somewhere who's keen to give you a refresher course on the "subtle" differences, hehe.

munhu said...

you know there does seem to be a lotta movement out that revolving door at my jobbing place and i did not get the memo I guess capitalising on all those long weekends to bring my leave balance in check left me out of the loop...
definitely seeking that memo out and acting on it too !!!
the blushes musta been a marvel to have because the thoughts that accompanied them...musta been two should compare notes on them....offline please...

K said...

@ Munhu...flashbacks ..flashbacks

V have you ever gotten a flashback by the way. Where you just remember a sexual moment in a totally inappropriate place and you just like whoaaaaa time out!

Vimbai said...

@Munhu: Keep us informed of developments at your graft/work!

We were merely blushing as you had insulted our sensibilities...hehe.

@K....Dude, my mind is ALWAYS in the gutter so flashbacks are never too far away. I don't know why so many of them happen in church tho...i blame Satan!

munhu said...

oh there is something so Zimbo about saying Satan as opposed to the devil...I miss home !!!! remember way back when they called jeans maSatani? flashbacks...when I have them I even remember fragrances because I am a sucker for a woman that smells real good. Needless to say there are some fragrances that I steer clear of...bad memories!!!

ShonaVixen said...

is it me or is it getting a bit warm in here??All thanks to French Knickers!!!..
Inappropriate time to have flashbacks = Moi today, in a meeting, I was so not paying attention @ all..pheeww i didn't have to give my 2cents just listen in!!

Vimbai said...

French Knickers are the way forward, trust me ;-)

Hahaha, just imagine you were asked a meeting, you'd be all, "Huh, sorry come again?" - mind the pun, LMAO!

I seriously need to think more pure thoughts!

tjidzani said...

Lurve FKs! I think a man invented the uncomfortable thong and I gave it up about 3 years ago!