Friday, May 01, 2009

Come what May


A pinch and a punch for the first of the month!

Happy May Day chickens! A quarter of the year has flown by and I’m all dazed and confused. Here’s hoping that the next 4 months ease up just a tad ‘cause I am barely recovering from the drama that has been the last 4 months of 2009. Here are 4 life lessons I have learnt these past months:

1. Being passive aggressive is a waste of everybody’s time. There’s nothing like a good old showdown with loved ones and friends to clear the air, after all, no one’s a mind reader.

2. A job and a career aren’t the same thing, they’re hardly related even. They’re maybe third cousins, twice removed. If you merely have a job like me, then its time to do some soul searching to determine what your career is meant to be, ‘cause a job can only tithe you over so long.

3. Say your prayers. I had slipped on the spiritual front, I used to have God on speed dial but now he’s probably looking down at his phone every time I buzz like “Ummm, who’s this?” Praying is very personal thing, so if to you it means chanting, meditating or merely expressing gratitude to the universe, then do it. A little bit goes a long, long way.

4. Becoming friends after having been a little friendlier than that is…weird, to say the least. Some things happen a little more naturally than others or not at all.

Happy Endings: Forget the “happy endings” depicted in seedy porn flicks (which I obviously don’t know too much about *ahem*). I am talking about the sheer joy of regaining the ability to move my neck 90 degrees to the right without hearing something click followed by a sharp painful sensation.

Situation was so dire I had dubbed my back, “Knots Landing.” Enter the masseuse, now to be known as Magic Fingers (MF), who pummelled my neck and back into shape using hot stones.

Dialogue between me and MF was limited as I kept losing consciousness during the massage from either sheer joy or sheer pain: MF told me, in not so many words, that working for The Man had resulted in me harbouring weapons of mass destruction at the base of my neck.

I merely muttered incoherent sobs in agreement whilst wondering silently if it’s possible to die from a massage, as well as inwardly praying she didn’t get too close to my boobs (what? I had a bad experience a while back…but that’s a story for another day).

An hour later I stumbled out into the glaring daylight with a new lease on life…and a glistening body as proof (that massage oil is impossible to remove!).

Where’s the Oinkment? WHO has bumped it up to a pandemic threat level of 5 on a 6 step level. Not good…not good at all. Even worse, pharmaceutical companies are speculating about the amount of money they can make by creating new drugs to address this flu strain.

Seriously??! People are dying and someone in some big, cushy office somewhere is rubbing his hands in glee at the money that can be made off an imminent pandemic.
It makes me believe that there’s some truth in the countless theories that cures for most diseases that afflict humans exist, however, cures don’t make big business sense so they’re shelved for other forms of medication that reign in symptoms rather than cure them.

Yikes!

Random Tidbit: Was just getting my daily tabloid fix (don’t judge me) and I see that Kelis has filed for divorce from Nas. I guess her milkshake can bring all the boys to the yard, however, getting them to stick around and behave may just be another story altogether.

Hollywood relationships have the most ridiculous turn-over rate; then again, this Love business isn’t for the faint hearted…

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I shall now wish you all a superb weekend where you can keep your rose-coloured glasses on and remember that Louis Armstrong must have been on to something when he crooned,

“And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.”

Be good chickens,

Love,

V x

2 comments:

K said...

Kelis and Nas were my fav hip hop couple and she's 7months pregnant...what if she's just hormonal? lol

2 and 3 are my problem these days...
2 it seems people in my age bracket myself included 25 and over want to do what they love to do. If I could open up a secondhand bookshop/cafe which moonlights as a poetry spot/open mic night after hours on the weekends I would quit uni tomorrow.

random tidbit for you V, just heard this today..instead of using the westernized lol will you be using the Zim version KNK ?(kufa ne kuseka)..forgive the spelling!

hope the rest of 09 goes better for you babe because eish although the specifics have not been spelled out it sounds like the last 4months ka have been survival of the strongest!

Vimbai said...

Kelis did always strike me as a little loco, eish to file for divorce when pregnant...ish must be going down!

When (and not if) you open up the bookshop/cafe please reserve me a table in the corner where i can sit and appear to be all mysterious!

Hahaha, K, you are so zimbofied mate i don't even know why you bother claiming you are Zambian? I know about the KNK (your spelling was correct by the way!) - My people and their never ending gwashness that gives me a reason to smile every day :-)

This year has been the craziest year ever and its only been 4mths of it. But i will survive this...and all the other BS, *ahem*, i mean trials and tribulations that come along.

Here's to the next 8 months being kinder to me, you and the rest of the world!