Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I have succumbed...

I’d been so good up until this point, resisting the peer pressured cries to join the site. I mocked those who sang its praises, “Why would you want people to know your every move?” I used to ask. In return people would give me that smile, you know the one, it says, “She has NO idea how good this is, she’ll see.”

Curiosity got the better of me whilst cruising the world wide web early this week. Before I could say, “Oh how the mighty have fallen” I was registered and trawling the site to add people to follow.

Forget crystal meth and tick, this Twitter business is seriously addictive stuff.

I mean, I thought blogs and FB were as personal and informative as it was gonna get to gain access to the views and inner thoughts of those familiar and not so familiar.

Twitter, however, is on another level.

People who were previously inaccessible are now sharing their hopes, dreams, frustrations, cravings etc with you as if you were long lost hoods. Admittedly, most of what’s shared is quite run-of-the-mill inane stuff (more so depending on who you’ve chosen to follow), however once in a while a pearl of wisdom or a witty line is dropped that has you either in a fit of giggles or challenges your view on a certain topic..

Okay, I know I am gushing and a gazillion years too late with this post (sue me, I ‘m a late bloomer) but if you don’t know you better ask somebody sign up and find out for yourself.

It won’t disappoint. Promise!

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside: Am i the only one who is seriously bugging out about this swine flu strain that's doing the rounds? Seriously, what's going on in the world? Diseases are now crossing the animal-human being threshold and that's more than a little worrying.

And talking about having it bad, Mexico is only just figuring out they've got a time bomb on their hands and boom, they get hit with an earthquake. Eish, when it rains it pours mate.

To those of you residing in the areas where it's been identified, keep safe and refrain from *ahem* swapping spit with anyone...just until this thing is figured out :-)

My questions for the day: What trend or fad have you found yourself unashamedly following in the recent past? And what trends/fads do you wish had never seen the light of day?

Holla in the comments chickens,

V x

Monday, April 27, 2009

You aren’t black enough!

Who goes around making such sweeping statement?” you may ask. Sadly, the answer to that is, “Many, many people. Too many in fact

Just last week at work, I had gone in sporting my version of a black and white winter androgynous look I’d seen from some designer on

Anywho, 3 hrs into the working day I’m sitting at my desk, attempting to look productive when my black male co-worker, sitting to my right, pipes up that my outfit looks, and I quote, “Ummm, interesting.” Naively, I mistake his use of the word “interesting” as something positive and start gushing on about how much I like so-and-so’s collection and tried to re-create the look.

That’s when the co-worker declares with his head at in a questioning slant, “You really don’t dress like a black girl Vimbai. Why don’t you dress like the other black women in the department?””


Seriously?!! Did he SERIOUSLY just say something that stupid, ignorant, narrow-minded?!

That’s when I tartly enquire, “How exactly do the “other” black women in the office dress?”. Clearly brotha man hadn’t seen the steam jetting out of my ears at that point, ‘cause if he had, he certainly would have stopped talking by this point. However, this particular specimen clearly had a death wish, hameno.

He looked around the office, spotted and pointed out Exhibit A standing by the printers as a great example, in his opinion, of how black women in the office should clothe themselves.

Interestingly enough, he picked out one of the office 1st year's who has still to make the distinction between “clothes that are work appropriate” and “clothes that are usually worn after 8pm…under minimal lighting…whilst moon-lighting as a cage dancer.”

My co-worker then believes that this is a good enough time as any to highlight my other non-black tendencies that have lead him to the conclusion that I’m just not black enough. As he isn’t the first, and I daresay the last to declare such idiotic statements to me, I thought I would share a few I’ve been hit with in the past:

1. “Why don’t you wear higher heels to work?” (Bra, I am already 5’ 9’ in flats! Futi/also, what do you think this is, ladies-wear-clear-stripper-heels-to-work-Tuesday?”);

2. “Why are you so light in complexion? Are you coloured/mixed race?” (This question has been the bane of my existence. One of my earliest memories is my mother sending me off to my first day of school in Zim and telling me that no matter what anyone says at school, I should tell them I am black and not coloured/mixed race.

It doesn’t seem to matter to people that I can trace both sides of my families bloodlines back a good 200 odd-years and yes, I may have the odd great grandmother who is a bit of an anomaly –but who doesn’t have one of those right? Sadly, it appears the world would rather take you at face-value…beauty and everything else appearsto be merely skin-deep these days);

3. “Why’s your English so good?” (This question crops up more in my surrogate country of South Africa, than it did (or ever) back home in Zimbabwe.

Call it what you may; a colonial hangover from the days of Rhodesian, attending mostly white private school, living in the ‘burbs etc. Either way, the reactions to the way I speak are unsettlingly and very annoying at best. Some Black people look at you like you’ve “sold-out” somehow and some White people look at you like you aren’t as daft as they were expecting you to be or sound, urgggh); and,

4. “You write a blog? Don’t only white people do that?” (Blogging is supposedly quite the un-black thing to do, according to some individual's living under rocks who haven’t taken a trip to the world wide web and seen what and who’s out there, writing away. Clearly they must be schooled!)

When is anything “enough” is my question?

Who’s out there regulating the world to ensure that Black people remain black enough? That Asian/White/Native American India people meet the ambiguous expectations set by their respective races.

In this day and age of globalisation, cultural fusion and heightened awareness of the world in which we live in, there are those who would prefer that people remain within their comfort zones and stick with the status quo.

These are people I have never had anytime for and will continue not to have time for.

One should never forget where they came from that made them who they are today. However, in the same breath; one should never be defined by the limits, opinions and criticisms of others.

Life is too short to be told who and what you are or should be.


This lovely Monday I am not at work (hence, why it is being referred to as a “lovely Monday”).

Today marks Freedom/Independence Day for all South Africans from a regime that tried to convince all people of colour within their lands that they were “not enough” as a race. Apartheid may have only been abolished 15 years ago (honestly, what took them so long) but at least the people were heard in the end!

Pamberi neFreedom of Expression and Self!

Have an amazing start to the working week chickens :-)


V x

Friday, April 24, 2009

Out with the Old & In with the New!

Not content with reorganising, reshuffling and revamping every other aspect of my life over the last week, i decided that my blog also needed a bit of a makeover.

I don't why i stuck with the other design for so long, habit and familiarity i guess, but yup, don't get too attached to this format 'cause i'm gonna be fiddling around a little more. I wish i was bit more proficient in html or twiddling around with web/blog's gonna be a whole lot of trial and error (emphasis on the error part).

Zulu is sooooooo "de rigueur": As an inhabitant of this surrogate country of mine, i believe its necessary imperative that everyone of its citizens (permanent or otherwise) brush up on their Zulu 'cause ladies and gents, there's a new Sheriff in town by the name of JZ!

These elections where a bit of a non-event, there was no real opposition after all.

There was the usual drama involved with African elections...ballots missing, not enough ballots, mud slinging from all parties (okay, that happens in any election), intimidation, ridiculous promises being made (free housing, education for all)...the usual song and dance!

Although the ANC is leading by a 66% majority (well, last time i checked, and they're not quite done counting) its suprising to hear so many disgruntled people remark on the outcome.

I guess it's not everyday when a man who has proclaimed to have taken a shower after sleeping with an HIV positive woman to reduce his chances of getting AIDs (??!!!); has a fondness for snogging street hawkers on campaign trails, as well as, being implicated on God-knows how many fraud charges (that were conveniently dropped) is elected to office.

And Obama thought he had a lot of obstacles on his path to becoming president, lol.

Ah well, to each his own innit, Lord knows, "Some MothersCountries Do 'Ave Em"

Have a sublime weekend chickens and keep safe!


V x

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Almost 30 Blues

Buzzword = Recession: Like the delayed time-lag it takes for most things to hit this continent, i am kinda impressed that the effects of the "recesssion " (say in hushed, low tones for dramatic effect) have reached us by April already.

You see, people were quite confidently declaring that this side of the world wouldn't be affected, but i wasn't hearing that, and had my predictions set for the end of May 2009.
However, with down-played lay-offs and retrenchments gaining pace and company head's calling big meetings to discuss how, and i quote, "Deadweight will be 'let' go". I would like to formally declare that This Is Not A Drill, The Recession is Upon Us.

Job security and all things money related are on the top's of everyone's mind. My job, a constant source of anguish for me of late, has suddenly started looking good...real good. I mean, how could i have taken things like a consistant source of income, Medical Aid and a Work Visa for granted?

From now on i am gonna play the role of the perfect employee, i really don't need to be giving people a reason to give me the boot and force me into a marriage of convenience so as to remain in the country, ah the trials and tribulations of The Economic Refugee :-)

My attempts at frugality this weekend, had me attempting to recreate a home spa type vibe. I gave myself a pedicure (saved R120), washed and styled my own hair (a gruelling feat that probably saved me R170), got my girl to get us on the guest list of the local club (saving me R150) and a charming friend sponsored my drinks that night (R100 i will estimate).

Sadly there were some weak moments, i found myself ordering the not-so-cheap Lamb dish at a friend's dinner and washing it down with some pretty pricey cocktails, thereby setting me back by a couple R200, eish.

The quest to limit my expenses continues.

Feel free to volunteer a few pointers in keeping me outta the red :-)


Guess who's 29? Approaching 30 tends to put most people in a funk, the same also applies for countries too. My beloved country, Zimbabwe, turned 29 over the weekend and it was a pretty sober affair.

Okay, the countless club sessions, braai's/barbeque's, music playlists that were hosted and created on this side on the world on Saturday weren't what i would call sober, but it just felt odd to be celebrating, in the true sense of the word. It's hard to celebrate when you know the harsh realities that your people back home are experiencing.

How can one celebrate when; healthcare is a foreign concept to sick children, when clean water...or any water is a right reserved for the very wealthy, when Hunger is every man's companion and Fear is every man's warden.

Celebrate is definitely the wrong word to use here. "Acknowledgment" seems to be a better fit.

Acknowledgment of those who risked life and limb to liberate my people. Acknowledgement of the sacrifices made so that i, a born-free, would have the luxury of never knowing what it's like to be treated like a second rate citizen on the land of my ancestors.

In acknowledging the past, one can't help but acknowledge the present and realise we haven't lived up to the expectations. The 18th of April is no longer a day of celebration, but a day of acknowledgment...acknowledgment of the past, acknowledgement of the present and currently, an acknowledgment of guilt.

All i can think of is...How did we let this happen?

Vote & Be Heard: This Wednesday South African's are taking the polls to Vote. Before, no black South African would have had any doubt as to where their vote lay or which political party would receive their backing.

However, in the last few months, scepticism and disappointment has led to some apathy among the younger black voters, to the point that some are declaring they shall not vote.

In the words of Malcolm X, "Tis the hinge that squeaks, that gets the grease."

Vote and Be Heard, no matter your political leanings.


On that note, let me be out and start working on being Employee of the Year. A bad job is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than no job (can i get an Amen!).

Happy Monday chickens,


V x

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Sunday Night Poetry XII

I Thank You God

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any - lifted from the no
of all nothing - human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

E.E. Cummings



Thanks to the ear
that someone may hear

Thanks to seeing
that someone may see

Thanks to feeling
that someone may feel

Thanks to touch
that one may be touched

Thanks to flowering of white moon
and spreading shawl of black night
holding villages and cities together

James Berry

Thursday, April 09, 2009

What it's really all about...

What are you all up to for the long weekend? Who's going home, going out of town, staying in, booking themselves into a spa, painting the town red, reflecting upon what Easter means, catching up on their Grey's, going fishing (??!!)?

What are your plans, i'm curious like that?

Sleeping your way to the top: My mate just told me how an intern in her department fell asleep during a meeting with a major client! Full on snoozing, i bet he was even in REM mode, lol. Hopefully, he still has his job by the end of the week 'cause the client was quite unimpressed.

I have fallen asleep in so many meetings, lectures, church sermons...its not even funny! I have now mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open. Firstly, i believe that meetings should never take more than 15 minutes at any one time, i have the attention span of a gnat saka brevity is always appreciated.

The Beauty & Power of the Easter Story: Another Easter is upon us and yet again i haven't had any easter eggs or hot cross buns? I suppose that's a good sign, that this Easter i had more of a spiritual focus than usual. It's hard not to be desensitised to the horror and sadness of what Easter actually represents, we've heard this story way too many times.

However, when i sit and really think about it, it makes me miserable and quite emotional. Here's a guy, who did absolutely nothing wrong and all he wanted to do was spread a message of peace and love. But nooooooooooo, people felt threatened by him and killed him...not swiftly, nah, they drew it out.

Just reading about it upsets me, that's why i refuse to watch The Passion, i know i will join the handful of people who went into cardiac arrest whilst watching it.

But gore and sadness aside, Easter is also a time of new beginnings, hope and the unwavering truth that The Lord lives and reigns.

Be Blessed munchkins


V x

Let every man and woman count himself immortal.
Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection.
Let him say not merely, "Christ is risen,"
but "I shall rise."

Phillips Brooks

Monday, April 06, 2009

Din-Din-Dee Shakers & Deal Breakers

I take back all my previous whinging about the influx of April baby birthday bashes, ‘cause yoh, these people can sure entertain! My Saturday was a blitz of festive gatherings. I experienced what will likely be the last braai (barbeque) of the summer, the summer bunnies and stunner shades were all out in full force. Turned out to be a bit of a high school/varsity reunion of sorts, this world, or rather some social circles, are really getting too small and quite incestuous.

I also ended up at some birthday drinks on Saturday at a Moroccan styled joint. If you know about my love of all things Moroccan, then you’ll know I was in heaven, which was evident by my attempts to belly-dance to the streaming Moroccan themed music that serenaded us all night.

My gingers to make an absolute full of myself may have had something to do with the fact that I realised a bit too late that a)I shouldn’t have been drinking anything alcoholic given that my last meal had been in the much earlier part of the day and b) My alcohol tolerance was shot…I was already the world’s cheapest date, now I was the world’s cheapest, slurring date. The next morning, the pounding headache I nursed for the better part of the morning was evidence enough that I should just give up alcohol for good, at this rate, I am going to get hung-over from cough syrup.

Deal or No Deal: I was having a general chat with a friend during the week and we came upon the fascinating topic of relationship deal breakers and were discussing the various traits and tendencies that could qualify as a deal breaker when sussing someone out for romantic or hook up potential in general. I was told that my list of deal breakers was extremely fastidious, it listed everything from; “Any slight whiff of BO and I’m out of there” to “Those with an aversion to *ahem* cunninglingus need not apply (yah I said it)”.

Question: So my question to put out to y’all, what are your relationship/hook-up deal breakers?

Here’s to the 4-day working week: For the rest of this month, all inhabitants of SA have the pleasure of having a 4-day working week as a public holiday falls in every week this month, with the bonus of two public holidays falling in the last week of April. Supposedly the production industry is whinging as they incur hectic losses due to a dip in production time and employee productivity. All I can say is, “Warried, I will be on holiday!”

Let me get cracking and welcome the day and all its infinite and positive possibilities! Have a great Monday chickens :-)


V x

Friday, April 03, 2009

Say Hi to the Twins!

Err, Happy National Cleavage Day people! Yes, South Africans revere women's mammaries so much, they've got a national day for it...wish it was a public holiday though, lol.

The mini-feminist in me can't help but wonder that if they've got a National Cleavage Day, they should probably also have Hung-Like-A-Horse Day too. I am just know how sensitive people are about equal rights and what-not, hehe.

I completely forgot that it was such a day, not that i have any cleavage to really flaunt, my two sisters cleared the gene pool of the cup-runneth-over chromosomes before i even had a chance to wade in there. I have resolved that when i am pregnant with my first offspring, then and probably only then, will i get to flaunt them bad boys. I have watched waaaaaaaaaaaay too much Dr 90210 shows to ever contemplate getting a boob job, can you say ouch.

In the mean time, fellas, please shed some light as to why your ilk has such a strange fixation for the boobies? Methinks y'all weren't weaned properly chete chete :-)

April Babies everywhere: What happened 9mths ago, besides the obvious, that has lead to a major influx of April babies. My FB birthday notifier-thingy is extremely populated this month. I shouldn't really complain the Aries boys and girls have always treated me well, but eish, i see a severe depletion of funds this month in trying to keep up with birthday gifts, boo. With the world economy in dire straits, i may just resort to making their gifts (this will involve , after all, it's the thought that counts...right?

The Audacity of Hope: I want to send a big shoutout and virtual hug to everyone i know (and don't know) going through any life/work/personal related strife and upheaval. 2009 has been a bit of a tough year in general, here's hoping the next 9 months bring some relief, answers and fantastic new beginnings.

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."
George Iles

Have a happy, healthy weekend chickens!


V x