Wednesday, January 14, 2009

'Twas murder on the dancefloor

In keeping with the spirit of new beginnings and fresh starts I decided to sign up for a dance class this year. I had got sick of staring at the brochure which I’d had stuck on my fridge for the last few months, it just served as an obvious reminder of my procrastination.

But as that dance track by September goes, “Forever and ever, Life is now or never. Forever’s gonna slow you down” so I decided to grab the bull by the horns, so to speak, and just sign up already.

I had such hopeful beginnings, picturing scenes from various dance movies like Fame, Centre Stage. I was secretly hoping the odd person there would be in a leotard, with leg warmers for dramatic effect.

So imagine my obvious dismay when I found out that my dance class was made up of myself and four other couples (although I was assured that no partners were required, urgggh) and nobody was wearing a leotard. To make matters worse, I ended up having to partner with the instructor…an energetic chick half my height.

Luckily after a few mortifying dances with the lady-teacher an idle male dance instructor came to my rescue and all was not lost. That’s when the evening picked up ‘cause it turns out if you dance with an instructor they’re less likely to mess up the steps and instead, start twirling you around and throwing in steps the actual instructor (i.e. ms lady-teacher) hasn’t even got to yet…eish, those other couples all seemed to have two left feet or some’ing.

I was uber happy my extreme dancing talents (no modesty here) were realised and I got my Dirty Dancing moment, “Nobody puts BabyVimbai in a corner!”

So my hips currently don’t lie…they just kind of hurt from all that swirling and what-what, clearly I’m getting old.

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Who’s counting? So it’s about 31 days and counting till Valentine’s Day and counting…am just saying, if you’re into that sort of thing…’cause I’m not you know. Ah, who am I kidding I love commercial, cheesy ish like that, so bite me.

Speaking of which, it turns out I’ve got my very own living and breathing Cupid hard at work these days! How’s this for subtle, my friend’s mum has been emailing me various links to dating and networking websites this week. Hau, initially I was shook (once I had stopped laughing that is) then I started praying that she doesn’t decide to up her game in her quest to find me a significant other and start handing my number out to potential hopefuls, *cringe*. Watch this space people, if she has her way, I will be hitched by year end, lol.

2000 and… Okay, I think I’ve heard them all now. This year is going by so many names;

2000 and Shine;
2000 and Mine;
2000 and Divine; and,
2000 and Fine.

And the rhyming continues, feel free to let me know of other’s I may have missed.

Be good and enjoy your hump-day shenanigans!

V x

25 comments:

ShonaVixen said...

Good on ya for going to dance class..m still on my pole dancing classes and loving them!!
Was talking my girl the other day and she goes oooh Valentine's Day is on a Saturday..I then asked her what day her birthday was on and she had to think about it..I'm so not into Valentine's Day, and last year was good coz I was working in an all male environment, this year is the opposite, I gots all women her and so I shudder to think the ooohs and the aaahs of that day...Ok maybe coz I know I shan't be receiving nothing so I cringe when all things mushy are happening around me!!

Super star! said...

Thanks for reminding me of valentines' day. Now i don't have an excuse. Experience has taught me this is a big day for women, and an expensive experience for men....

As for hooking up on dating sites, my advice is avoid like a plague (judging from my experience): besides nothing beats randomly meeting someone and before they say a word their H doubled and mixed with your O becomes H2O. And then when they do say a word you discover other chemical combinations.....the power of the written word is not as flirtations as a wink or a hand rub- or the fragrance that lingers on longer after you've hugged goodbye.
Shona: give me your address and i will ensure you get something..

K said...

V you aint fooling me...i know your strategy trying to cross off 3 resolutions in one hit...get fit, try something new and meet new people...ooooh i see you getting the jump on others still stuck on their first resolution...ha ha

as for the hook up...my friend who works in s.a sent me an email yesterday gushing, saying there was this new guy being transferred to her sector from atlanta and she was going to hook me up...I was like good for you but my ass is in AUSTRALIA!!! AND how desperate does it make me look...apparently being 27 and not in a serious relationship is causing her problems...

AND Valentines day?? Sha I will not start on the commercial aspect of that stuff... I started to see hearts and Easter eggs in my local supermarket from the 4th of Jan...
and whats funny is one of my friends has a dead beat boyfriend gwash to nth degree, he never gets her anything for birthday or anniversaries Nada...but on V day where you can't forget because they advertise 3 months ahead....he will get her the usual chocolates, bear, card and dinner deal and she will be gloating and boasting in your face for the next month...at which point she goes back to complaining about his no good self....

But TRUST i will accept all and any gifts that are given to me on the day...

Vimbai said...

Shona: Bra, if you're in an all chick environment then there'll be some competition going on, subtle, but it will be there. Hold up, are you working on a Saturday, coz if not then you'll avoid all that burrish.

Super star: I want a valentine's goody too sha!

And yes, it would do you and all mankind some good to remember the date, otherwise its late for you mate.

Dude, i'm not in the slightest interested in online dating anythings. I need to see people live and direct, the club doesnt even count...not enough lighting, lol.

Vimbai said...

K: Clearly there's no fooling you, i hadn't even realised i'd killed 3 resolutions in one go, now i am super chuffed :-)

Clearly we are both members of the "27 and not in a serious relationship club", i may even make a badge for such :-)

Hahaha, your friend is a killah! Shame, you know how love is blind and all and all. LMAO, hanzi gwash to the nth degree...at least he makes an effort though, i thought you were gonna say he'd claim he didn't know it was Valentines even though there'd been promoting the day straight after christmas, lol.

Super Star! said...

I guess i better start shopping...warning: i am really one of those cheap, Cliche brothaz K is talking about.

27 is a good age y'all. honestly i would worry more about career, travelling, going to biz school, starting a company and writing that book if i were in your shoes. Then again i am a guy, and like fine wine....

K said...

Sha is Superstar campaigning for ma online applications with that compliment that 27 is a good age and then he says.."I like fine wine"...I read that and I was like hold on wait a minute...lol

ShonaVixen said...

LOL Superstar is definitely on a campaign..he's even offering to send me something!!..LOL...Hmmm Superstar my frend..fess up..lol..
Yess, its on a Saturday..good for me coz will completely miss the whole fuss unless some enthusiastic boyfriends send the flowers on the Friday...

ShonaVixen said...

and I still want my present..and it has to be an I-PHONE nothing more, nothing less Ta Superstar...

K said...

Erm since we are requesting ish here...I also am not guaranteed a Valentines day gift but if superstar is offering address can be provided...

Super star! said...

Ladies hold up. Shona I-phone, my sister, i don't even have an MP3 player.Hell, haven't even seen the freaking thang. Here i was thinking a card will suffice.
K- i meant as a guy i never worry about my age especially since with age i am more desirable. As for the gift, going by Shona's demands i suspect i am out of my depths here. but just for interest sake what would you like??

K said...

well since you shot down the idea of I-phone for Shona I don't know if you will be willing to max your visa to shop @ nine west /even a pair of steve maddens or Jimmy Choo's...and thats me downgrading...lol

LOL...how we are using V's spot to conduct our V day requests!

ShonaVixen said...

@ Mr Superstar! - A card??A card?? You really should see the priceless look on my face..why is it a Banksy card?Then maybe we're talking, if its a normal Clinton Card m sorry..and I dont do roses too...
Ok like K I guess I have to downgrade, so how about a pair of Kurt Geiger heels? or maybe a MAC & Bobbi Brown Cosmetics vouchers ..and I draw the line there..no further down grade..

@K - I wonder what Vimbs is saying..sorry ekse..lol..

munhu said...

Nyenyedzi mazvikokota - famba nebhora shasha famba naro. i do not have to worry about Val Day and I will not be volunteering anything...but I will wish everyone a happy valentine's day that i see...remember the singing cards from Kardies that were all the rage when Zim was Zim....

Funms-the rebirth said...

hmmm i think i should take dance classes too........ and i HATE valentine's day!!!!!!!!!!!

Super star! said...

Shona & K. being a bit curious and since i have taken time off work i did a bit of research. I went to Selfridges and snooped around for Jimmy choos and Kurt Geiger. Now ladies seriously if this is downgrading then how does a guy ever upgrade you? I am obviously on the wrong blog, i belong to the my-job-is-on-the-line, hit by the credit crunch badly- so baby no present at valentines club.

Munhu: dude i was planning on sending dem singing cards, but HEYI i am out of my league here.

Vimbai said...

You people are crazy! Your comments were entertaining me all of yesterday and this morning!

How did the Valentine's requests move from a simple card to Jimmy Choo's, that Gwen Gutherie track, "No Romance without Finance" sums up the general feeling around Valentine's.

Guys, if you didn't already know, the grander the gestures, the bigger the rewards ;-)

As for you Super Star, credit crunch chichacho! You have dug yourself a hole mate, you best be delivering the goods...recession or no recession.

Shona: I-phone he-re? You crazy!

Funms: Hate Valentines, nobody hates it. Methinks the lady doth protest too much! Maybe Super Star can send you through something too, since he's spreading the V-day cheer :-)

K: If Jimmy-Choo's are you down-grading i fear for all mankind, lol!

Munhu: Singing cards from Cardies, hahahaha, no i don't remember those? Clearly you are well versed with the contents of Cardies you so must have shelved out some V-day cheer in your past too.

ShonaVixen said...

Lol @ Nyenyedzi Mazvikokota...aaah yaah Munhu!!
Superstar! - ok if not Kurt Geiger I'll accept Faith/Office/Zara..but since you were in Selfridges you should have just gone to the MAC/Bobbi Brown counters I'm sure you would have picked up a voucher for me!! You offered, I didnt ask, you offered and now you back-tracking check how I've gone from I-Phone to MAC/Bobbi Brown..Come on now dude!!
K - what say u??

Vimbai said...

Shona, veduwe, stop tormenting with talk of such labels! Sha, do you know how much i miss Faith shoes...or *weep weep* Zara's!!! Clearly i am long overdue a trip to that side of the world, my wardrobe needs an overhaul!

Super star, you have to step up to the plate, no MAC or Bobbi Brown products could break your budget...well depending on how generous you're feeling. And like Shona said, you did offer...

K said...

*blink..blink...blank stare...

V and Shona ka I refuse to downgrade!!...I have downgraded before and received Bata shoes as a gift...I ain't hating on Bata but Nine West rocks my shoe size better...

Shona...you are one step away from receiving Avon cosmetics...

ShonaVixen said...

K you are so right, I really shouldnt downgrade...Superstar came here, acting like a Superstar going send me your address n ish, then when I start mentioning what I want he's like naaah...So think of 'compromise' I say MAC/Bobbi Brown and he should know that MAC/Bobbi isn't equal to AVON!!Nevha!!NO NO NO - Amy style!!
Vimz you should come to this side of the world and Superstar will pay for you to stay at The Mayfair on Park Lane if not The Dorchester..*wink*

Super star! said...

Ladies i was simply negotiating, so its:
Shona: Avon
k: Bata
V: Zara
The vouchers are in the post.I believe we now have realistic expectations, my boss will be proud lol.

Shona:If you hang around Dorchester i suspect you lyk Old Middle Eastern men with more cents than sense. Besides the bar, i am sure V would not lyk it. I know a little cottage in Winchester that would be more suited, spa n'al (i.e its cheap)

Don't worry V, if you come over i will introduce you to some City boyz with cents and sense.(just be weary of their negotiation skills)

ShonaVixen said...

Superstar!..So how come V gets Zara and I have been demoted to Avon?? If we do trace this thread, you offered me a present but somewhere along the line I have been demoted!!!
I don't even think those 'City boys' exist because really if they did then you would know not to mention BATA & AVON to us..me thinks thats a figment of ur imagination..lol..coz they would @ least borrow their boy some money so he can get us some KG/Jimmy Choos..lol...
About the Dorchester that's for afternoon tea, and not to be racist or nothing but I love me my brothas!!

Super star! said...

Ok Shona i hear you, V now gets Next.
and on 'city boys' i reckon you're trying to negotiate- unfortunately because of your racial/ist preference ain't enuf city brothaz to go around.

Vimbai said...

Heeee, Shona sha, what hateration, now i've been severely downgraded from Zara to Next????!!!

Boo!

Oooh, Super star, please sign me up for a City Boy :-) No racial preferences here, just make sure they have an x and y chromosome and that they're easy on the eye, i'll take it from there!