Monday, November 24, 2008

The Mingers of Christmas Past

December is but a heartbeat away which heralds the beginning of the Silly Season where anything and everything usually goes! Eish, for a particularly holy time of the year I must admit, I have partaken in my fair share of debauchery and random ama-flings, some kinda questionable in hindsight – I blame it on a combination of my single status around this time, and of course, alcohol…lots of it.

A friend and I were shooting the sh*t about our random, cringe-worthy hookups and we realised that the one or two that we each had lurking in our past all happened over the Christmas/December holidays.

Going forward, I hereby dub all such hook-ups over that time of the year, “The Mingers of Christmas Past.”

What’s the Fuss? So the new Bond is out and everyone is raving about Daniel Craig and even going as far as declaring him…the best Bond. What blasphemy!

Am I the ONLY person on this planet who doesn’t see it? He bored the heck out of me in Casino Royale…granted, I only watched 20mins before I fell asleep. I got to the part where in the throes of some frisky behaviour he realised he had to go off and probably kill someone and left a rather unimpressed chick literally gagging for it! When has Bond EVER picked his country over a chick, that’s when I decided to call it night. Yes, you can argue that these Bond flicks with Craig in them show us him in his early days, what-what, I don’t care! Futi he’s blonde…BLONDE, wtf?

However, because I suffer from a serious case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) I will at some point this week, attempt to re-watch Casino Royale without nodding off and the attempt the Quantum of Solace item and hopefully I will finally “get it”.

There’s No Place like Home: I’ve been getting the strangest looks when asked what I’m doing over the December hols and I respond that I’m going home. I wish I could say the are-you-out-of-freaking-mind looks are coming from non-Zimboes, but Zimboes are quite guilty of it and the usual question that follows this look, “Why?”

I could provide you with a million reasons, ranging from, “Demmit, I miss my mummy’s cooking” to “I need a time-out from this place” but the simple truth here is that I have only one home and right now it may be a broken/shady-ish one, but it’s still my home and no crazy power cuts, gazillion pot-holes, USD2.50 beers (eish) and limited New Year’s Eve activities is gonna change the fact that it's the one place on this earth where the wind knows my name :-)

Here’s wishing you a fantastic week chickens! I know I’ve been slacking on the blogging, but work is a bit of a danger at the moment!
Performance appraisals are right up there on my list of Least Favourite Things in The World, right after beetroot :-S

Love,

V x


PS: I just nabbed this from Eb the Celeb's blog (hehehe, thanks hun) and i think it sums up my approach to my impending performance appraisal...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Chronicles of a Bemused Neophyte


Wow, i truly have this Damsel in Distress routine down pat! For anyone suffering from a saviour-complex, i am a prime candidate for conversion and assistance.

Take today for instance, having some Prince Charming type character around would have been great (personally i think i make a fantastic Lana to an aspiring Clark Kents out there). I had the seemingly easy task of getting from point A to point B, shoot, i even had directions...so please tell me how i ended up driving about 70km in the opposite direction (shall we refer to it as Point Z), out of town??!!! To add insult to injury, when i eventually did manage to turn around, i had to freaking pay a fee at the tollgate, just to get back into the city.

It wasn't all bad, after screaming down the calls and reminding myself that all is still well...sorta, i didn't amazingly manage to get back on the road that took me directly to point B after all.

Given my quick brush with....Durban, lol, i think i will be investing in a GPS navigator 'cause this business of learning the hard way is NOT appreciated! So Santa baby, hope you are listening *wink*

Speaking of Santa, i love, LOVE the commercialisation of christmas! I love seeing christmas lights everywhere, big old christmas trees in the malls and jingles playing over the speakers. Most people abhor this cheesiness, but i love it 'cause i haven't seen it in a while. I now need to organise myself a tree and many, many decorations :-)

On to my thought provoking question: What do YOU want for Christmas (besides World Peace and the end of World Hunger)?

I will tell you mine if you tell me yours :-)

V x

Friday, November 14, 2008

Je ne regrette rien

Many a point in time I have seriously considered tattooing this very phrase on some part of my body as a reminder. A reminder that regret is a futile emotion and generally what’s done is done, all that’s left is to pick up the pieces and move along.

Sober musings for a Friday, this I know, but from time to time high humidity levels (as well as fluffy kittens) have been known to soften my defenses and in certain lighting, make me appear almost human.

That’s when all things that I have actively been trying not to regret chose to camp out in my subconscious until I either acknowledge them or humidity levels drop!

The list is as contradictory as they come, which going back to the title of this post, “ je ne regretted rien” explains why I feel actively musing over a regret is basically a fruitless endeavour!

To give you a sneak snapshot to what the cat drags in when nimbostratus clouds hover ominously, my list goes a little like this:

1 I regret never having loved you.
2 I regret loving you too much.
3 I regret not saying goodbye to you a long time ago.
4 I regret never saying goodbye.
5 I regret not being more understanding and patient.
6 I regret not cutting you off at the knees sooner.
7 I regret being so self-centred.
8 I regret being so self-less.
9 I regret waiting for you.
10 I regret not making you wait.

And the list goes on….

The easiest way to deal with it is to exclaim, “Ah, fcuk it” and remember that tomorrow is another day, a clean slate. Hopefully that will keep that good ole Catholic guilt and self-flagellation at bay.

Like I said, “Je ne regretted rien”…expect maybe what I ate yesterday that’s given me some dodgy gastro what-what :-S

The Official City Welcome: I witnessed a heist earlier this week. It was the most surreal experience. Driving along, minding my own business I noticed a truck about 3 cars up ahead being unloaded by a couple of guys who were working at asuch a pace to transfer the goods to an awaiting car, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Ko, what’s the rush.fellas?” That is until I noticed a couple of other guys laying on the follow…but all I could think was, “That’s odd.”

The final indication that something wasn’t altogether “right” just had to be the one guy waving a gun, warning bells then seriously went off. It took my passenger’s exclaimation, “Shit, it’s a heist” to finally get the pennies dropping.

If I didn’t believe the horror stories before, rest assured, I do now. Nasty reality call :-S

Bumper Sticker that made me laugh this morning: Caution - This Driver Doesn’t Give a Shit Anymore.

Hope you make the most of the weekend, chickens! Be good, and if you can't, at the very least…take pictures ;-)

V x

* No, je ne regrette rien: No, I regret nothing/No regrets

Monday, November 10, 2008

Nomvula (After the Rain)

Hau, why is it everytime it rains, anywhere on the continent of Africa something has to stop working! Last night there was some crazy downpour and this morning, no electricity! Arggggh!

I swear, if i had a landline, it would have also stopped working!

Okay, i'm good now i got that rant out of my system :-)


I love the rain, i feel like its the baptism of the earth (seriously!), i feel it heralds new beginnings and do-overs, coz if there's something i need right about now is a serious do-over. I need to find Life's "refresh" button or something.

Last week was a week of extremely awkward conversations, acute observations, weird prepositions and all that jazz.

I fully intend on spending the rest of 2008 in a drama-free zone (fingers crossed) which means i will have to embrace the hermit-way of life, which i am all for :-)

Here's to 2009....51 days and counting!

Have a great morning chickens!

PS: I am still on that OBAMA high, yay!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Where were you when Obama became the 1st Black President of the United States?

5th November 2008 (05:55am): In the haze of some other screwed up dream i hear my phone's sms tone go off, all i can think of is, "Who the heck is trying to get hold of me at this time of the morning...hope it's not bad news." I roll over to see a text from my sister, now i'm all anxious, what kind of message needs to be sent at this unholy time of the morning. I open the message and see 3 words....3 words that have changed the course of history.



"Obama did it!!!!!!"



Now ladies and gents, i am NOT a morning person, but i was out of bed quicker than you could say, "McCain must be bummed!."

I couldn't believe it at 6am in the morning, and right now i am still reeling from the shock! The impossible has happened, the dreams and hopes of a nation...an entire planet in fact have been realised. It's not only a victory for the Democrats...the Americans...the African Americans but for people of colour everywhere, a black man is now the leader of the free world!

I called everyone in my phone book this morning, the reactions were quite hilarious...clearly some people were in a panic, "Why are you calling so early", some people were not impressed that i had cut into their beauty sleep, "What the heck do you want?" and some were just clueless, lol.


A friend of mine in the States pointed out that she had never received so many calls, text messages and emails from people outside the States in one day, as she put it, "You'd think Obama is President of the World the way people everywhere are so happy."

Guys, people are already arranging Obama victory parties for the weekend, and after work victory drinks. If i had it my way, i wouldn't be at work today....heck, they should just make the today an international holiday or something :-)

I can't help but think back on Martin Luther King Jr's speech and how his dream has come to fruition! Today is a day of Hope...of Pride...a day when the impossible is so possible!



"We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back...

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

....we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children,
black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics,
will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:


Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Monday, November 03, 2008

Just Live Your Life...

Being in the office after such an amazing weekend is such an anti-climax, it actually feels like a far-off dream!

Here are a few observations i made over the weekend:

1. Road trips generally never start on time! There's always "someone" or "some people" who hold the whole trip up!

2. There is such a thing as packing to many shoes :-)

3. KwaZulu Natal (KZN) is NOTORIOUS for their zero-tolerance approach and attitude to driving over the speed limit...my 5-odd traffic fines are testimony to that! I can still see the flashing lightbulbs going off as i whizzed on by, hehehe.

4. Vodka and orange juice are perfectly acceptable breakfast foods and a fabulous way to start the day at 9.00am...just don't climb up anything, drink and then proceed to try and get down from dizzy heights, whilst under the influence...trust me on this one!

5. Swimming with a cozzie on is always optional (especially for midnight dips) , although everyone else on holiday would probably prefer you did put something on.

6. Having sampled the retail fruits of Durban, i will NEVER shop in joburg again! I was overwhelmed by a) the variety of clothes and b) the fact they were at a fraction of the price of what you'd find in Joburg.

7. Eight chicks sharing 3 bathrooms and trying to get ready all at once is...eish, its a challenge but still do-able.


8. I was meant to live by the sea! For someone who comes from a landlocked country, i have a mad affinity for the sea and beach.

9. Zulu men are the Italian men of Africa! Never have i seen and been on the receiving end of such attention. They are fabulous opportunists, never missing the opportunity to holla and let a sista know she's looking fine, lol! It got a bit much when one of the petrol attendants decided to whip out his phone and start takeing pictures of my girls and i, ummmm, creepy!

10. Toll gate charges are freaking daylight robbery mate! Can't believe how much was forked out just to use the road...after 5 toll gates i was gatvol!

11. I feel sorry for anyone not born or living in Africa! I live on the prettiest continent in the world :-)

--------------------------------------------
"No one in the corner got swagger like us":

Chelsea is back on top of the English Premier Leaderboard!

Lewis Hamilton just made history as the world's youngest F1 champion!

What would make my day year, is if Barack Obama is voted in as the President of the United States this week!

Eish, then i would have seen it all!

Vote Obama!

Have a lovely Monday chickens and be good :-)