Monday, October 13, 2008

Too pretty for the job?


This weekend I was hanging out with my mate and our missions were cut short as he had to get back to his place to get the keys from his new helper (read: maid - but he insists on calling her “the helper” – semantics!) who had spent the day sprucing up his place.

As we walked into his place, I was expecting to witness some elderly, matronly looking helper hand over the key. Instead, what I witnessed was some HOT chick masquerading around as a maid! It took my head a good while to wrap around the concept that Miss Malaika here was even the maid to start with, . My mind raced from every other possibility, “Does he have a new chick that I haven’t met or heard of” to “Visiting cousin perhaps.”

Yes, I know I am offending all “helpers” out there by assuming that they all come over as matronly etc…but that’s how I’d rather have them (yes, I did just say that). Since I’ve dug my own grave, I might as well add a nail or two by going on to say that I would also prefer all helpers to be 40 plus, greying at the temples with a missing tooth, or two, is that too much to ask, lol.

No seriously, a smoking hot maid, what’s that about? Judging by the huge smile on my mate’s face when I confronted him about it, I can sorta figure that one out. I was quick to point out that his current squeeze wouldn’t be happy about it, there’s no woman who would be happy with Kerry Washington incarnate prancing around their man’s kitchen, waiting on him hand and foot!

Dude, I don’t have to watch any Nollywood/Africa Magic productions to tell you how twisted this story could get! Forget the movies, I have heard my fair share of suburban urban legends involving the helpers being *ahem* too helpful.

So what do y’all think, can somebody, especially a helper, be too pretty for the job?

No more drama: The beauty of hindsight is should a less than ideal situation present itself once again, history and experience offer enough supporting evidence to make you dismiss the offer in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

I think this is what they call maturity or even wisdom - I simply call it a lesson learned way back when, a lesson that I have no intention of repeating, once was more than enough!

Alrighty then, the work is calling so let me get stuck in!

Enjoy your Monday’s chickens :-)

6 comments:

skc said...

Please forward me the contact details of the recruitment agency that found him his helper.

I need help.

munhu said...

aahh...the hot maid scenario. i feel you about the Kerry Washington incarnates. Reality is the maid has always presented a no-strings attached fantasy relief option to many a curious and hormone laden pubescent boy...getting a hot one later in life is some way of putting paid to those fantasies - in one's mind or if possible - physically. Right or wrong??? You be the judge. Chopping the help is never complication free...Kerry Washington or not !!!

Vimbai said...

Skc: Dude where have you been? Missed your sarcasm laden comments, hehehe. Trust you to ask for the details...you will need to find "help" elsewhere.

Munhu: Right or wrong chichacho? I ain't got no QUALMS axing the help...actually, why would i hire a pretty maid in the first place, hehe.

Kookie said...

Ha Jack that scenario is not even cute. Your sisi (maid, helper) is not meant to be sexy she is meant to clean and be funny and CLEAN...

Vimbai said...

Exactly Kookie! That whole french maid fantasy needs to remain in fantasy land, lol.

Lolo said...

I think you should get yourself a fine mukoma as a helper. I will be visiting you every cleaning day!