Friday, August 29, 2008

Dancing Queen


Tonight is going to be interesting; a night spent doing some Jazz dancing thingy with the girls before we hit the club. I haven’t got two left feet or anything, I am a former ballroom dancing champion of sorts after all – yes, I am a dork like that, what?! Thing is I haven’t done it in a bit and am a bit iffy about who I will end up dancing with.

Unofficial Poll: When is the last time YOU slow danced with someone; significant other or otherwise (those ama-bump and grind moves do not count btw). Drop me a comment outlining when and where this event took place, feed my curiosity.

Very little music being spewed out these days is slow dance conducive! What I found completely ironic is that people are more than happy to hit those bump and grind moves on the dance floor with virtual strangers, but somehow dancing in someone’s arms, cheek-to-cheek is deemed way too intimate (this after having wound one’s a*s in someone’s crotch for half the night, eish, life’s little paradoxes never go unnoticed).

Hopefully I will have something to report come Monday morning.


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So random fact, today is Michael Jackson’s 50th Birthday…can you believe it. Peter Pan personified is getting old, it’s a crying shame! Thought I would right him a love letter of sorts to commemorate the day:

Dearest Michael (MJ)

Happy Birthday mate! It’s hard to comprehend that you’re 50 man, how time flies! So dodgy little boy business and rhinoplasty aside, I just wanted to extend a heartfelt THANK YOU for bringing us some of the most amazing tracks ever, so here it goes:

Michael, every track of yours has been a Thriller, even the Bad ones! Although your behaviour has been at bit Off The Wall in the last 10 years and I find myself asking Why You Wanna Trip On Me? At the end of the day, I must admit, I Just Can’t Stop Loving You!

Where do I even start expressing The Way You Make Me Feel, I can honestly say it’s neither Black or White. I Remember The Time I spent hours upon hours trying to Jam like you, although some moves proved too Dangerous ‘cause they’d result in me limping, or in worst case scenarios, I would leave Blood on The Dance Floor :-S.

Seriously though dude, your music over the years has felt like Another Part of Me and has even proved to be educational (I didn’t even know where Liberia was until Liberian Girl, hahaha). I also admire all your humanitarian attempts to Heal the World, you really forced a lot of people to talk a long hard look at the Man in the Mirror.

I will continue to Keep the Faith that you’ll make a comeback soon, ‘cause you best believe that if you release anything, I will Rock With You and show all those haters who Wanna Be Startin’ Something that you’re the real deal.

I’ve waxed lyrical long enough now, so let me Beat It!

Happy 50th Birthday Michael, may you remain Unbreakable!

Love,

Vimbai (Not your biggest fan, but pretty darn close!)


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It’s time for me to gear-up for the weekend, my advice to the rest of y’all: Go Big, Go Hard, Go Wild (and don’t forget to take pictures *wink*)

Love

V x

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Hair Raising Ordeal



Disclaimer: The following post is not for those who get easily grossed out and/or have weak stomachs (ie if you are planning on eating, have eating or are eating...move on...seriously!).

I am a sucker for hair products, i have put things and done things to my hair that in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have done, all in the name of manageable, shinier, healthier hair.

Anywho, i had this hair stuff that my cousin had got me for from her last trip to ATL and i hadn't got round to using it and sometime last week i decided to try it out!

When i was done putting it in, i got this crazy tingling sensation...but on the packaging of the product, it expressly said that the product was well known for its tingly sensations, so i thought nothing of it! When i woke up the next morning, my scalp felt super tight...like i had gotten braids or something, but once again i thought nothing of it.

So after work earlier this week, i had just got done washing my hair and was now blowing drying it. And then i noticed it....huge dry chunks of what i quickly figured out was my scalp, getting caught in my comb. Panic...panic...panic! This wasn't dandruff people, this was like the shedding of a snake!

That freaking hairfood had literally given me a chemical peel!

I all but squealed for my sister to come over to the bathroom to confirm that a) I wasn't overreacting and b) To assess how bad the damage actually was! I should give her credit, she kept pretty calm and thankfully confirmed that my actual scalp was cool and that none of hair was falling out (didn't feel like being called, "Bald-i-locks and the 3 hairs).

Dr Miracle MY ASS...more like a miracle that my hair is still intact and i don't have f**ked up scalp.

Moral of the story: Stick with what you know, sometimes local is truly lekker!

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Scandalised: Who caught the BBA housemates last night? Hau, i was in shock! Their little "truth or dare" session got out of control. I mean it's only Day 3 and we've already had titties on display and naked males prouncing around for all the world to see! I hope the show hasn't peaked too early, hahaha!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Here Comes The Sun

A bit of a delayed posting on my part, but sometimes life just gets in the way, you know what I mean…

We don’t do things in half measures on this side of the world, and that totally applies to our weather. The transition from summer to winter is similar to being in a dark room and someone throwing the light switch on! Spring, Autumn/Fall….me, I do not know what these seasons are, I just know hot and cold. And right now, it’s all hot!

This weekend the summer skirts where out in full force, the drop-tops were flossing on the roads and predictably, a braai (barbeque) was thrown and plenty of food and drink was had!

Today for the first time since I’ve arrived smack-dab in the middle of a supposedly mild jozi winter, I am not wearing my standard black stockings with my pencil skirt. I am looking at my sickly-yellow looking legs thinking; a) I really need to get some sun soon and b) A trip down to the local beautician for a touch-up wax probably wouldn’t go amiss either :-)


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What is in a Name? Hollywood never lets us down with the crazy names that parents come up with for their unfortunate offspring. The latest victim of such a crime is none other than the latest addition to Gwen Stefani’s clan, “Zuma Nester Rock Rossdale.”

There was lots of confusion on this side of the world as to how Jacob Zuma had managed to get Gwen to name her offspring after him, hahaha. However, it has come to light that Zuma is infact the name of some popular computer game and a beach in Malibu. Eish, either way its still freaking strange, right up there with Pilot Inspecktor and Apple!

Shining Estelle: She brought us the smash hit “American Boy”, although a lot of us loved her way before Kanye knew who she was. But I have to give props to Kanye, John Legend and Estelle of course, ‘cause now that I’ve got my hands on the whole album I am in LURVE with it. I may just have a girl-crush on Estelle, she’s too cool for school man!.

The track I can’t get enough of at the moment is, “More than Friends.” There is a killah lyric in it that cracks me up, it goes like this:
“If I wanted to be part-time
I would be working at the check-out line,
At the liquor store, the picture show
Let me give you a piece of my mind.”
Big Brother Africa 3: Big shout-out to Munya Chidzonga repping for Zim in the latest instalment of the reality show, Big Brother Africa. My DSTV days are slowly coming to an end so will have to get my fix of the show from the website. Either way, he ain’t getting eliminated anytime soon…well not on my watch anyway, lol.

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Announcement: Woza Friday!



"Everybody i'd like to announce
throw your hands up when we in the house
yeah this is hip-hop baby
i'm gonna take you to the tip top baby
& tell your girl that the tickets is out
and we gonna do this till they
kickin' us out
coz this is hip hop baby
I'm gonna take you to the tip top baby"


"Common feat Pharrell 'The Announcement'


I woke up in a supremely good mood this morning, no idea why other than the obvious, it being Friday and all! It does help the days are getting warmer and holiday plans are in the works, bring on the heat!

My internal summer jam mixtape is looking a little something like this at the moment:

1) Jay-Z - "Jockin' Jay-Z"
2) Jesse McCartney - "Leavin'"
3) Common feat Pharrell - "The Announcement"
4) Estelle - "More than Friends"
5) John Legend feat Andre 3000 - "Green Light"
6) Mark Ronson feat Lily Allen - "Oh My God"
7) Keyshia Cole - "Heaven Sent"
8) Lil' Wayne - "A Millie" (and every other remix of it)
9) Jennifer Hudson - "Spotlight"
10) Estelle - "No Substitute Love"


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Before i sign-off and wish you all a wicked weekend, i have to leave you with true gems!

I happened upon these Someecards and to say they're freaking hilarious is an understatement!

There're a few in their collection i really need to send out to a few people *cough*. I wish i could upload the 20-odd cards that are cracking me up, but that would be overkill...so here are a few to whet your appetite and

Enjoy!








Thursday, August 21, 2008

There's something in the water


Baby showers are a staple in my office. I have only been working here for all of 3 months now and have already been invited to at least five baby showers! It's kinda crazy actually.

I can't help but think there's something in the water...no, seriously! How else can you explain why every chick of child-bearing age is getting knocked up in this place. My morning ritual is see how many protruding bellies i can rub and make a wish on before getting to my desk :-)

The feeling of being outnumbered is not unwarranted, take yesterday at lunchtime for instance. There i was sitting on the table with three of my workmates...thing is, all three of them have a bun in the oven.

I pride myself on not being squeamish or easily shocked but after 15mins with these gals talking about....eish, i will spare you the details. Lets just say, by the end of the conversation my legs were tightly crossed and i was seriously making a mental note to get my tubes tied!

Until i met that certain someone who inspires me to belt out the lyrics to Natasha Bedingfield's track appropriately titled , "I wanna have your babies", this particular uterus is gonna remain vacant (knock on wood), thank you very much.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Double, double, toil and trouble :-S


Dear Tum-Tum,

I know it's been a tough couple of hours but i think we're past the worst of it! I really think i could have slept through most of it but your growling and somersaults weren't exactly making it easy.

I would appreciate it if there was no finger pointing, the only reason i ate that piece of chicken was because you insisted i do so!

Yah-yah, i know i shouldn't have got it from that particular place, but clearly hunger clouded my judgement. I should have know from the last time this happened that if a place has NOBODY in it, chances are whatever they are serving is not fit for human consumption!

In future, i promise to treat you with the respect you deserve and hopefully we won't have to have this talk anytime soon.

Love,

V x

PS Don't be surprised if no traffic comes your way today, the queasy feeling hasn't quite left me :-S

Monday, August 18, 2008

Love at First Sight

Freaking heck its cold outside! Not a patch of blue sky in sight, boo! Crazy weather aside, i am in a fantastic mood. My weekend was uber restful and went something like this:


Friday night I got my poker game on! I would be lying if I told you I played like a pro. There I was, the most experienced poker player on the table getting my ass handed to me by a group of newbies. I’m a lousy loser (think John McEnroe to the nth power) so had to chug back the wine to keep the loser blues at bay, in hindsight that probably didn’t help my game. After a few glasses, I was NOICE, swaying in my chair, extremely happy.... and still losing!

Had a pretty uneventful day on Saturday which was more than welcome, given the sleep debt I’ve racked up over the last few months. In between bouts of sleep I managed to put away 6 mini cupcakes in less than 5 minutes (can you say Sugar High), find a new blog to read that I’m obsessed with, discover that Kirsty Coventry had just won a Gold medal for Zimbabwe (YAY!) and catch up on emails.

In between naps, my dreams as usual were crazy, dreamt of an ex boyfriend pitching up at some party I was at as a feral cat(!!!?) and I spent the majority of the dream trying to get him to morph back into human form. In that same dream I also dreamt I found my dream apartment in my dream neighbourhood.

I woke up smiling and grinning like the village idiot until I realised that I didn’t actually have my “dream” apartment. I decided to employ some Alchemist/Eat, Pray, Love tactics and ask the universe what I wanted and hopefully the universe would be reciprocate and hook a sista up!

My bed and I had another lengthy bonding session most of Sunday morning given the crazy cold front weather going on outside. Spring day is in T-minus 14 days and counting, some heat better be heading our way by then! Anywho, braved the cold to go and check out an apartment in my ideal neighbourhood!

The minute I stepped into the apartment every bone in my body screamed, “YES!” It was love at first sight, what is there not to like about high ceilings, parquet flooring, lots of light and LOADS of space. Clearly the universe was sick of me hollering and threw me a bone to keep me quiet.

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Who’s Bad? Caught the film version of Michael Jackson’s video “Bad” over the weekend on VH1. I remember first watching it back in 1987 and thinking that it was the freshest thing I had ever seen! However, having seen it again through older eyes I could help but ask the following:

1) Was Martin Scorsese on crack, casting MJ as some kid from the hood who was a former hood hell raiser? It’s about as believable as Megan Fox playing Mother Theresa in the upcoming documentary based on Mother Theresa’s life (some casting agents have obviously lost the plot);

2) Those dance moves were so cool back in the day, but this time round I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the moves seemed to be strongly influenced by ballet. Dudes, there are as many pirouettes and fluttering movements in this video as there are in a production of The Nut Cracker; and,

3) Don’t you think Wesley Snipe’s character gave in too quickly at the end. Rest assured, I would also give in quickly if a troop of pirouetting gangstas with funky bandanas materialised from nowhere chanting, “You’re doing wrong!”. But i can’t help feeling that a little fist action and exchanging of words wouldn’t go amiss, then again, Martin had probably run out of VCR tape, hehehe.

Okay, let me get back to the daily grind :-S

Friday, August 15, 2008

They call it Comfort Food for a reason

Things came to a head last night, after a week of feeling neither here nor there, lets just say I cracked!

I so not proud about my meltdown, but eish, better it happened at home than in the middle of a meeting at work. The only remedy for this sort of thing is the soothing, patient tones of loved ones....and food.

After a few mini counselling sessions with great mates over the phone, who let me run my mouth ( i don't think i've sworn like that in a loooooooooooooooong long time), i called in the big guns....yup, i ordered in.

After chowing inhaling one huge box of fried chicken (mmmmh) and chips, a crispy greek salad* and a decadent sticky toffee pudding, lets just say life took on a much fresher perspective!

When in doubt, order out!


* I threw that salad in just to make myself feel better about ordering in, haha.

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Stop the B*tch Tagging: There’s some unofficial competition among my mates from high school to see who can post the most embarrassing not only from our high school days but just any pictures.

My 20-odd carefully selected pictures I uploaded showing me and my mates and family at our best have been eclipsed by the 60-odd of us doing Lord-knows-what, wearing Oh-no-she/he-didn’t type clothing in various stages of non-sobriety and adolescence. At least they all depict fun times and are a lovely (if not, cringe worthy) reminder of how far we’ve all come!

B*tch Tag: When a not-so-flattering picture of you is tagged on Facebook, usually by a frenemy..but close friends and relatives have been known to be major offenders too.
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Okay beautiful people, i'm outtie, keep safe and enjoy your weekend !

V x

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Who's Your Daddy?

I’ve been a bit of mess this week, it has been high-highs and low-lows and it doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of letting up either…I am literally exhausted! Sadly dreamland isn’t providing me with any reprieve from all the madness, my dreams have been something out of this world of late.

Take Tueday night’s dream for example. I dreamt* that Obama was my father (don’t ask) and I was helping him write some huge make-or-break speech. The best bit was I remember being out on some grandiose balcony somewhere waving out to the masses, all first-daughter like!

Random, random, random this I know. The heckling from my friends hasn’t stopped. They’ve been asking for demonstrations of this wave of mine, lol.

* Will someone explain why Americans are the ONLY people who insist on saying “dreamed” instead of “dreamt”. Summary outburst, I know, but I had to ask!


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By now I’m guessing you’ve all read about how L’Oreal is in deep doo-doo for changing Ms Knowles’s skin tone quite a few shades lighter than what she normally is in one of their adverts. Not since Michael Jackson has the black community seen such a swift overnight skin tone transformation! Cries against this "white washing" and in general all extreme airbrushing tactics are growing louder.

Somebody has some 'splaining to do!

Like…WHY? Does L'Oreal really think a lighter skinned Beyonce will appeal that much more to the masses? Do you guys remember Whitney Houston’s music video for, “I wanna dance with somebody”, Whitney was so light-skinned in it that she was practically glowing! My seven year old self didn’t think anything of it until I caught her next music video and there was a much darker-skinned Whitney singing back at me, a tad bit confusing that.

The skin lightener industry is alive and kicking, those Nigerian Nollywood movies are true testament that there is a thriving market out there! Clearly not everyone agrees with the sentiment that black is beautiful, boo!

Sadly, mental colonisation is alive and kicking all over the world.

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Olympic Update: Kirsty Coventry is kicking serious ass out there in Beijing with 3 Silver Medals in tow . Great going Kirsty, very nicely done! Go Zim!

Shoutout: I would like to wish my not-so baby sister a Hepi Hepi Bethiday! Love you tonnes and tonnes chica MWAH!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Reconnaissance made easy!


Let's play a little game, shall we?

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with MARRIED!"

The beauty of living in Age of Information is that if you are looking for anything about anyone, chances are, a few key words in a search engine will provide you with a few key answers.

So this past Saturday i was getting my flirt on with, let's call him X. Anywho X was a barrel of laughs and by the end of the night numbers had been swapped, meaningful glances exchanged and i think a bum squeeze was thrown in there somewhere (i can't be sure though, some bits are hazy).

Predictably X hollared the following day and as intrigued i was by him, i couldn't help but think something was up...call it my spidey sense.

During my conversations with X he kept throwing in, quite subtly though, what a bit of a hot shot he was, and how well connected he was. So last night, after a bit of boredom curiosity got the better of me and i googled him.

A few 1000 hits confirmed that he was indeed the hot shot and well-to-do individual he had made himself out to be...what he conveniently forgotten to mention was that he was married!

Tsk tsk, married people (men in particular) should really wear those shiny wedding bands they're issued on the day they give up their single status...better yet, all married individuals should have a big 'M' tattooed on their foreheads so single gals like myself know what is what, innit!

Ah well, there's no love lost, just another eventful day in the big city :-)

Monday, August 11, 2008

Lifestyles of the Young and the Restless


Okay, i have officially come to terms with the fact that there will be no such thing as a lazy, non-eventful weekend in this city...especially with the impending summer weather and vibes coming our way.

I realise now that i am more likely to catch up on sleep and all things rest and relaxation orientated during the week because the weekend is a bit of a lost cause these days.
Here's a list of my weekend observations and heavily edited memories, hehehe.

Friday: Impromptu slumber/sleepovers with your girls will never get old...EVER!

Sometimes great tasting vino doesn't come in the most eye-flattering packaging.

It's still possible to get car-sick past the age of 10 *queasy smile*

When your takeaway delivery comes through in record breaking time, chances are something is either uncooked or missing, boo!

Saturday: Hairdressers are gifts from God! Transforming bird nest's and hot messes into va-va-voom masterpieces!

Black people never arrive on time for ANYTHING (and yes, i am a major offender of this rule myself, hahaha).

Drinking in the sun, without having eaten all day is NOT a good idea. Can you say, "Elegantly Wasted."

Flirting shamelessly is empowering...and usually ends with you getting more attention than you originally anticipated you would get *sly smile*

You can deny all you want, but the proof is in the pudding countless photographs taken of you committing various acts of indecency whether on the dancefloor or ummmm, other places (names will not be mentioned to protect the guilty).

Actively ignoring people is energy and time consuming, it's much easier to inactively ignore them altogether.

Sunday: Drinking loads of lemon tea helps counteract losing one's voice especially if the previous night involved drinking copious amounts of...umm, well alcohol and screeching at the top of one's voice.

Calling up friends to confirm and swap notes as to whether the flashbacks you are getting are accurate recollections is an age-old tradition *cringe*

Indulging in light retail shopping to boost spirit and energy levels is quite acceptable! Especially if purchases involve must-have shoes that are thankfully on sale and a pair or two of summer stunners!

Vegging out in front of the telly early evening and passing out whilst watching Disney channel is a great way to end the weekend :-)
Random Side Note: Before i fell asleep to the sounds of Miley Cyrus, i did a spot of Olympic watching. There are some super fit people out there, then again, if your body was your livelihood you would super fit too. I am SUPER chuffed that Zim has already got one medal from the Olympics, hehehe, Go Kirsty!

Friday, August 08, 2008

I’m Every Woman…& a Rhythmic Gymnast in a past life!

Well depending on who you ask, some might say I’m more woman than most ;-) So tomorrow is Women’s Day, I love that us women have been given a whole day to celebrate our womanly essence (although, let’s not lie, most days belong to women anyway!).

Do you know what would have made tomorrow even better? If it had fallen on a Friday or a Sunday, thus making Monday a day off…who the heck makes Saturday a public holiday, such a waste of time!

Ah well, we’ll make the most of it with many a club paying homage by hosting Ladies-free nights, that’s what I’m talking about!

What do you ladies out there have planned? More importantly, what do YOU fellas reading this have planned for your ladies?

So rumour has it, and by rumour I mean every news and radio channel, that the Olympics kick-off this afternoon at 2pm-ish my time. I don’t about you but I’m not really into this Olympics the way I was into all the previous ones. This one seems to have been eclipsed by all the protesting, athlete’s pulling out for various reasons, yada-yada-yada. This one just leaves a weird taste in my mouth instead of the giddy butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

Granted, I am no longer the bright-eyed youngster eager to watch the whole ceremony, beginning to the end, no matter the time given the dodgy time zones of the host country. I will try and make a concerted effort to catch the Athletics (especially the Pole Vault section, seriously though how cool is it when they propel themselves into the air on a bendy stick, way cool man), Gymnastics (yes, it does qualify as sport), Swimming (there’s something so sexy about any guy doing the Butterfly stroke effortlessly = *drool*) and the Equestrian displays (the pretty horsey’s look so cute all braided up, prancing around quite unnaturally).

On that horsey note, I will wish y'all a fantastic weekend, especially the ladies out there and catch you on the second-half!

V x

PS: I am curious, has anyone reading this ever won a game of Minesweeper….i think it’s impossible unless told otherwise!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Oh Me, Oh My!

The music business is nothing but unpredictable at the moment with people literally diving out of the box , dabbling in every genre and clearly diversifying their musical portfolio’s. Nothing wrong with that, a little confusing at best though, like which genre does Ms Rhianna actually belong in and why does Jesse McCartney look and sound like Robin Thicke these days?

Then there’s the New Kid on the Block, Mark Ronson. Who is this cat? Where did he come from? Actually never mind how he came about, I am just glad he his here, bringing a fresh breeze with his various collaborations with Amy Winehouse, Lupe Fiasco and most recently, with one of my favourite artists, Lily Allen.

I have caught their track once, but once was enough. I am hooked! Get a hold of it if you can. I especially love how the music video features Lily Allen as a Jessica Rabbit type character, it’s just too cool!

"Oh My God" Mark Ronson (feat. Lily Allen)

Time on your side that will never end
The most beautiful thing you can ever spend
But you work in a shirt with your name tag on it
Drifting apart like a plate tectonic

It don't matter to me'
Cos all I wanted to be
Was a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

Too much time spent dragging the past up
I didn't see you not looking when I messed up
Settling down in your early twenties
Sucked more blood than a backstreet dentist

It don't matter to me'
Cos all I wanted to beIs a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

(Chorus)
Oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from homez
And oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home

Great rulers make for greater glory
The only thing growing is our history
Knock me down I'll get right back up again
I'll come back stronger than a powered up Pac-Man

It don't matter to me'
Cos all I wanted to be
Was a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar

(Chorus)
Oh my, god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home
And oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Faulty Tear Ducts & Some Dated BS!

I noticed something weird the other day, I was reading some rather emotional literature and predictably felt the tears welling up in my eyes, Thing is, it wasn’t in both eyes, my left one was misted over whereas the right one was going off like a sprinkler. Rather odd don’t you think?

I feel like those Soapie actresses delivering some heartfelt line (read: spewing forth utter rubbish) while one lone tear emerges from only one eye to travel down her cheek, for extra dramatic effect :-)

The flat/apartment hunt continues with restored enthusiasm, it’s amazing how the thought of having to live out of one’s suitcase for another month can propel one into action. I have some good leads, lets hope that at least one of them fits the bill ‘cause time will be running out soon enough.

It doesn’t help that some of these real estate ladies and gents are clearly not a fan of my, how do I put this, “ethnic” name. It’s extremely sad that in the year 2008, on the continent of Africa nogal, I have to put up with this BS….eish, it’s totally unnecessary and just as unavoidable :-S

I had mates advise me to use my English second name or some made-up name to make enquiries, but my reasoning was, sooner or later they’re going to figure out I’m black innit, so lets keep the BS to a bare minimum. Hopefully, this moral-high ground approach won’t bite me in the you-know-what.

I just had a thought, just imagine every apartment complex, neighbourhood, gated-community in South Africa had to fulfil an Affirmative Action-type ethnic quota….that would be hilarious!

Can you say mass-exodus-to-Australia?!

Anywho, let me get back to the daily grind and figure out if those strikes are happening nearby so i have a perfect excuse to abscond from work...fingers crossed!

Monday, August 04, 2008

She Got That "Handout Booty!"

Hau!

What's with the weather today? This weekend saw the unleashing of the summer skirts, strapless tops and unveiling of lots of leg...but today, today looks like we are regressing back to the middle of June or something!


Utter rubbish!

How was the weekend people? Mine was fairly low key, i need to conserve them dollar-dollar-bills-y'all so i must stay away from all sources of temptation, ie the shopping mall, the club...anywhere really!

Friday was spent reading, yes reading! The week had left me fairly knackered that any thought of leaving the house was quickly scratched! Read me another 100 pages of The Book Thief and then to balance the deep with the not so deep, polished the night off with a Mills and Boon, hahahaha. It's all about the balance!

Saturday went off to the Decorex Expo which was uber cool! You see, i could actually spend money here 'cause i am meant to be buying household appliances. I wish somebody would have pointed out where all the cool stuff was 'cause my mates and i spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time checking out kitchen and bathroom fixtures! A

fter 2hours of walking around and finding some pretty good deals and checking out some eye-candy (although their sexual orientation was a bit ambiguous) we called it a day and headed over to a mate's place were we polished off some of the best chicken curry, a bottle of wine and listened to some old school beats.

The day of rest, Sunday, was spent resting, i finally got to catch up on some sleep. This city is sleep-averse, and i am a lover of all things dreamland related! One of my good friends and i did go out for lunch though (the only thing to distract me from sleeping is an empty, growling stomach) and we were shooting the shit so to speak when i came up with the expression, "Handout booty" which is my latest expression for a chick of somewhat loose morals. Before you know it, i was rapping out some pretty lame lyrics to my debut single, "Handout Booty", LOL. I am ADAMANT that all it takes to make a hit song these days is:

a) A good hook

b) A Timbaland beat

c) Some crazy Souja-Boy-esque dance to accompany the song.


Billboard charts, here i come!

Friday, August 01, 2008

White Lies of a Real Estate Kind

So i'm flat/apartment hunting at the moment and have given myself T-minus 30 days to hook up some suitable dwelling and if yesterday's flat viewing was anything to go by, we're in for a loooooooooooooooong ride people.


Why....WHY do people feel the need to embelish, so badly at that. The way rental ads can exaggerate the features and surroundings of a place are incredible. I heart fell to my shoes BEFORE i even walked into the door...my spidey senses were telling me, "Hell nah." But so not to offend the owner, who was showing me around with such enthusiasm you would have thought he was leasing out the Taj Mahal or something, i had to grin politely and bear it.

Shoe box doesn't even begin to describe the size of it and for the price he was asking, hah!

So the search continues, with much less fervour but as they say, "The show must go on."
Other random ish: My chin is a mess, i am waaaaaaaaaaaay too old to be getting my first hectic breakout at this stage in my life! Oh and got some spooky FB message from some random, unknown male asking me to phone him coz i look cute....i mean, really! What part of that message doesn't scream, 'sociopath/serial killer". The world has some strange people in it mate.
Have a happy, healthy, heavenly weekend people :-)
V x