Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Trimming the hedges

My friends and I were discussing the pros and cons of culling Facebook “friends”. That word “friend” is used way too liberally on Facebook, instead of a notification saying “You have 1 friend request” it should really read, “You have 1 add-me-although-odds-are-high-that-I-either-don’t-know-you-from- Adam-or-we –never-really-spoke-before request.”

Of the 350-plus “friends” I have had added as friends on Facebook, I seriously only communicated with, at the most, 70 of them, so what were the other 230-odd doing there…therein lies the rub!

I have a strict policy against adding people I don’t know at all, it just doesn’t make any sense (well unless you are looking for “random play”). Thing is, that takes care of the unknowns, but it’s when sorting between the actual friends, acquaintances, exes and colleagues that this definition of “friend” gets all blurry and confused.

After doing a quick inventory it appeared if you didn’t fit into my solid classification of “friend”, it was highly likely that these individuals fell into the following categories;

1. You know them but last spoke to them when MC Hammer was rocking them hammer-pants.

2. You know them from high school but cannot recall having any significant conversation or relationship with them.

3. You added them, they accepted, you wished they would reach out…they don’t and that’s it.

4. You dated, but have both since moved on and no longer talk, although there’s no beef.

5. You added them because you have a friend in common, although you are not necessarily friends yourselves.

6. You had a weak moment and added them and now wish you hadn’t.

7. You shared a class/course/lecture in kindergarten/primary school/high school/varsity and that’s pretty much what you have in common.

8. You added them because you worked together at that organisation although you hardly said 5 words to each other then and say even less now!

9. You added them because you are just plain curious about what the heck they are up to; they fulfil your stalker-ish urges.

So the bottom-line is that some people are going to be axed (cue dramatic music) ; some just because I never say anything to them in the first place (and vice versa) and the others because, well, I just have to plain let go of them, one way or another.

6 comments:

munhu said...

there are also those that are friends with others that you are no longer friends with and then act as the conduit through which the ex-friend keeps tabs on your every move...so you remove them to manage the flow of info...

Vimbai said...

EXACTLY! Facebook fulfills ones vicarious, stalker-ish leanings which is never healthy. Believe me, i've done my fair share, but no more :-)

Anita said...

Hmmm...please don't Axe me :(

Vimbai said...

I know ur new name is Hedges but you shall not be trimmed hun. Futi, the culling is over.

Monique said...

Yea, I have a strict policy on Facebook and Myspace about adding folks I don't know: I don't do it. I do monthly scrubs and if you don't hit me up regularly or at all, there's no need for me to keep you as a friend, regardless of if I know you or not.

Vimbai said...

You're my hero :-) I was adding people out some misplaced obligation...but no more. The truth is tho, they won't even notice i've removed them coz they never hit me up in the first place!