Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Death by Hot Chocolate

So after my cringe-worthy encounter with the coffee machine the other day i decided to give it another shot...except this time i decide to forgo the coffee and have some hot chocolate instead.

Four cups later, i realised that this was the beginning of a beautiful relationship...between me and the hot chocolate that is.  Sadly, if i keep this up i fear that the rest of me is gonna morph into chocolate too, lol.

In other news, the new job is going great (hot chocolate aside) and i have no complaints thus far.  Can't help but notice though that the guys in the department are a whole lot friendlier than the chicks, mmmh.  It's like the varsity version of the "Fresher Rush" or something, very very weird and oddly, flattering, lol.

Delayed Response: Grey's Anatomy finale sucked proverbial a*s.  Granted they had to put together a last minute ending what with the writer's strike looming but in January, but eish, it still sucked!

On the Random: Got tickets for SATC premiere tomorrow night, should be whole lot of fun!  I wish the trailer for the movie wasn't so....detailed.  I swear, the 30-second trailer seems to give away waaaaaaaaaaaay too much info about the flick.  I hate it when movie trailers do that.

Monday, May 26, 2008

New Kid On The Block

Nothing like First-Day-On-The-Job jitters to make you feel like your first day at school and remind you that you are the new kid on the block.
Since you only get one chance to make a good first impression, I was determined to let today go off without a hitch. I even did the whole laying-my-clothes-out-the-night-before routine; nothing was left to chance here people. Everything was extremely premeditated and coordinated to give off the image of effortless (*ahem*) grace, lol.

All my preparation did not go to waste as I breezed through the day. The only minor hiccup of the day occurred in front of the coffee machine, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why it wasn’t “working” so to speak. Thankfully, the guy patiently waiting next to me, took pity on me (after chuckling under his breath for 2 minutes *cringe*) and showed me what was up.

The only drawback of returning back to the corporate world and working for The Man is….no more sleeping in! Lord have mercy, I could hardly keep my eyes open at 10am this morning, so much so that I believed that coffee was my only hope (hence, leading to dubious aforementioned coffee incident).

Goodbye severe slacker behaviour, midday lie-ins…welcome 6am wakeup alarms & sub-zero temperatures, urgggggh!

*Mild Digression: I can’t believe NKOTB are back together, the original boy band are back to make us swoon…well I hope they’ll make us swoon rather than not make us wonder who them old geezers on stage are, hehehe. I love you Jordan!!!!

PPS: Grey’s Anatomy Season 4 Finale tonight (well for those of us on this side of the world anyway). There better not be any making up btwn McDreamy & the show’s namesake!!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

"I think a Change, will do you good."

So the transition across the Limpopo was seamless...well if you call the following activities "seamless";

- Being 25kg of excess luggage and trying to bat your eyelashes to the check-in but still to no avail and have to part with some very pretty notes *pout*;

- Sitting in front of 3 noisy brats all under the age of 6 years old who spent the majority of the time kicking my chair, feeling up my arm and screaming very, very loud.  

- Realise mid-flight that i am going to a country where its inhabitants are making it very, very clear they have no love for my countrymen through unspeakable acts of violence...*gulp*

- 30mins on new soil am chanting a mantra, "This is Home now, This is Home now" but can't shake off the overwhelming desire to go and catch next flight home; Am prepared to pick 1 million % inflation over the likelihood of getting lynched in the streets any day.  But suck it up, stiff upper lip and all that.

- Keep feeling like i am a girl from [insert small town of your choice] trying to make it in the big city...very cliche, but if they are gonna make a movie about me in the near future, i am open to Joy Bryant playing me, hehehe.

After 4 hours in new city/country, start chilling out and manage to come up with more pros than cons about my move (yes, i wrote a list)

I am ready to embrace the change, BRING IT!

Have a great weekend people,

V x

Monday, May 19, 2008

Last Victory Lap

Oooh, this was the last weekend home before my big move so it only meant sense to go big right, *ahem*.

Friday: Our first stop was, of course, a visit to the local watering hole. If you couldn't round up troops before leaving the house, without a doubt, ready and willing recruits for a night of debauchery could be found there. So predictable is the crowd there, that if ever a register was to be taken, the usual suspects would definitely appear on it...and i am gonna really miss that.

Cue Music: "Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name (dum, dum, dum). And they're always glad you came (dum dum dum)..."

The last stop of the night was this newish club that we wanted to try out! I had heard some many, not so great things about it, but decided to go and suss it out with the crew. Eish, i should have known that were there's smoke, you are usually gonna find a roaring bonfire. The music was messed up, the bartender was very good at ignoring you and...i am sad to admit, i think there were many working women in the club...actually, i know there were working women in the club coz i overhead a convo between a whole group of them, hehehe. If i am gonna look for positives, ummmm, well they had a huge roomy dancefloor...that sadly, noone was really dancing on, reinforcing my 'messed up music" theory.

Saturday: Twas a none-starter, watched some bad, bad made-for-tv-movies, i love watching poorly made movies, gives me a laugh. Oh and this is the night that me and girls decided to eat our body weight in pizza's...The Itis was a close friend all night long!

Sunday: Graced the inside of a church in what has been too long a hiatus, nice to know some things haven't changed tho. I was extremely excited with all the Shona hymns, they're just so less stuffy & more meaningful than the English ones.

Couldn't help giggling aloud though when after the service, when notices were being given, some church official issued a warning to the sullen youths who sit riiiiiiiiiiiight at the back that it is disrespectful to play cards during the prayer service. I mean honestly, i remember getting into trouble back in the day for playing tic-tac-toe during a service, but to out and out play cards, how cheeky, lol.

The afternoon was spent picnicking on the lawn at home, drinking and laughing with mates in some ultra great weather...i swear, the whole afternoon looked like a scene from one of those contrived Coca Cola adverts. Beautiful people, having a beautiful time and all and all.

I hate drawn out goodbyes, and so do my friends so we promised eachother no goodbyes but rather many "see you laters" instead. After all, i'm not moving to Alaska for goodness sakes, rather a few thousand km's south in the same time zone :-)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sunday Night Poetry IX

So, We'll Go No More A-Roving

So, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears it sheath,
And the soul outwears the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.

Lord Byron (George Gordon)


Everyone Knows This

How am i feeling this morning?
Or is it too early to say?
I check by swallowing
to see if my throat's still sore.
I check by thinking
to see if my brain still hurts.

I'm walking long out of doors,
not feeling anything much,
when it suddenly comes to me:
I don't feel so bad any more.
I think to myself,
"I'll soon put a stop to that!"

Hugo Williams


To Rid Myself of You

To rid myself of you
I went and took a shower.
I scoured most carefully
All the places where

You used to hang around
I unscrewed each ear
And blew through them until
Their galleries were bare.

I took my eyeballs out
And polished them with spit
Until your image fled;
Then to my nostrils put

A little sliver drill,
And after i was through
Those passages retained
Nothing at all of you.

So, why is it at night,
When i cannot sleep,
To my nostrils, eyes and ears
Back again you creep?

Alistair Campbell

Friday, May 16, 2008

TMI: Too Much Information

Warning: Not for sensitive readers

I only put that disclaimer up because there are always a few people that always want to change the subject when this topic comes you have been warned...i don't want any complaints, you here.

Anywho....So how do i put this delicately, mmmh.

For the past few days i have been feeling sluggish, well more sluggish than usual anyway and i finally twigged yesterday that it was 'cause...well...ummm...things hadn't ummm moved in a while.

I was really distressed about his, went and ate bowls and bowls of branflakes and fruit and nothing happened...drank lots of water (lukewarm and hot) and nothing happened. Was now seriously freaking out, for goodness sakes, i jumped up and down the spot for 5 minutes and that didnt help.

Then a good friend of mine had a bright spark, she suggested i drink a mouthful of Castor Oil. I wasn't sure what it was and this point i was running fast out of ideas so i chugged a mouthful of it down....have any of you ever drank Castor Oil, holy moly! It was like drinking liquefied Vaseline, yuck.

Without going into details, lets just say the Castor Oil worked...maybe a little too well in fact.

Have a great weekend everyone,

V x

Monday, May 12, 2008

Upgrade You Me

The Analogy: There i am, sitting in the back row of the economy class in a massive boeing 747 (destination unknown) while watching passengers seated around me get upgraded to first class.

It's a tough thing to endure, especially because i can hear the clinking of champagne glasses and the excited voices of people who were only sitting next to me a moment ago but now enjoying the benefits of life's upgrades.

As happy as i am for all of them, i can't help feel frustrated by the fact that it is all within my grasp, with only a blue cotton curtain and obnoxious airhostess (there's always a hater) standing between me and the place i believe i should be.

All i can wonder is, 'When's life gonna cut me a break?"

Half way through the flight, i have given up all hope of moving anywhere and have decided to make the most of my flight and catch a few zzz's until this ordeal is call over... when i hear my name being called out and see the once hater-airhostess now beckoning me towards the revered blue curtain.

I'm sceptical at first, shocked even, but do what every other person would do in this situation; bolt over to first class before anyone can change their mind.

The End

The Bottom-line: Things are looking up what with me about to start my new job and relocate to a new but familiar city. I feel like i'm in control again. Life has upgraded me, yay :-)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sunday Night Poetry VIII

To all the Mums',
those who are brand new to the club,
and those who are old hats,
those who are with us,
and those who have since passed on.

Happy Mother's Day

You are all greatly appreciated & loved.


Some Days, Mother
(extract: the last four verses)

Some days, mother
when i can find no meaning
even in your existence
when we quarrel and argue
and i really wish i never knew you
when i listen and look at you
and hope i'm not seeing my future
when some other searching
has fuelled rejection

Who else in the world
would just love me again without question?
Who else holds this feeling
that nothing i do can erase?
Who else is simply always there for my story?
Who else, mother? Who else?

Some days, mother,
when i go searching for this kind of loving, you're giving
when i go giving this kind of loving you're teaching
It's like trying to hold
the rainbow that drinks the river
It's like trying to hug
the moonlight that sits on the doorstep
It's like spinning around in circles
and challenging the sky to come falling

So mother, tell me
Who else knows the secret of this deeper loving?
Who else shares the miracle of such tender caring?
Who else is there that knows
of this unstinting supporting?
Who else, mother?
Who else?

Merle Collins

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Much Ado About Nothing

So this pretty little picture to our left has been causing all sorts of problems for Ms Cyrus and my favourite photographer, Anne Leibovitz (her stuff is amazing, see for yourself).

Parents are up in arms, Disney is seeing flames, little Hannah Montana groupies are confused...and what for really? Nothing.

Yes she's 15 and showing her back and draped in a sheet, shocking! Pay a trip to your local mall/shopping centre and i can tell you, the kids there are probably wearing less, lol.

There's nothing Lolita-esque about this picture, its just art, pure and simple.

As for news that should really cause your toes to curl and make you see red, how 'bout that Austrian sex offender bali who locked up his daughter in the cellar for 24yrs while she spawned 7 of his kids under duress.

Now thats a story to get the hairs on your back to stand!

On a random note: I think i'm getting the bloody flu! I am fighting the urge to pop a pill for it, i really want to get rid of it the au natureul way, so any tips as to how to keep it at bay...besides the usual, "Drink lots of fluids" routine", would be greatly appreciated.


Monday, May 05, 2008

The Year of The Cougar

A few nights back, I was having a fat chat with my honey about…eish, well everything and nothing really, when I suddenly piped up, “Babe, am I a cougar?”.

This question had him in stitches, STITCHES!

After realising I was actually being serious he pointed out that cougar is not really a term I want to be calling myself in the not so distant future because, well, its not very nice, secondly it really applies to um, thirsty married women or divorcees between 30’s – 50’s (think Stifler’s mum) and, is supposedly more a cradle-snatcher than a cougar (haha, I could be splitting hairs here).

My honey happily pointed out that he was quite happy I had said cradle-snatching tendencies otherwise we wouldn’t have got back together in the first place (umm, before all your imaginations start running amuck, I will have you all know he’s only a few months younger than me, before you all start picturing me trawling the local all-boys prep schools for bait, lol).

Now, I would be lying through my teeth if I said that my lovely honey is an isolated incidence. You see, what started out as a few isolated cradle-snatching occurrences in varsity, became a bit of a pattern really. My friends were pretty perplexed as to my newfound interest in “younger men”…so was I really, it wasn’t (as I have constantly pointed out) a conscious decision…it just sorta, happened.

I was constantly teased & the butt of many a joke, seriously though, you’d think I was picking up children when in fact these were guys no more than two years younger than me.

Then came the Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher saga, and more recently Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon and all of a sudden cradle snatching is de rigueur and Hollywood is overrun with prowling cougars. This movement has now spilled over into normal society, judging by what I saw after this weekend’s partying.

What a relief, with social cougar-apartheid a thing of the past, there will be less teasing and eyebrow raising… well I hope so anyway, lol.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Sunday Night Poetry VII

This past week has been pretty hectic and tough for some close friends of mine who have lost close family members. I wish them and their families the love and strength to get through this very difficult period.


Going Without Saying
(In Memory of Joe Flynn)

It is a great pity we don't know
When the dead are going to die
So that, over a last companionable
Drink, we could tell them
How much we liked them.

Happy the man who, dying, can
Place his hand on his heart and say;
"At least i didn't neglect to tell
The thrush how beautifully she sings."

Bernard O'Donoghue


The Reassurance

About ten days or so
After we saw you dead
You came back in a dream
I'm alright now you said.

And it was you, although
you were fleshed out again:
You hugged us all round then,
And gave your welcoming beam.

How like you to be kind,
Seeking to reassure.
And, yes, how like my mind
To make itself secure.

Thom Gunn


Sonnet II

Time does not bring relief, you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide...

There are a hundred places where i fear
To go, - so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Good: Go Chelsea!

Ah, nothing like having a few drinks with your mates while your team delivers a great big thumping to the opposition. The drink provided a little dutch courage seeing as we Chelsea supporters were kinda outnumbered last night in the keg, our cheering wasn't received very well judging by the dirty looks and sneering.

But who cares, we won *smug smile*

The Bad: Stuck in a 90's Time-warp

Picture the scene, the year was 1997...except, it wasn't.

I know i'd had a few drinks, but last i checked it was 2008. So why, oh why did everyone in the club i was in look like they'd just walked off the set of Beverly Hills 90210...the high school years (gentlemen complete with a Jason Priestly coiffed-do to add).

After watching the game, my mates and i stumbled into well known Rhodie hangout. It was the closest place for cheapish drinks, what with the keg having closed.

Like raisins in a sugar bowl we weaved our way in the crowed...we stood out for a variety of reasons, one being we wore new millenium type clothes (ah, it appeared the spaghetti strappy tops still lived on & thrived among the regulars in this place) and another being, we were clearly the only people who thought the music sucked!

How much do i hate 90's techno/trance dance music...let me count the ways! Ninety minutes later, i couldn't stand it anymore, i rallied the troops together and went off in search of greener pastures.

The Ugly: Pon da Replay

In the early am, we rocked up at a club we heard had free entry, being the cheapish characters that we were, it became our destination of choice.

I had fond memories of this club, especially music wise, so was fully confident that all would go well...ah, how wrong could i have been.

In the beginning, the DJ played a few popular tracks much to my delight! The crew and i hit the floor to unleash some moves...three tracks in, the DJ started messing up big time playing undanceable songs.

A mate of mine summed it up best when he said, "The DJ is playing music as though he's never danced before." After the DJ played a few more misses rather than hits, we decided to call it a night...or rather, an early morning!

PS Hope you all enjoyed a restful Worker's/May Day off (umm, those who get this day off anyway).