Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sunday Night Poetry V

A Silly Poem

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Spike Milligan


I May, i Might, I Must

If you will tell me why the fen
Appears impassable, I then
Will tell you why I think that I
Can get across it if I try.

Marianne Moore


Hot and Cold

A woman who my mother knows
Came in and took off all her clothes.

Said I, not being very old,
'By golly gosh, you must be cold!'

'No, no!' she cried. 'Indeed I'm not!
I'm feeling devilishly hot!'

Roald Dahl



Democracy will not come
Today, this year
Nor ever
Through compromise and fear.

I have as much right
As the other fellow has
To stand
On my two feet
And own the land.

I tire so of hearing people say,
Let things take their course.
Tomorrow is another day.
I do not need my freedom when I'm dead.
I cannot live on tomorrow's bread.

Is a strong seed
In a great need.

I live here, too.
I want freedom
Just as you.

Langston Hughes

Friday, March 28, 2008

POLL Position

The day of reckoning arrives tomorrow in my lovely country in the form of Elections. Off to polls my countrymen and I will go to cast off ballots and be marked with indelible ink (nothing gets this stuff off, it lingers for days and days!). My guess is that everyone will be wondering the same thing: That come Monday morning, will there be more of the same or something different (good different that is)?

We will wait with bated breath to hear what results. In the meantime however, I have composed a little ditty to mark this very important day *clearing my throat*;

“Hi-ho, Hi-ho,
It’s off to vote we go,
With determination and grit and a ballot slip,
Hi-ho, Hi-ho, Hi-ho.”

Mmmh, not my best work, but it will do :-)

Seriously though, all I ask is that everything goes peacefully; no matter the outcome and that Kenya-esque riots and the like do not ensue, for everyone’s sakes.

God Bless Zimbabwe and all her people!


On a random side note: I would like to give all unborn children thinking of making their grand entrance’s into the world, more specifically this country, come this Saturday a general heads up!

Given previous trends during prior voting days, it’s a well-known fact that Zimbabwean babies born on the day of voting have a high (read: VERY high) likelihood of being unwillingly dubbed with the following names by their loving, yet highly excitable parents:

1) Vote
2) Election
3) Candidate
4) Poll
5) Democracy/Democratic
6) Tally
7) Freedom/Free
8) Obama (there’s always a wildcard in there somewhere)

Don’t say you weren’t duly warned :-)

Have a fantastic and stress-free weekend everyone!

V x

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Are Weddings the new Black?

What the heck is in the water this year?

Everywhere i turn it seems someone is announcing they're getting hitched, are engaged or have proposed. The frequency of such announcements has increased at least tenfold and sadly it has nothing to do with it being a leap year.

This flurry of activity is more a sign of the times...the aging times to be exact. It's another milestone in this journey we call life and acts a reminder that we've all come a long way from losing our milk teeth (a previous milestone).

If my calculations are anything to go by, by June of this year, the ratios will be slowly tilting in favour of the "smug marrieds" and those of us not planning on waltzing down the aisle anytime soon, will be treated like second rate citizens and forced to make ourselves distinguishable in some way to alert all those around us to our unmarried status *cue dimmed lights and loud crashing sounds of cymbals*

Okay, i exaggerate a little, but you get my drift here. It's a lot for a girl to take in, hehehe.

I'm a huge fan of weddings, who isn't a fan of big parties? It's the marriage bit that I've got mixed feelings about. Once again, the stats seem not to favour the happily-ever-after endings, the fact that i seem to know more and more Under-30 divorce(e)s sadly backs up the bleakness of it all.

However, when i do get a phone call or email from a mate or a relative notifying me of their plans to get hitched, i throw all statistics to the wind and rally behind them 100% and pray that their union isn't a passing fad (like being the new black) but is a timeless classic, that never gets outdated!

Monday, March 24, 2008

"Who wants a Clean House Closet?"

Wow, Easter has come and gone and there is still a whole day left in which to recover...although, it has come to my attention that a lot of countries out there don't have Easter Monday off.

To these poor, unfortunate souls..."Chin-up losers!", lol.

I can't believe that Easter is over and i didn't get to consume a chocolate Easter bunny! Tsk tsk, that doesn't seem right. I guess i made up for it somewhat by consuming my weight in hot cross buns (lurve those buns).

Over the long weekend, between the religious meditation (*ahem*) and get togethers, i got the lovely ideas to flog off a lot of my clothes. Sadly, i can't credit the idea as solely mine, i got it from a show i am currently obsessed with called, "Clean House." The basic premise of the show is a crew go in and help some family who live in a clutter etc They have a yardsale to sell off some of the stuff thats sell-able (mmmh, not sure if that's a word) and salvageable to make money to buy this family some new stuff.

My closet was filled to brim with clothes that were waiting for occasions that were yet to happen, stuff that i had never ever worn and stuff that i couldn't fit (i have inherited a pair of hips i didn't have 2 years ago) and shoes that had yet to leave the confines of my room. So i invited some of my girl friends come over to come and pick whatever they wanted (at a price though, hehehe) whilst we distracted the guys by letting them watch the game in the next room, "Go United & Chelsea!".

I managed to part with some pretty lovely pieces *sigh*, but in return i got me some cash, "Dollar, Dollar Bill y'all", so it all worked out in the end :-)

An added bonus is that i got to follow-through with one, if not the only New Year's Resolution i made, to stop getting attached to inanimate objects.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Half An Easter Miracle

When one (ie Me) decides to launch an attack against Technology, lets just say, we all know who'll be losing that battle.

If it wasn't for my current commitment to all things Zen, the last few days would have seen a whole lot of hair pulling, cursing and just general tantrums. Extraordinarily, i have managed to keep it together somewhat, and have been rewarded by The Powers That Be with the privilege of regaining access to my blog = My Half An Easter Miracle.

A Full Easter Miracle, would constitute me being able to access everything else! So excuse me for the erratic blog posting in general until i receive the Full Miracle.

I am looking forward to the long weekend to catch up with friends and generally engage in a lot of consuming of alcohol, although truth be told, being the lightweight i am...that would probably constitute 2 glasses of something. Yes, i know, very pathetic...what can one do!

I will also work in some reflection, contriteness and forgiveness into the weekend to, after all, that's what Easter is all about (and y'all thought it was about the chocolate Easter eggs, lol).

At the risk of sounding redundant, i wish you all a Happy Easter...again.

V x

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I am having super, SUPER problems with Blogger and all things Google at the moment, so no blog posts from me till after Easter. Hopefully i'll back in action then.

Happy Holidays everyone

V x

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sunday Night Poetry IV

I Many Times Thought

I many times thought peace had come
When peace was far away,
As wrecked men deem they sight the land
When far at sea they stay.

And struggle slacker, but to prove,
As hopelessly as I,
That many the fictitious shores
Before the harbor lie.

Emily Dickinson


Biological Reflection

A girl whose cheeks are covered in paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain’t.

Ogden Nash

Sitting on the balcony

Sitting on the balcony
fingering a beer
I have bought
without any intention to drink:
I see a little boy
poking for something
in a refuse dump:
looking for a future?
I am afraid the stars say
your road leads to another
balcony, just like this one:
where you will sit
fingering a beer you bought
without any intention to drink.

Charles Mungoshi


Two Cures for Love

1. Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.
2. The easy way. Get to know him better.

Wendy Cope

Thursday, March 13, 2008

New Meaning to the concept "Toilet Break"

Every other day, you read or hear a story on the news that makes you wonder, WTF?

Today's story did not disappoint.

I tried to make rational sense of it, but it's just one of those gwans* were rationality just didn't come into it.

How does a woman NOT get off the toilet in two years? To the point that the toilet seat is stuck to her tush when the cops get to her.

You could dismiss it as an act of madness, that's all fair and good...but what seriously bugs me, like seriously, is why didn't her boyfriend call the cops in sooner?

Come on, when you realise your girlfriend hasn't left the bathroom in a day, you must think somethings up, two days - you should be week, you should be consulting friends, family, psychiatrists.

For his synapses to only register that something is seriously not right TWO years later, two whole years...i'm starting to think they need to put him away too!

Eish, i am SO weak over this story.

*gwan = Shona slang for story/tidbit.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Whitney Houston once sang belted out those very words, and as yet, I know of no answer to that particular question.

Although, my guess is anywhere where they’re serving alcohol ;-)

A great mate of mine just split with her significant other and it sucks ‘cause I know there’s no quick fix-it solution to getting over a break-up*, no matter what Oprah says! It’s also the most crap thing to watch helplessly while someone is hurting so bad and all you can think up are those terrible cliché’s like, “Time heals all wounds” or “You must know the Dark to appreciate the Light.” However, with all the clichés swimming around your head, all you end up saying is, “I’m so sorry.”

This whole situation got me thinking about all the break-ups I’d been through. It really doesn’t matter whether you are on the receiving end of it, or the one delivering the “it’s over” speech, it just all sucks. However, I have taken away a 3 lessons from break ups.

Lesson 1: There’s Nothing Like a Dramatic (Non-Violent) Finish!

After putting up with a lot of rubbish from now-ex (oh, the stupidity of youth), the tension had built up to what was meant to be a showdown. But I honestly had wasted too much time and energy on this fool, I looked him square in the eye and declared, “Let’s just call it a day” and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. My sources indicate he’s still bewildered by this event, many years on :-)

Lesson 2: Break Ups should NEVER talk place in public areas

Raised voices, loud sobbing, frantic gestures…enough said, let’s keep it behind closed doors people.

Lesson 3: There’s no such thing as “Good Timing” for such things

I had an ex finish with me on a day I was as sick as a dog with some crazy flu, miserable from fighting with a sibling, an emotional wreck because stupidly I’d decided to console myself by watching “Steel Magnolias” on that day (crikey, now that’s a tear jerker of a flick!), by the time he had finished with me, I was like Allure, “All Cried Out.”

To my lovely friend who is hurting like crazy right now, sadly all I can offer you are a handful of clichés, a huge hug, a box of Kleenex and a lot of alcohol*…a real lot. Sadly, some of Life’s tutorials are some hard lessons, but you have to take it all in your stride.

My Disclaimer: Alcohol only numbs the pain. It does not provide any answers or solutions to your predicament, but if you are lucky, for a few glorious hours you will forget your troubles…and quite possibly your name :-)

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Sunday Night Poetry III

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Robert Frost.


My Dream

This is my dream,
It is my own dream,
I dreamt it.
I dreamt that my hair was kempt.
Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

Ogden Nash


My children

I can hear them talking, my children
Fluent English and broken Kurdish.
And whenever I disagree with them
they will comfort each other by saying:
Don’t worry about mum, she’s Kurdish.

Will I be a foreigner in my own home?

Choman Hardi



Sometimes I have wanted
to throw you off
like a heavy coat.

Sometimes I have said
you would not let me
breath or move.

But now that I am free
to chose light clothes
or none at all.

I feel the cold
and all the time I think
how warm it used to be.

Vicki Feaver

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Random Weekday Ramblings

1) Watching any news channel for more than an hour is a very, very sobering experience.

I think The World needs a big hug or something.

2) Fergie's line, "I'm gonna miss you/Like a child misses their blanket" really, really strips her song, "Big Girls Don't Cry" of any real credibility. Its a stupid, awkward line!

3) Embracing the minimalist lifestyle is easier said than done, especially if you are a Bag-Lady-Hoarder like myself? 4 trash bags later and i've barely made a dent *sigh*

4) People need to just leave Madiba/Nelson Mandela alone now, he's such a frail looking old man and he keeps getting dragged out for State events and the like. Makes me furious is all.

5) Why is there suddenly an epidemic of twins in the world? This phenomena is endemic to Hollywood but the rest of the world is catching on. In 50 years time, it will be odd if you don't have a twin or triplet sibling!

6) Nothing is as ego-boosting as fitting into a pair of jeans you owned 10years ago! Sadly, the dated jeans add as a reminder as to how the years have flown by, lol.

7) My Weekly Myth buster : All women are supposedly great multi-taskers....wrong! According to my loved ones, i can't IM and speak on the phone at the same time, lol. Guilty!

Monday, March 03, 2008

A Little Heads Up: A Hater is Born Every 30 Seconds

Haters can be found everywhere, sadly, the blogging world is no exception!

For the last two weeks or so, Blogspot has been hit by Haters who leave comments in the form of links which takes the reader to some virus filled link.

My blog's been hit a few times and i do try to delete these links in time, but just in case i don't get there in time here's what i propose.

Solution: Ignore comments that have links with words like, "Attention", "Here" etc (usually no other writing is included in the comment).

Hopefully Blogger comes up with a solution but until then, that's my two cents on the subject.

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend :-)