Wednesday, December 17, 2008

All i want for Christmas is...

Methinks i left my christmas shopping a little too late, i should have been on it like in October or something.


I am beginning to suspect that 80% of my luggage when heading home will constitute baby clothes...why is everyone breeding? All i know is that by the time i decide to pop a sprog, i best be getting be getting my share of baby paraphernalia from certain parties (you know who you are!).


Yesterday was the Day of Reconciliation...more importantly it was a public holiday that was well spent at a girl friend's catching up on shows and music videos ( i seriously need to get a TV already, its now just plain ridiculous) and trawling the mall in search of a reputable tattoo parloursl.


The mall was INSANE, every Tom, Dick and Chikwama was out and about. I would think that on a holiday, the last place most people would like to be is in a shopping mall. I love my fair share of retail expenditure, but i hate crowds! The most ideal time to shop for me would be on some arb Tuesday at 10am or something. Eish, hameno (i don't know).


We found the tattoo parlour, i actually spotted a few designs i liked. Most of the stuff on show was demonic and crazy looking though, i mean, do people realise this ish is permanent? I am still looking for the least painful and obvious place to put it should i ever get one...any suggestions?


Anywho, it's my second last day at work before i'm officially on holiday, to say i can't wait is a bit of an understatement at this point. When my alarm went off this morning, i spent the first 2 minutes just swearing and complaining out loud at the sheer injustice of having to be at work at all.


Oh, before i sign off, i just wanted to share with y'all what i really, really, really, really want for Christmas this year. I watched the syrupy holiday movie, "This Christmas" yesterday and let's just say, i was inspired.

Columbus Short, here's hoping you pitch up in my non-existant chrismas stocking this christmas...fingers crossed :-)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Things that go Bump in the Night


Drove in this morning and the work car park looks like a deserted graveyard, i was half expecting tumble-weed to come hurtling past! I feel like such a schmuck for being at work, but then, those leave days don't exactly materialise from thin air innit.

It doesn't help that i'm sleep deprived either! Last night one of my neighbours felt that 11pm was a fantastic time to belt out some heavy metal/rock record at full volume. Unfortunately for him, he selected a soundtrack with a lot of lulls in it which did very little to disguise the ooooh-the-earth-is-moving-again moans of his rather enthusiastic female counterpart.

Twas hilarious when i started hearing other people in the complex, rudely awakened too, hurling insults his way, sadly it did nothing to curb the amorous couple and the impromptu tutorial in all things rock continued for another 3 hours! (10 Brownie points to him for his impeccable stamina, hahaha).

So hear i am sitting at my desk trying to come up with a convincing exit strategy...mmmmmh.

"A plague shoe on both your houses": Ah guys, by now you have seen the KILLAH clip of the Iraqui journalist who threw his shoes at Bush after Bush declared during a press conference that, "The Iraqui war is not over." LMAO! That journalist i suspect is now a national hero, by the end of today he'll have a statue mounted of him in the city's square or something. Poor Bush, he never seems to get anything right...i will commend him on his lightning-fast reflexes though, very impressive :-)

Cocoa in Morocco anyone?: A little bit random, but for the last few months I’ve kind of been OBSESSED with all things Moroccan and somehow, someway need to go there in 2009. It’s weird but I also suspect the Universe is kind of pointing me that direction, otherwise how else would you explain the way I keep “randomly” finding articles on Morocco, keep bumping into people heading there or coming from there…the Universe’s forte is definitely not subtlety, that’s for sure.

Have any of been there on holiday…or better yet, are from there? Any feedback on whether the place is actually as awesome as my Casablanca-obsessed-Marrakech-besotted riddled dreams would be great.

Oooh, i just realised today is my last working Monday of the year! Now that is cause for celebrating today. Even better…tomorrow is a public holiday, yay!!!!!

Enjoy your day chickens :-)

Love

V x

Friday, December 12, 2008

Because Chickens Say It Better: TGIF








Have a great weekend chickens :-)
Love,
V x


Monday, December 08, 2008

Pimms for President!

You know that scene in Vanilla Sky (which by the way, i thought was a CRAP movie) when Tom Cruise wakes up and drives around Time Square and there's nobody there and kinda freaks out, that was me this morning.

Okay, i wasn't freaking out but i was SUPER puzzled as to why a) there was very little traffic on the roads and b) ummmm...why there was very little traffic on the roads. Then i realised, most people have already gone on holiday, ahhhhhh, bah humbug mheni!

My mantra of the day: I don't want to be here! I don't want to be here! I don't want to be here!

Maybe if i click my red heels 3 times, i'll find myself back at home, Dorothy-style!

So this weekends shenanigans officially confirmed that the silly season was indeed upon us, which means that all my alter-egos come out to play, which always translates into some sort of trouble.

Take Friday for example! My girls and i went to check out joburg's latest "It" spot for after work drinks, The Rosebank Hotel. Everyone i know you'd been there kept raving on about it, so you can imagine, the bar had been set high (excuse the pun) and thankfully, the place did not disappoint!
So enamoured was i with the 60's themed look that i proceeded to try and drink everything on the cocktail list (i would recommend the Kalahari Collins!). In the 4 odd hours that we were there, i managed to:
1. Give my number to a nice looking man at the bar (nice looking man then proceeded to call on Saturday morning, agh shame);

2. Attempt to moonwalk, MJ-style;

3. Flirt shamelessly with...well, everyone really;

4. Lose my phone...then find my phone...then lose my phone...then find it again; and,

5. Fall asleep at the table, lol (in my defence, it was only for like 5mins).

Ummmm, yah!
Saturday night was no better either! Went through to that Wimbledon-themed event and had my fix of all things Pimms related (yummy)! I did manage to channel to my inner slutty-Russian-tennis player, so successfully in fact, that i tied for first place in the "Best Dressed" category (methinks it was the short skirt that helped me clinch the title).
There was interesting outfits, some people took the theme quite literally...tennis racquets and all, and some people just didn't get the memo, thankfully they were in the minority! Twas a fabulous party all round! Somebody needs to have another theme-styled bash some time soon.

Alrighty then, then daily grind beckons and sadly, i must oblige The Man! Have a fabulous Monday chickens :-)

Love,

V x



Friday, December 05, 2008

"Hey Jim!!"

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, the weekend is upon us, can i get an Amen...actually, can i get a Haaaa-men :-)

Yes, i am still having cravings of an alcoholic kind and tonight i forsee myself doing a bit of cocktail sampling, i need a new signature drink...my passionfruit, lemonade and vodka combo is getting old.

Question: What is YOUR signature drink? Even if it's water (though i strongly doubt there is such a sober blogger in the bloggersphere, hehehe), holla!

Spot the foreigner: Yesterday i found myself killing time around the airport whilst waiting to pick up my sibling. I realised airports are a purgatory of sorts; people waiting to fly out, people waiting to get picked up, people waiting for loved ones, people waiting for just about anything and everything.

The best part about the airports are the reunions! Lordy, i think i got misty-eyed at least twice yesterday whilst witnessing some heart-tugging reunions (i am getting soft in my old age); my favourite was watching this burly, alpha-male looking man reduced to tears when his toddler son ran up to meet him...dude, not even Hallmark could replicate that scene.

Some other notable observations i made whilst digiting* around the airport:

1. The airport has its fair share of random, shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady looking dudes hanging around it!

2. The erotic literature section in CNA (local bookstore chain) is extremely well stocked at the airport...i couldn't help but notice that, tehehehehe.

3. Eye candy is plentiful at the airport, whether its the HOT, rugged foreign-looking dude with the 5 o'clock shadow thing going on (for the Ladies) or the well-turned out, regal looking air hostesses (for the Gents). For people watching activities, the airport is definitely the place to go.

4. Why is everything so FREAKING expensive at the airport? Like at least R10 more expensive? As the first port of call for people entering a new country, you'd think the airport would cut them some slack and hook 'em up! But noooooooooooo, that's the first place they end up getting ripped off, great first impression guys!

5. Waiting for people sucks, i would much rather be the person going somewhere :-)

From Russia with Love: So this weekend i'm attending this themed birthday bash, i love me a good theme but am finding this one challenging, not because i don't know what to wear but because i can't decide WHAT to wear. I love themed parties and take them very, very seriously, hehehe.

So the theme for this one is Wimbeldon. I could either channel some 80's retro look, or some quaint 1920's look, although i am more inclined to morphing into some slutty Russian tennis champ (too many people to pickfrom to channel for this look, lol).

Okay, i am off to grab a bite to eat from the local canteen (i pray there's something edible today).

Hope you have a fantastic weekend chickens, behaving yourselves....yah right!

Holla in the comments :-)

V x

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Bovvered....nah man, i'm downright WARRRIED!

I don't know whether i am officially in holiday mode or whether i have finally hit a brick wall.

All i know is that since 9:00am, all i've wanted is a drink...something strong! Being the cheap date that i am, cough syrup at this point would :-) I don't want to be at work...i don't care if deadlines are for today, tomorrow or whenever.

I am officially warried and this attitude ain't going nowhere until the 5th of January people!

Hehehe, now i am fantasising about owning one of those nifty mini-silver flask and have it attached on a garter belt so i can take quick swigs throughout the day, lol.

I know i'm not alone, after all, y'all probably reading this during office hours instead of doing some constructive work innit, tehehehee.

2008 Annual Self Audit: So i'm performing a self-audit for 2008, and lets just say, things ain't balancing!

Some figures are either waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out or not appearing on the balance sheet like they should! There are more liabilities appearing than actual assets, clearly in 2009 i will need to remedy that...speaking of which, maybe i should work on my goals and resolutions for 2009 - that sounds like a swell way to procrastinate.

Let me go walkabouts, i need to look like am doing something...just think, there are still 5 more hours to my working day, boo!
PS So i found some Someecards that capture exactly how i feel about work in a way that only a Someecard could! Enjoy chickens.




Monday, December 01, 2008

A pinch and a punch....

Dudes, seriously, how are we already in December! It's just too crazy, CRAZY too comprehend how this year has literally flown by!

There's so much that still needs to be done and i've T-minus 30 days and counting till we usher in the New Year, eish, it's a bit of a danger!

I got felt up: This is how sad my love life is, i got cheap thrills from being felt up by the massuese who hooked me up with the most euphoric swedish massage ever this weekend.

Noooooo, there was no happy ending or inappropriate touching-touching, lol. I walked out with a spring in my step, the power of touch is incredible! I would go back for another massage like today, but was told you can't get them too often coz they mess with your Chi?

Unleash the Dragon: This weekend was the annual office party, ie schmoozing with 2000 plus colleagues and honchos. I was scandalised by some of the outfits worn by employees and dates alike! Some people clearly didn't get the memo stressing that was a dressed up event, some people took the dressing up bit too far and looked like they were about to renew their nuptials and then there were the people who arrived not dressed at all given the amount of fabric they had on (supposedly i belonged to latter category, in my defense i didn't think i was showing that much skin, hehehe).

I was more impressed with the BLING that the guys from the office were all of a sudden decked out in; chains, earrings, bracelets, bra Diddy would be so proud. Dress code aside, it was an impressive turnout, the DJ was great, the food aaaaaaaaaite and i managed to drink a few alcoholic beverages and not frisk anyone, so i am mad chuffed :-)

World AIDs Day: Today is a day of rememberence for all those who have lost their lives to AIDS and those who are fighting the daily battle. I seriously doubt there are any individuals living on this earth who have not been affected by this disease either directly or indirectly. We've come a long way since the early 80's when it first came on the scene, however, there's still a lot of stigma surrounding AIDS. The only way to combat AIDs and the ignorance and prejudice that come with it is to increase awareness, keep well informed and not have unprotected sex. The battle is far from over!

Let me get back to the daily grind, just think chickens, there're only 4 more Mondays left in the calendar year, yay!

V x

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Mingers of Christmas Past

December is but a heartbeat away which heralds the beginning of the Silly Season where anything and everything usually goes! Eish, for a particularly holy time of the year I must admit, I have partaken in my fair share of debauchery and random ama-flings, some kinda questionable in hindsight – I blame it on a combination of my single status around this time, and of course, alcohol…lots of it.

A friend and I were shooting the sh*t about our random, cringe-worthy hookups and we realised that the one or two that we each had lurking in our past all happened over the Christmas/December holidays.

Going forward, I hereby dub all such hook-ups over that time of the year, “The Mingers of Christmas Past.”

What’s the Fuss? So the new Bond is out and everyone is raving about Daniel Craig and even going as far as declaring him…the best Bond. What blasphemy!

Am I the ONLY person on this planet who doesn’t see it? He bored the heck out of me in Casino Royale…granted, I only watched 20mins before I fell asleep. I got to the part where in the throes of some frisky behaviour he realised he had to go off and probably kill someone and left a rather unimpressed chick literally gagging for it! When has Bond EVER picked his country over a chick, that’s when I decided to call it night. Yes, you can argue that these Bond flicks with Craig in them show us him in his early days, what-what, I don’t care! Futi he’s blonde…BLONDE, wtf?

However, because I suffer from a serious case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) I will at some point this week, attempt to re-watch Casino Royale without nodding off and the attempt the Quantum of Solace item and hopefully I will finally “get it”.

There’s No Place like Home: I’ve been getting the strangest looks when asked what I’m doing over the December hols and I respond that I’m going home. I wish I could say the are-you-out-of-freaking-mind looks are coming from non-Zimboes, but Zimboes are quite guilty of it and the usual question that follows this look, “Why?”

I could provide you with a million reasons, ranging from, “Demmit, I miss my mummy’s cooking” to “I need a time-out from this place” but the simple truth here is that I have only one home and right now it may be a broken/shady-ish one, but it’s still my home and no crazy power cuts, gazillion pot-holes, USD2.50 beers (eish) and limited New Year’s Eve activities is gonna change the fact that it's the one place on this earth where the wind knows my name :-)

Here’s wishing you a fantastic week chickens! I know I’ve been slacking on the blogging, but work is a bit of a danger at the moment!
Performance appraisals are right up there on my list of Least Favourite Things in The World, right after beetroot :-S

Love,

V x


PS: I just nabbed this from Eb the Celeb's blog (hehehe, thanks hun) and i think it sums up my approach to my impending performance appraisal...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Chronicles of a Bemused Neophyte


Wow, i truly have this Damsel in Distress routine down pat! For anyone suffering from a saviour-complex, i am a prime candidate for conversion and assistance.

Take today for instance, having some Prince Charming type character around would have been great (personally i think i make a fantastic Lana to an aspiring Clark Kents out there). I had the seemingly easy task of getting from point A to point B, shoot, i even had directions...so please tell me how i ended up driving about 70km in the opposite direction (shall we refer to it as Point Z), out of town??!!! To add insult to injury, when i eventually did manage to turn around, i had to freaking pay a fee at the tollgate, just to get back into the city.

It wasn't all bad, after screaming down the calls and reminding myself that all is still well...sorta, i didn't amazingly manage to get back on the road that took me directly to point B after all.

Given my quick brush with....Durban, lol, i think i will be investing in a GPS navigator 'cause this business of learning the hard way is NOT appreciated! So Santa baby, hope you are listening *wink*

Speaking of Santa, i love, LOVE the commercialisation of christmas! I love seeing christmas lights everywhere, big old christmas trees in the malls and jingles playing over the speakers. Most people abhor this cheesiness, but i love it 'cause i haven't seen it in a while. I now need to organise myself a tree and many, many decorations :-)

On to my thought provoking question: What do YOU want for Christmas (besides World Peace and the end of World Hunger)?

I will tell you mine if you tell me yours :-)

V x

Friday, November 14, 2008

Je ne regrette rien

Many a point in time I have seriously considered tattooing this very phrase on some part of my body as a reminder. A reminder that regret is a futile emotion and generally what’s done is done, all that’s left is to pick up the pieces and move along.

Sober musings for a Friday, this I know, but from time to time high humidity levels (as well as fluffy kittens) have been known to soften my defenses and in certain lighting, make me appear almost human.

That’s when all things that I have actively been trying not to regret chose to camp out in my subconscious until I either acknowledge them or humidity levels drop!

The list is as contradictory as they come, which going back to the title of this post, “ je ne regretted rien” explains why I feel actively musing over a regret is basically a fruitless endeavour!

To give you a sneak snapshot to what the cat drags in when nimbostratus clouds hover ominously, my list goes a little like this:

1 I regret never having loved you.
2 I regret loving you too much.
3 I regret not saying goodbye to you a long time ago.
4 I regret never saying goodbye.
5 I regret not being more understanding and patient.
6 I regret not cutting you off at the knees sooner.
7 I regret being so self-centred.
8 I regret being so self-less.
9 I regret waiting for you.
10 I regret not making you wait.

And the list goes on….

The easiest way to deal with it is to exclaim, “Ah, fcuk it” and remember that tomorrow is another day, a clean slate. Hopefully that will keep that good ole Catholic guilt and self-flagellation at bay.

Like I said, “Je ne regretted rien”…expect maybe what I ate yesterday that’s given me some dodgy gastro what-what :-S

The Official City Welcome: I witnessed a heist earlier this week. It was the most surreal experience. Driving along, minding my own business I noticed a truck about 3 cars up ahead being unloaded by a couple of guys who were working at asuch a pace to transfer the goods to an awaiting car, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Ko, what’s the rush.fellas?” That is until I noticed a couple of other guys laying on the follow…but all I could think was, “That’s odd.”

The final indication that something wasn’t altogether “right” just had to be the one guy waving a gun, warning bells then seriously went off. It took my passenger’s exclaimation, “Shit, it’s a heist” to finally get the pennies dropping.

If I didn’t believe the horror stories before, rest assured, I do now. Nasty reality call :-S

Bumper Sticker that made me laugh this morning: Caution - This Driver Doesn’t Give a Shit Anymore.

Hope you make the most of the weekend, chickens! Be good, and if you can't, at the very least…take pictures ;-)

V x

* No, je ne regrette rien: No, I regret nothing/No regrets

Monday, November 10, 2008

Nomvula (After the Rain)

Hau, why is it everytime it rains, anywhere on the continent of Africa something has to stop working! Last night there was some crazy downpour and this morning, no electricity! Arggggh!

I swear, if i had a landline, it would have also stopped working!

Okay, i'm good now i got that rant out of my system :-)


I love the rain, i feel like its the baptism of the earth (seriously!), i feel it heralds new beginnings and do-overs, coz if there's something i need right about now is a serious do-over. I need to find Life's "refresh" button or something.

Last week was a week of extremely awkward conversations, acute observations, weird prepositions and all that jazz.

I fully intend on spending the rest of 2008 in a drama-free zone (fingers crossed) which means i will have to embrace the hermit-way of life, which i am all for :-)

Here's to 2009....51 days and counting!

Have a great morning chickens!

PS: I am still on that OBAMA high, yay!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Where were you when Obama became the 1st Black President of the United States?

5th November 2008 (05:55am): In the haze of some other screwed up dream i hear my phone's sms tone go off, all i can think of is, "Who the heck is trying to get hold of me at this time of the morning...hope it's not bad news." I roll over to see a text from my sister, now i'm all anxious, what kind of message needs to be sent at this unholy time of the morning. I open the message and see 3 words....3 words that have changed the course of history.



"Obama did it!!!!!!"



Now ladies and gents, i am NOT a morning person, but i was out of bed quicker than you could say, "McCain must be bummed!."

I couldn't believe it at 6am in the morning, and right now i am still reeling from the shock! The impossible has happened, the dreams and hopes of a nation...an entire planet in fact have been realised. It's not only a victory for the Democrats...the Americans...the African Americans but for people of colour everywhere, a black man is now the leader of the free world!

I called everyone in my phone book this morning, the reactions were quite hilarious...clearly some people were in a panic, "Why are you calling so early", some people were not impressed that i had cut into their beauty sleep, "What the heck do you want?" and some were just clueless, lol.


A friend of mine in the States pointed out that she had never received so many calls, text messages and emails from people outside the States in one day, as she put it, "You'd think Obama is President of the World the way people everywhere are so happy."

Guys, people are already arranging Obama victory parties for the weekend, and after work victory drinks. If i had it my way, i wouldn't be at work today....heck, they should just make the today an international holiday or something :-)

I can't help but think back on Martin Luther King Jr's speech and how his dream has come to fruition! Today is a day of Hope...of Pride...a day when the impossible is so possible!



"We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back...

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

....we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children,
black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics,
will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:


Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Monday, November 03, 2008

Just Live Your Life...

Being in the office after such an amazing weekend is such an anti-climax, it actually feels like a far-off dream!

Here are a few observations i made over the weekend:

1. Road trips generally never start on time! There's always "someone" or "some people" who hold the whole trip up!

2. There is such a thing as packing to many shoes :-)

3. KwaZulu Natal (KZN) is NOTORIOUS for their zero-tolerance approach and attitude to driving over the speed limit...my 5-odd traffic fines are testimony to that! I can still see the flashing lightbulbs going off as i whizzed on by, hehehe.

4. Vodka and orange juice are perfectly acceptable breakfast foods and a fabulous way to start the day at 9.00am...just don't climb up anything, drink and then proceed to try and get down from dizzy heights, whilst under the influence...trust me on this one!

5. Swimming with a cozzie on is always optional (especially for midnight dips) , although everyone else on holiday would probably prefer you did put something on.

6. Having sampled the retail fruits of Durban, i will NEVER shop in joburg again! I was overwhelmed by a) the variety of clothes and b) the fact they were at a fraction of the price of what you'd find in Joburg.

7. Eight chicks sharing 3 bathrooms and trying to get ready all at once is...eish, its a challenge but still do-able.


8. I was meant to live by the sea! For someone who comes from a landlocked country, i have a mad affinity for the sea and beach.

9. Zulu men are the Italian men of Africa! Never have i seen and been on the receiving end of such attention. They are fabulous opportunists, never missing the opportunity to holla and let a sista know she's looking fine, lol! It got a bit much when one of the petrol attendants decided to whip out his phone and start takeing pictures of my girls and i, ummmm, creepy!

10. Toll gate charges are freaking daylight robbery mate! Can't believe how much was forked out just to use the road...after 5 toll gates i was gatvol!

11. I feel sorry for anyone not born or living in Africa! I live on the prettiest continent in the world :-)

--------------------------------------------
"No one in the corner got swagger like us":

Chelsea is back on top of the English Premier Leaderboard!

Lewis Hamilton just made history as the world's youngest F1 champion!

What would make my day year, is if Barack Obama is voted in as the President of the United States this week!

Eish, then i would have seen it all!

Vote Obama!

Have a lovely Monday chickens and be good :-)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

3 Sleeps...

I can't wait, i can't wait, i can't wait, 3 sleeps and i will be chilling on a beach sipping on something strongly alcoholic whilst soaking up some rays of Vitamin D!


Road trips seriously rock! I have one memory of heading out for the weekend with friends and a trip that should have taken two hours, took about four due to a thousand bathroom breaks, drink breaks, and generally dancing on the side of the road breaks - ah memories.


So with deadlines looming and work days ending at 9pm, my mantra is, "This too shall pass....and you'll be on a beach just now" :-)


I see dead people: Nothing to sober you up whilst driving to work like seeing a dead body lying on the side of the road. Now it could have just been some guy taking a nap at 9am, but the flashing ambulance parked on the side of the road and the paramedics looking down at the body, without actually doing anything or looking frantic, were all bit of a giveaway.

That sight made me so sad on so many levels :-S

Sometimes, more times than i would like to admit, this city...this world just freaks me the hell out!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

“Sleep no more, Macbeth Work hath murdered sleep!”

Found another grey hair yesterday, eeek! I actually thought it was fluff or something, spent a good 2mins trying to brush it out, only for the cold hard truth to dawn! Nice one, I get another grey hair exactly a week after turning 27, someone somewhere is trying to tell me something, lol.

The current project I am working on is an effing nightmare, its no surprise I am sprouting grey hairs. I keep telling myself it will all be over this time next week, but for now, I’m in the thick of things! My eyes are constantly bleary (staring at a computer for more than half a day will do that) , I’m extremely irritable and snappy, eating regular meals is a thing of the past, I suspect my hair is falling out (ontop of greying that is) and my dreams have been plagued with visions of incorrect spreadsheets and livid clients!

One more day and then I get a break from this living purgatory:-S

Bromosexuals are the new Metrosexuals: According to a certain popular magazine that will remain unnamed (I am too shy to admit I spent good money on this fluff), Bromosexual is the term used to describe a man who puts his boys before any woman he may be dating, essentially, he’s a straight man who has mad love for his boys, “boys before hoes” and all that jazz.

I found this term hilarious ‘cause in my youth I remember dating such a character, I swear, I would pitch up at his house and his whole entourage would be there, I found myself whinging about things like, “How come I never get you alone” and “Do your boys ALWAYS have to do stuff with us?”

Inga Rather: Yesterday I was paid a compliment of sorts; I was told I was an itch this individual couldn’t scratch. I think I may have even blushed, lol.
PS Another funny i got in the mail, lol. Enjoy!




Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Can I get an Encore? (Pretty Please)

Moving forward my birthday celebrations to Saturday was definitely one of my finer decisions!

To say it was off the hook is putting it mildly! Drinks, many drinks, were consumed! My people came through, and bless their cotton socks, they came bearing gifts too – that was probably coz I had a disclaimer at the bottom of my invitation saying “Gifts are mandatory”. Hey, if you want something you let the universe know, lol.

The highlight was going out after spending about 8hrs of drinking and monopolising the restaurant we were at. The club that we (read: those that did not fade) ventured to was historically known for not playing the music that I wanted to hear, ie Hiphop and RnB. So imagine my dismay when pitching up there at 11.30pm, to hear some trancy/electro house something playing….this after I had double checked with the bouncer at the door that my music would be played. After a few talks with DJ, my fears (and sulking) were put to rest and I was assured that the bouncers were not lying.

At the stroke of midnight, the heavens opened and some dirrrty south notes descended down to the floor and everyone got down. Some of us (read: me) didn’t get off the floor for 3 ½ hours…I know this because some “supposed” British record producer who had apparently taken a liking to me decided to quickly point this out during one of my rare 1 minute breathers, lol.

I was in my element – great company, flowing drinks and best all, fantastic music!

I’m still buzzing from the fun I had, this weekend it’s on!

Bullsh*t Filter: I’ve been pretty accommodating about some of the burrish (rubbish) coming my way of late, and trust me, it’s like I’ve been singled out for maratas in the last month.

But no more! Handichada!

I am just too grown to be told what I can or cannot do. I will respectfully listen to everyone’s point of view, but what I decide to do with that information, well, that remains to be seen or in some cases unseen

Okay let me sign off, the 9 to 5’s a-calling!

PS: I love this poster I was sent, it sums up what I currently feel about working life, lol.

Friday, October 17, 2008

100% bru!

Right now i'm working with a guy who constantly says, "100%" in place of, "That's cool" or "No worries". I find it absolutely hilarious. And now some of my mate's are using it and think it sounds...retarded actually, lol.

Watch, i am probably gonna start using it myself just now, "When in Rome, do as the Romans."

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Hoza Friday people! I am so very happy to see the back of this week. It's been crazy at best, not only work wise but otherwise too.

Indecent Proposal: I don't know what kinda of pheromones i'm giving out this week, or whether i have a sign written on my forehead that screams, "Please preposition me for s*x!".
Hameno man, but its kind of funny, in a "haha, you wish" kind of way.

Have you heard it: Ooooooh, you can hate all you want but when Beyonce puts down a track, she's gives it her all...100% even, hehehehe. I heard her single "Single Ladies" in the car on the way to work this morning and was bouncing all over my seat! I can't wait for her new album man!

I do have a question though, B's always singing about "To the Left" type scenarios, but ummmm, either she's getting fodder from her girlfriends coz she's been with Jay since the break of dawn saka when exactly did she find herself in such scenarios. Then again, she's probably got some pretty angsty song writers to provide her with the fodder, hehehehe.

Okay chickens, have a lovely weekend and be good!

Love

V x

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Cake anyone?

"I grow old.. i grow old,
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."

T. S. Eliot - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock


It's my birthday today, which always puts me in a FANTASTIC mood. What's not to like, a whole day were i am the centre of attention :-) The calls and smses have been streaming in since 5.30am, eish, but i'm feeling the love.

Pity i'm working a 12hr day, there is no rest for the wicked (read: there is no rest for the slave to The Man). I plan on compensating for my inactivity today, in regards to all things alcoholic and party-based, over the weekend! It should be lekker like a fire cracker.


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League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Women: Driving to work today i was listening to some radio DJ discussing the demise of Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage and he pointed out that the underlying problem has always had to do with the fact that Guy Ritchie has never and will never be in Madonna's league, no matter how successful he gets or how much Madonna plays down the fact that she's famous.

Do people actually buy into the they-aren't-in-your-league premise of thinking, especially in the love interest in question is supposedly unattainable? Personally, i think its all a whole load of hogwash...if you want to put people on pedestal's go right ahead but you aint doing yourself any favours. How does that saying go, "Aim for the moon, if you miss, at least you are among the stars."

Let me know what your take is on this whole "out of your league"business!

Later chickens,

V x

PS: Got sent this hilarious cartoon below, enjoy!



Monday, October 13, 2008

Too pretty for the job?


This weekend I was hanging out with my mate and our missions were cut short as he had to get back to his place to get the keys from his new helper (read: maid - but he insists on calling her “the helper” – semantics!) who had spent the day sprucing up his place.

As we walked into his place, I was expecting to witness some elderly, matronly looking helper hand over the key. Instead, what I witnessed was some HOT chick masquerading around as a maid! It took my head a good while to wrap around the concept that Miss Malaika here was even the maid to start with, . My mind raced from every other possibility, “Does he have a new chick that I haven’t met or heard of” to “Visiting cousin perhaps.”

Yes, I know I am offending all “helpers” out there by assuming that they all come over as matronly etc…but that’s how I’d rather have them (yes, I did just say that). Since I’ve dug my own grave, I might as well add a nail or two by going on to say that I would also prefer all helpers to be 40 plus, greying at the temples with a missing tooth, or two, is that too much to ask, lol.

No seriously, a smoking hot maid, what’s that about? Judging by the huge smile on my mate’s face when I confronted him about it, I can sorta figure that one out. I was quick to point out that his current squeeze wouldn’t be happy about it, there’s no woman who would be happy with Kerry Washington incarnate prancing around their man’s kitchen, waiting on him hand and foot!

Dude, I don’t have to watch any Nollywood/Africa Magic productions to tell you how twisted this story could get! Forget the movies, I have heard my fair share of suburban urban legends involving the helpers being *ahem* too helpful.

So what do y’all think, can somebody, especially a helper, be too pretty for the job?

No more drama: The beauty of hindsight is should a less than ideal situation present itself once again, history and experience offer enough supporting evidence to make you dismiss the offer in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

I think this is what they call maturity or even wisdom - I simply call it a lesson learned way back when, a lesson that I have no intention of repeating, once was more than enough!

Alrighty then, the work is calling so let me get stuck in!

Enjoy your Monday’s chickens :-)

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Is it Friday yet?


You know you are having a crazy week when you are burnt out...and it's only Tuesday and all you can think of is Friday evening, your oasis, far from the madding crowd.

Guys, i have seen flames this week, FLAMES!

All i can hear is Spiderman's aged-grandmother croaking away, "With great power, comes great responsibility"!

Warried for the responsibility bit, just give me the power...and the big cheques and i will be a very, very happy girl.

This week has given me a bit of reprieve (Amen) in the form of training! So i've traded in one hell (people on my case 24-7) for sheer, facking boredom. I love how they try to spice it up though, with all these cool (read: lame) icebreakers...how many times must the ice be broken, seriously? Yesterday's question was, "Describe which Hollywood Star best describes you"....are you kidding me?

The responses ranged from the hilarious (Lassie), to the absurd (a cross between Vin Diesel and Michelle Pfeiffer...i don't know either!). Some people out rightly refused to engage in this breaking of the ice and claimed that they either, a) Didn't watch TV or the movies (but i 'm sure that's a copy of Heat i saw you with earlier, suspect!) or just flatly refused to play along, claiming that Hollywood didn't have anybody who embodied them, physically or otherwise (spoil sports!).

If you are all wondering, i chose Scarlett Johannsson. Yes, i know i am not blonde or caucasian but i .....a) Love that girl's style, b) Love ALL her movies and c)Think her husbands hot (who could forget him in Van Wilder: Party Liason, hehehe).

I would have said Sanaa Latham, but i didn't have the energy to field the "Who the heck is that" questions...you must remember my audience after all.

Hopefully today's session goes by swiftly, wish me luck!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Game recognise Game...well, sometimes anyway :-S


It’s an unwritten rule: Wear a short skirt and you will receive lots of attention, 95% of which is unwanted, unwarranted and unecessary.

I heard my fair share of “game” on Friday night, most all of which was lame, the kind where I had to patiently nod my way through whilst sending pleading looks across the room to male friends to come and hit a “rescue” mission.
Word to the wise, when trying to hold a lady’s attention, do NOT do the following:

Tell me how you made R80k this week? Whoopee twang!
Keep telling me over and over again, what car you drive, where you live….blah blah blah.
Give me your entire life story, I just don’t know you that well…and a little mystery and intrigue goes a long way.
Tell me how much you love your girlfriend, and in the same breath, declare your new-found love for me.
Leer….nothing attractive in leering mate, enough said.
Grab/poke/pull/smack ANY part of me…not cool, ever!

My skirt has officially been retired until further notice, I’ve had enough manhandling to last me a lifetime.

De-ja Vu: It’s happening, I can feel it! It started 6 years ago and it seems to be getting worse. I literally get depressed a few days before my birthday, but now it’s happening a whole two weeks before my birthday, not just a few days It’s kind of ironic, ‘cause I LURVE my birthday but at the same time, as the day’s drawing up to it, I start doing some mental inventory of what I’ve achieved….or rather not achieved and like Flo Rida, I get “Low”.

I know it’s totally irrational, I’m so over this whole 20-something crisis!

Get Ur Freak On: Any Jozi readers go to the Sexpo at Gallagher Estates this weekend? At R100 a ticket, nobody I knew was willing to fork-out that amount to walk around and look at “things”. So let me know if any of you went and don’t be stingy with the details ka!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

My Roora/Lobola* has dropped 10 Base Points with this Post

The art of culinary delight is an absolute mystery to me! What i don't get is, why people enjoy cooking...i don't get it, never have and clearly, never will.

I believe my hang-up over cooking has pyschological ground, ie i blame my mother, lol. Like all African mothers raising girls, my mother was very quick to tell me when i was growing up that i need to learn to cook to feed my husband!

Little did she know that she was up against something fierce - an 11 year old female who had feminist-ish leanings. I grew to intensely resent my imaginary future husband to the point that i wrote a 4-page letter to my mother detailing that i should not be made to do something for someone who does not exist and that we all have our talents and clearly cooking isn't mine so we shouldn't force such matters! Yes, i was a cheeky bugger :-)

Now, you don't go around telling (even in flowery letters) African mother's that you won't do something they're asking you to do. Usually such conversations would result with me being knocked into the middle of next week and meekly giving-in while rubbing my smarting backside. However, that did not happen...my mother actually said she wouldn't force me to cook**, but put a disclaimer that this would all inevitably come back to bite me in the ass eventually.


Fast forward a decade and a bit later and let's just say, my ass has been bitten chomped!
Don't get me wrong, i'm not a total loser...i can boil water without burning it, know the basics...can chop ish like a pro...but i just have no idea what spices go with what most of the time and i only a few basic dishes to my name, that i have perfected. I find the whole waiting for things to saute, simmer, roast, grill sooooooooooooooooooooooooo tedious. I've tried to make it fun, cross my heart i have...but eish, it's a danger!

I know that something needs to be done, so i have called up reenforcements...ie very good friends who take pity on my plight and offered their culinary expertise to ensure i never again use marmalade in a chicken dish (don't ask, that's a story for another day).

Ironically, i can bake like a pro and don't find it boring at all...hehehe, "Give them cake!"

*Roora/Lobola: For anyone reading this who doesn't know what those two terms mean, Roora/Lobola in English would be called a "bride price". In most, if not all, African cultures the prospective groom must present the bride's family with some pretty pennies/livestock/merchandise for the bride's hand in marriage.

Historically, this was meant as a gesture, or token of respect to the bride's family for raising her well and is not meant to be equate to the monetary equivalent of what the bride is "meant" to cost. Although, in this materiday and age, i have heard some horror stories of grooms having to pay with as much as USD$20,000...eeek! (i bet he's was probably thinking, "She better $%#@ing cook like a pro!" when he parted with them dollar bills)

** Honestly speaking, i think my mother was thinking along the lines that at least two of her three daughters knew how to cook and a dishewasher was always needed (a role that i grew to excel at and love, lol).

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Raisin in the Sugar Bowl: So there i was in a departmental meeting with all my peers blissfully chowing on my danish custard (you gotta love breakfast meetings) and trying to concentrate on what the Big Boss is saying when i my colleague on my left leans over and is like, "Psssst, do you notice anything strange in this meeting?" I am about to reply something like, "Ummmm, they're serving lemon-poppy seed muffins today instead of their usual bran muffins" when he continues, "Do you realise we're the only two black people in this meeting and you are one of three females in this meeting? Something's not right."

Note, this was a meeting of at least 50 people!

I know that in South Africa they've got a whole bunch of equal opportunity initiatives in the form of EE/AA and BEE...but dudes, seriously, that meeting was not a clear reflection of the demographic of the a) The country and b) The continent!

Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark Africa.

As one of my good friend's Facebook status's recently read, "I am tired of being the only darkie representative in company meetings, something needs to change!"

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Monday, September 29, 2008

Monday Mellow Madness


Friday evening met up with some mates for after work drinks. Twas cool, the place was PACKED, getting a table was like find a golden goose egg. After securing our golden goose egg we tossed back the drinks and did some people watching.

At some point in the evening a gaggle of chicks arrived, nothing new i know, but one of them then let out a blood curdling squeal. So the whole place kinda stops and turns with obvious interest to see what the screaming's about, only to notice that there's a hair piece on the floor, a sheepish looking guy, a very traumatised chick grabbing at her head and then a bit of a scuffle where friends of traumatised chick then whisk her off to the bathroom.

That's when the laughing began!

Firstly, why did the guy feel the need to actually pull off her wig...it didn't look like it happened in malice, more like he was kidding around, but sha!!!!!!! *cringe*.

I must give the girl kudos for even coming out of the bathroom and continuing as though nothing had happened, bravo, she's clearly made of sterner stuff. If that was me (given that i also have a soft-spot for hair pieces from time to time), eish, i would have called it a night and escaped under cloak of darkness!


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Crapola: Okay, why wasn't i told that jozi had spiders?! Yah, i know the odds were not in my favour, me still being on the continent of Africa and all, and spiders clearly being native to the region.

But i was hoping that jozi was too metropolitan and urban for these things to survive here. Clearly my having to take out like 3 in my bathroom last night put that myth in my head to rest. Can someone explain why spiders are so freaking fond of bathrooms?????
Heightened Awareness = It's like when your love interest drives a certain car and then all of a sudden all you see is that car on the road...except, in this case it looks like every Tom, Dick and Chikwama has my car, same colour and everything! Boo!
Enjoy your Monday morning chickens!

Keep the Faith & Fight the Power!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Primping + Preening = Pain in the Posterior

Picture the scene:

It's the year 4000 BC, primitive doesn't even begin to describe the inhabitants of the earth. It's hard to differentiate between the cave man and the cave woman if it wasn't for...ummm, certain bits.

Fire is the "it" thing of the moment, followed closely by T-Rex earrings. After a hectic nights bonfire, the cave women are left to clean up whilst the cavemen attempt (again) to take down the neighbourhood woolie mammoth (unfortunately for the woolie mammoth nation, cavemen eventually get a little too good at doing this).

One cavewoman is put in charge of removing the charred logs and ash from the fire, which as you can imagine, is kinda messy. Whilst cleaning up, she pauses to rub her eyes a bit (all the dust is clearly annoying her) and turns to grunt something to some other cavewoman who is now looking at her all mesmerised and excited-like, gesturing wildly as if to ask, "What the heck is on your eyes, i love it!"

This would herald the birth of eyeshadow and eyeliner....and propel women throughout the ages to slap bright coloured, shimmery substances on their faces all in the name of looking good & looking different

Seriously though, i love makeup but its now getting too ridiculous:

- We now wear makeup so to look like we are not wearing make up.
- It's time consuming to get on, time consuming to get off.
- It's expensive (well the good stuff is...and we all want the good stuff).

In varsity, i knew a girl in my res who used to wake up a good 2 hours before her normal waking-up time just to get her face and hair did (i know this coz i was mesmerised by her flawless appearance everyday and just had to ask how she did it). As much as i scorn the utter ridiculousness of such actions, i can't help by admire this kind of dedication! I wish i had an ounce of such discipline, maybe then my hair would actually lie flat and behave, my skin looking flawless and my lips would be all rouged up.

Ahhhhhh, warried* for such things.....first off nothing eats into my sleep time...NOTHING. And secondly, a little makeup goes a long way but when you start looking:

a) nothing like your natural, former self;
b) like Ru Paul - enough said; and,
c) like Barbie's second cousin, twice removed.

It's time to put down the makeup brush ladies and take a well deserved makeup time-out...yah, i'm talking to YOU, lol :-)

*warried (origins = Zim slang, pronouced 'wah-reed'): Meaning - "Couldn't give a rat's a**" basically...oooh, and "apathy" would be another good word.

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Errrr, What's up Doc?: Yesterday, South Africa's 3rd president, Kgalema Motlanthe, was sworn in. Can't help but laugh at the topsy turviness of it all. SA is mediating in Zim for Zim to get a new president and cabinet of ministers, and yet they are the ones who now have a new president and group of ministers....all in the space of like 5 days! Lets hope the current of change is northward bound too ":-)

Driving Miss Daisy: I hate, HATE driving my parents around. Now i know they've known me since the days I lacked any bladder and bowel control, but come on now, i've come a long way since then...i even have motor skills and all to show for it. I had the delightful task of driving my papa around on Heritage Day, eish...pressure times. I am a good driver, honest...but it felt like my driver's test all over again. Thankfully i didn't prang into anything, kill anyone or execute any illegal turns, and in all fairness, he was trying to look comfortable about it all...but eish, there won't be a repeat performance anytime soon.

Raul, Raul, Wherefore Art Thou Raul: I am soooooooooooooo jealous of my younger sister, freaking frolicking in Mexico as we speak with some hottie called Pedro (Spanish names just ooze the hotness sha)! Boo, i want to be knocking back tequila's, wearing a sambrero, looking for a hottie named Raul and annoying the locals with my broken Spanish too! If you are reading this little sis...i want my postcard

NB: I am super obsessed with postcards, if i provide a postal address - when i eventually setup my post box - will you all send me a postcard for my collection, i am more than happy to return the favour...holla back with feedback).

It's 11am and i already in weekend mode and i am in the mood for a large, refreshing Mojito...some dancing...more mojitos...my very own Raul/Pedro and some retail therapy!

Espero que tengas un buen fin de semana hombres! (Hope you have a good weekend!)

V x

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

You are what you are

Depending on whom you ask in South Africa, today is either National Heritage Day or National Braai (Barbeque) Day.  As a lover of red-meat, I am all for the latter, but have loads of respect for the former. 

Who are you? - Simple enough question, freaking hard to answer though!  If you’re like me, you’ll probably end up blubbering something like, “I’m constantly evolving and hard to define” and leave it at that.

Most of us define who we are based on events, incidences, occurrences that have happened to us during our lifetime.  We never really stop to think, “Hey, I got to where I am and  I am whom I am, thanks to a lot of people, both living and dead.” 

I remember a passage from Jostein Gaader’s book, “The Solitaire Mystery”, that, to paraphrase, spoke about how we are all here because we are survivors.  Not just survivors of our own life, but survivors over hundreds of years, since the beginning of time in fact.  Gaader explains that every time an ancestor or ours survived an illness/attack/child birth/imprisonment/infant mortality and so on, we survived.  I don’t know about you, but that makes me pretty darn grateful for being here and for those who got me here.

So today, I think that’s what we all called on to remember: who we are, where we have come from and those who played and play instrumental roles in making and shaping us.

I like to think we are the sum parts of those who have gone before us, those who are with us and those yet to come.

Happy Heritage Day….everyday!

 Heredity

 I am the family face,
Flesh perishes, I live on,
Projecting trait and trace
Through time to times anon,
And leaping from place to place
Over oblivion.

The year–heired feature that can
In curve and voice and eye
Despise the human span
Of durance –that is I;
The eternal thing in man,
That heeds no call to die. 

Thomas Hardy

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**** has hit the fan: Crazy times man, crazy times! Supposedly 11 SA ministers have resigned since Mbeki was given marching orders.  Not to be selfish, but ummmm, what does that do to Zim talks & mediation (which has come to a grinding halt).  These are the only two countries I have ever called home, and they’re both falling apart…dude, I don’t want to relocate anymore!

What are you reading?  I have read all the Mills and Boons I think I can stomach over the last month or two (what, don’t judge), I am now in need of some solid reading material.  |

Any recommendations? What books are YOU reading as we speak?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Set Adrift a Memory Bliss of You



“I think it’s one of those deja-vu things,
or a dream that’s trying to tell me something.
Will I ever stop thinking about it?
I don’t know…I doubt it?
P.M. Dawn


What is it with balmy summer days that get me so damn nostalgic? The smell of freshly cut grass literally propels me back to 1990, when the smell of freshly mowed school fields heralded the onset of summer…and compulsory athletics from 2pm to 3pm *boo*.

A mate of mine had a fantastic belated birthday braai on Saturday. I love the dynamics of braai, African style! In true fashion, I got there wondering where all my girlfriends where, duh, back in the house putting salads and marinating the meat. And the fellas, thankfully not all men have morphed into prissy metrosexuals, and there were some strapping lads attending to the fire. Lol, I love how predictable the male/female dynamics and roles are at these things, like an age old dance of time.

Speaking of dancing, HELA, did we just not break it down old school style. Not a Lil Wayne or Young Jeezy track in sight, the DJ (complete with hectic looking turn tables and all) took us back, waaaaaaaaaaaay back, back into time!

Why do we still know ALL the lyrics to B.I.G’s raps, “B-I-G, P-O-P-P-A, No info for tha D-E-A, Federal Agents mad ‘cause I’m flavoured

Why is it exhausting and uncomfortable to do the running man? (Having boobs now probably doesn’t help)

Why does Da Brat still dress like its 1995?

As the drinks kept flowing, let’s just say the dance moves got more aerobic…and dare I say risqué, lol.

Great friends, Sun, Red Meat, Great Beats ….what more could a girl ask for?

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Going South? Eish, Southern Africa’s leadership is in a bit a quandary! Presidents are either refusing to leave, being fired or giving up the ghost! Never a dull moment around here, that’s for sure! Watching power plays pan out have made me adamant that politics is all about playing dirty and numero uno!

All this is for the people” wah wah wah is bull dust, everyone is looking out for their personal or vested interests and the wants and needs of the people whom they serve are merely an irritating buzz in the background. Fingers crossed that for one day, the good of the masses will be met.

John, Simba & Friends: Remember Violet Moyo? The gwashness, the tone-deaf harmonising? She has been eclipsed in my books by John, Simba & Friends album aptly named, “The Food Album”.

This album is made up of 13-odd tracks paying serious reverence to all things food related (chicken, sadza/pap and pies in particular) and has been out since 2004. I may be 4 years out of the loop, but Nas inspired tracks like “One Bite” and hilarious interludes like the remixed school war-cry, “Meat For Roasting” make this album worth waiting for. You do wonder what inspired these guys to put it together in the first place…I assume boredom, general malness and general nostalgia in the diaspora where driving forces!

Let me provide you with a lyrical sample of their TLC “No Scrubs” inspired track named “No Pie”

(Sing to the melody of the “No Scrubs” bridge & chorus)
“He said, “No, I don’t want to share,
But I can give you my quarter-pear*,
It is over there.”
I looked at him and said, “Pfutseke”

I don’t want your pie,
I think you’re a very stingy guy.
I want a chicken pie, not a kidney pie,
So you can go bye-bye.”

To John, Simba & Friends, I salute your rawness and thank you for putting a smile on my face :-)

*quarter-pear: No idea why an avocado in Zim terms/slang is called a Quarter-Pear? Sooooooooooooooo random?

Random sidenote: God Bless Dischem for their de-lint-er gizmos! My life is now fluff free :-)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Wardrobe Malfunction (sans Justin Timberlake)


It's just one of those man, just one of those days!


Fluff is the order of the day! Whilst trying to figure out what to wear to work this morning, i realised that all my clothes are covered in fluff. Throwing new towels into the washing load is not advisable! It doesn't help that i am a static-y person by nature, if there's fluff in the air, rest assured it will find its way to me. It also doesn't help that it's drier than the backside of a rhino stuck in the Namib desert outside, thus promoting all things static-y!


So after sifting and finding the least fluffed up item of clothing (where's a lint remover when you need one), i eventually make it work. Thing is, as i walking from the car park to the office lets just say things feel breezier than they really should. I look down and realise that the original slit on the front of my skirt has...well, its grown by a least an extra 3 or 4 cm's, which doesn't sound like much, but the original slit was already quite high. So yah, today peeps in the office are gonna cop more than an eyeful.

All i need now is to pop out of my shirt or something, then i will call it a day, lol :-)

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The dotted line: My cousin back home was good enough to breakdown just how the power has been distributed in Zim. I was looking at the list of "newly" appointed ministers (ummm, there seemed to be quite a few "old" favourites on that list) and was baffled when i came across the title of Minister of Prisons? Come now, doesn't prison administration fall under whomever is Minister of Justice etc? Thought that rather random! Anywho, with the ink still drying on this contract, lets hope things start looking up :-)


Who Would've Thunk: So this is my 100th blog post of the year, and my 300th blog post ever.

For someone with the attention span of a gnat, i am mad chuffed and impressed that i've even got this far, lol. Thanks to those of you who drop by and give my humble blog a read, keep coming through and drop a comment when you get the time!

Monday, September 15, 2008

4.23am!!!!!!!!

4.23am is NOT a kosher time to be up my friends, on a Monday of all days either!

The birds were twittering LOUD, the sun was out & about and i was awake trying to make sense of it all...at 4.23am.

I also made the mistake of sleeping with the window open, which wouldn't be a biggie if it hadn't been for the itty bitty fact that....well, last night was effing freezing.

So i am now sitting by my desk, having worked through a huge wad of kleenex tissues and starting to resemble Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer!

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Alan Shaw *swoon* : First off, how did i manage not to watch a single episode of Boston Legal? No idea, but since i've got my hands on Season 1 to 5 of the show, i have been moving through Season 1 rather swiftly! Yah yah yah, i know, very delayed action here, but better late than never! I just can't understand why i find Alan Shaw attractive????

My Way, Or the Highway: I don't like getting lost and i know that people say that's the only way to learn how to get around but it honestly just sucks! Yesterday i executed one of many illegal moves by turning down a one way street....ah well, you live you learn.

Hint Hint: It's exactly ONE month till my birthday...La La La La La. Am just saying :-)

Enjoy your Monday people!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Finally! About Bruddy Time!

So last night i was laying about in my couch-less, tv-less living room (*sigh*) watching Reaper off my laptop and trying to understand why a show is promoting the Devil as a misunderstood guy who just ultimately wants to be liked(wtf?) when i got an sms from my girl telling me that Breaking News on all major news channels is that Zim powersharing talks have come to an end and that something has been worked out.

First emotion: Relief

Second emotion (literally following First emotion on it's heels): Sceptism...just what has been reached?

Anywho, some document is gonna be signed by the two parties next Monday, lets hope that some good comes out of all this...living in limbo sucks serious a*s, like Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz, "There's no place like home."


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Super TED: Have any of you ever heard of TED? It's this forum where the world's greatest thinkers and doers come together and talk on a subject, giving their ideas and insights. The topics range from the most random of the random to some pretty relevant stuff.

It sounds quite dorkish, but i sh*t you not, i can't get enough of it! Especially of this talk given by a woman by the name of Helen Fisher talking about the evolution and trends in human relationships and where we're supposedly headed. I know, it sounds all pie in the sky but it's worth checking out, click here!

It's The Final Countdown: Am i the only one literally counting down the days till pay day (13, in case you were wondering). This weekend is gonna be so low-key, only non-money inducing activities will be entertained, like that Simply Red song goes, "Money's too tight to mention!"

Hope you all have a thrilling, inexpensive weekend! Be good :-)

V x