Friday, December 07, 2007

Unwritten: Work In Progress

“I am unwritten,
Can’t read my mind,
I’m undefined.”

Don’t laugh, but I’m toying with the idea of writing a trashy Harlequinesque type novel, it will be one my “projects” for the coming year. I blame my English A’ level teacher for planting the idea in my head many moons ago.

She actually wanted our whole English class to collectively write a trashy novel. I’m sure some goody-two-shoes ratted her out for her plans to stray away from the set syllabus because that was the last we heard about it.

The idea has been lying dormant in the back of my mind since then.

‘I’m just beginning,
The pen’s in my hand,
Ending unplanned.”

Boarding school provided me with sufficient fodder regarding all things romantic- fiction related as my boarding hostel was full of trashy-novel-peddlers & pushers. I swear I must have gone through at least a thousand of these books then which resulted in a sorry addiction I’ve been trying to shake for the better part of this Millennium.

Most people have narcotics to provide them with a quick-fix, I have trashy novels with the most predictable plots in the world to provide me with my fix. Tis very sad, believe me, I know! I’m hoping some good will come of this nasty habit possibly in the form of a bestseller on Oprah’s book club list perhaps, that would TOTALLY justify it.

“Stare at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty windows,
Let the sun illuminate the words you could not find

The formula is quite simple in these books: Boy meets Girl, a petty argument ensues, Girl and Boy are estranged for a while in which time one of the following happens:

1) Girl is pregnant with Boy’s offspring but conveniently forgets to send him this memo.

2) Boy goes off to find himself but can’t shake thoughts of Girl;

3) Either Girl or Boy reinvents themselves into a high and mighty big shot but somehow preserves the inner girl/boy-next-door.

A lot of back and forth ensues and eventually Boy and Girl realise they can’t live without each other *cue dramatic music and motorbike ride into the sunset*

“Reaching for something in the distance,
So close that you can almost taste it”

Told you I’d read a gazillion of these books (bad Vim, bad girl!)

“Release your inhibitions”

As yet, all I can come up with are nifty book titles and hilarious Nom de Plum's, but not plot or characters to speak of. What I do know, however, is that my impending best-seller will take place on this continent and my characters won’t have those rubbish stereotypical names that most of the characters in these books have, like: Hunter, Chad or Logan (I have yet to meet a male with any one of these names). Oh and red-haired damsel’s in distress are banned from my books, unless said damsel is sporting a wig or a weave, hahaha.

PLEASE feel free to offer up any suggestions regarding the plot, character names, background setting, promise me, they WILL be greatly appreciated. And of course I would acknowledge you in the Author’s note :-)

“Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you,
Only you can let it in,
No one else
No one else

Can speak the words on your lips
“Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten


Wazzie said...

Haa haa ha - did the blog quiz and I should be a joke writer. LOL

Ruby said...

yipeee!!! our vimmie is gonna write a best selling trashy novel!!!

Those things are the aboslute worst, but you just can't help yourself;-) I'll think a little and let you know. I wrote a novel once...but i never did anything with's still lying in my safe along with all the poems and songs...i'm just waaaaay tooo shy;-) good luck!!!!

Ruby said...

hey hey! me have been tagged...sorry! go check my post for details;-)

Vimbai said...

Wazzie: Saka you've got jokes huh, lol.

Ruby: Yes, i am gonna create some piece of well written trash. I wrote a novel once when i was 14yr old, my friend found it and i recently read it...eish, it was a struggle to get thru!

Ooooh, i've been tagged, yay!

Becks said...

Catching up on my favorite blogs after a weekend with no internet! GASP. My life almost fell apart. But er... I found this in my favourites (Dunno how it got there I swear!! She looks around guiltily).

Hope it at least gets you started. Got me to page 48... two years ago. AAAARGH!!!

Vimbai said...

Becks: My internet at home is STILL down, i've gone thru my cold turkey so i feel ya.

Lol, don't worry there's no judgment here, glad to know i'm not alone with this addiction is all, hahaha.