Friday, November 16, 2007

My very own Itchy & Scratchy show...

My younger brother’s little admirers have a tendency to shower him with gifts…lots of gifts. I have never seen anything like it! Given that Christmas is just round the corner, he’s going to be in the money, quite literally.

What was I saying again, oh yes, gifts. He has all sorts of really expensive colognes sent to him from diasporan admirers, he has countless chains & bracelets, teddy-bears (ummm, who buys a guy a teddy bear?), clothing and probably a lot more I would rather not know of!!!

What puzzles me the most is where are 16 – 20yr old girls sourcing the funds to buy him this stuff? Many a parent is wondering where the extra cash in their wallets has gone or why certain furnishings in their house have gone missing is my guess.

Once in a while, I tend to pocket some of these gifts, the chains mainly, ‘because they usually have amazing pendants…oh and because finders are keepers and losers are weepers.

I do, however, get paranoid that one day I will find some random female admirer of his glaring at me while I’m at the shops or out on the town, because she recognises that chain I’m adorning was her gift to my brother…but I am willing to take that risk.

Correction, I WAS willing to take that risk, but no longer am because I came to the vast realisation that as generous as those 16 – 20yr old girls are, they’re freaking cheap!

Those chain gifts of theirs are made from the most freaking reactive metal ever…a metal that has now been absorbed by the pores of my skin and turned my neck into not so subtle red shade and adorned it with a rash which is itchy like heck!

Poetic justice you may say….bloody unnecessary & most unfortunate I say!

Have a fantastic weekend!

V x

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

He he he, that will teach you Scratchy to go stealing things....manje shame. You better hope they didnt put muti on the item! You never know with this youngster chicks!

Lolo said...

Serves you right but sorry. no wonder your brother wasnt wearing them...he knew ijunk he he he!
Or it could be the muti that anyone female wore it would itch

Vimbai said...

Anon - Youngster chicks are getting a bit desperate innit...i hope they didnt put any muti, manje i've got muti of my own *evil chuckle*

Lolo: Ko where's the sympathy nhayi? Lol, and knowing how fussy my lighty is, he probably knew ijunk hahaha.

G-Mack said...

There is no sympathy cause some of us know what its like to have older siblings who feel entitled to our things!
Now i know how to fix them!
He hehe, and you will forever be known as Scratchy!

Lolo said...

Hi Scratchy

Vimbai said...

G-Mack - You have a lot of pent-up aggression towards this issue, i suggest you hollar at your siblings and let them know just how you feel...and i'm answering to Scratchy!

Lolo - That goes for you too, no calling me Scratchy!

Anonymous said...

Lot's of symbolism in that post, Vim. Itchy and Scratchy, television fictional arch rivals always at each other's throats, albeit in good humour (much like the sibling tiffs you are accustomed to when your brother is around). At the same time, you've been itching and scratching since the 'fancy', sparkly jewellery you had been flaunting on nights out to the Keg turned out to be nothing more than glossy aluminium foil....

You're good, you....

Vimbai said...

Even glossy aluminium would have been better...patrons of the keg will indeed be sad to see me sans cheap jewellery, lol.